Re-united (An Elijah Mikaelson Story)

Losing myself

I stood looking at the imprints I made on my walls. Falling to the floor, I kept looking and sobbing. I'm guessing Elijah heard my crying, as there was a knock on the door. Reluctantly, I opened it, to see, obviously Elijah. He stepped in the room, opening his mouth to say something, but looking at the walls, he closed it and just stared at me. His expression turned from sympathetic to worried. "Did you do this?" He asked " I didn't know what I was doing, I just lost control" I replied. He walked up to where I had written "monster" and ran his index finger along it, the red liquid came of onto his finger, he then lifted it to smell it, "this is your blood" he said. I looked down at the floor to avoid eye contact, I felt embarrassed and weak, I never liked feeling weak, it was one of the worst feelings in the world. "Rose" he started, taking a step towards me, I took a step back, "what is wrong?" He asked, tilting his head like a puppy, he looks so innocent. "I never though I would be a vampire, I sacrificed myself, I should have died, and now I can't access my magic and there are voices in my head from my past ancestors, calling me a traitor" I replied. I had tried to block out the voices, they called me a monster, I was a witch and I unintentionally revoked my right to be one when I tole Esther I would die in honour of saving the entire vampire race.
"Come now" he started, grabbing my hand and placing me next to him on the bed "your whole life has been spent practising witchcraft, maybe it is time to try something new?" He finished, I looked at him "it's not that simple, transitioning from a witch, who connects to nature to a vampire who destroys nature and goes against everything human" I raised my hand as if to levitate a case on my bedside table "you see?" I asked "nothing" the vase stood still, I stood up and walked to the object and used my hand to swipe it of the table so it smashed into pieces when it hit the floor. "Listen, Rose, I can help you with whatever you're going through right now" Elijah said standing up, I lost control again, I was craving blood and the anger riled up in me "how can you help me? Elijah please tell me, all you can do is fuck Hayley when I'm not looking, I did this to save you, because I love you but you don't feel the same because you love Hayley" a burning sensation in my chest grew intense and painful, I yelled out in pain and fell to the floor. Elijah dropped with me, to see if I was okay and Klaus came running through the door "what the bloody hell is going on in here?" He was take aback by the new decor but was more worries why I was screaming in pain on the floor. "Her emotions are getting the better of her" Elijah replied to Klaus "well can we do anything?" Klaus asked, Elijah shook his head, looking very worried.

Elijah stood up and motioned that Klaus follow him to outside the room. They talked for a while, quietly muttering, but they did not take into account that my supernatural abilities allow me to hear conversations. "You're saying there is nothing we can do, Elijah look at her, she's dying in there"
"Niklaus, there is one way, but I don't really like the idea of it"
"Brother, what is it?" They both paused for a while, I started to become curious "her emotions" Elijah started "she can switch them off, but then we'd all lose her"
"But she will be in no pain" Klaus finished, I could tell they were both contemplating on telling me. "But we would lose her, and I know both me and you care for her" Elijah finished. After some time of silence, they re entered the room. Elijah was the first one to ask if I was okay, I nodded, the pain had softened leaving just a weak throbbing. I lifted myself up, placing my hand on Elijah's shoulder , "I'm sorry for what I said, I wasn't myself"
"I know, it is forgiven, you can't help it" Klaus sat down on the bed, looking troubled, I could tell that he was thinking about different ways of helping me. It was like a curse, I was hurting the people I love the most.

I sat in my room, feeling myself tear away from reality, the music from Klaus' ball emanated from downstairs. I was invited, but I didn't feel well enough, I haven't yet controlled my huger and wouldn't be able to live with myself if I ruined the party by going on a massacre. It sounded fun though, I heard people laughing and their feet on the dance floor. Maybe just one dance , I kept thinking. I thought Elijah would be waiting downstairs, hoping for me to come down. The thought of him there made me happy so I quickly got dressed into a deep blue metallic dress, it wasn't too elegant, just something in my wardrobe. I walked out onto the balcony, peering out at the people below, whirling and laughing. My smile quickly dropped as the smell of blood overwhelmed me. I felt the veins underneath my eyes grow and turn visibly black. I searched the crowd, fighting the cravings, just to find Elijah. I searched the bar from above and the dance floor. I finally locked eyes with him, he was on the dance floor, with Hayley. We both looked at each other, when he was about to take his lips of her head. I was infuriated, my eyes turned black, giving into the thirst, I ran and grabbed the first human I could and ran to my room. Nobody noticed that I had taken her, except for Elijah of course.

I locked the door, the woman frightened , she tried to wriggle out of my grasp. Breathing heavily and very loudly. I looked at her and compelled her not to scream or run. She obeyed. In couldn't resist any longer, Elijah began knocking on the door in a worry. But as he was knocking, I was feeding, I held the body of a woman in my arms and dropped her to the floor. Both Elijah and Klaus broke down the door to see me crying over a bloody corpse. "No no no no no no" I repeated, pacing the room, not acknowledging anyone's presence. I finally sat on the bed followed by both Elijah and Niklaus. They tried talking, but I blocked out all noise except for my own thoughts. The pain was unimaginable, the guilt, the hurt and the fact that I enjoyed every part of killing that woman.
I closed my eyes, yelling in pain. But after a few minutes, the pain went, I didn't feel a thing. I opened my eyes to see and hear Elijah and Klaus screaming at me, trying to get me to respond. Elijah was holding my hand, I furrowed my eyebrows and snatched my hand away. "She's abandoned her emotions" Klaus exclaimed, Elijah looked worried, shaking his head in denial. But I didn't feel a thing.