Macy

Chapter 14

"Would God ever be disappointed in us if we fell in love with the wrong person?" I asked Father James during another one of our chats.

I've grown fond of these talks with him and have found a person who doesn't pry for answers when I'm asking questions. It's refreshing really.

"Define 'the wrong person'?" he responded thoughtfully.

"A person who wouldn't be accepted by my family"

"I don't think God could ever be disappointed in us for loving someone because it is the greatest gift one could give or receive. To love someone and to be loved are the two ultimates in life, so I don't think there is room for God to be disappointed in the person we fall in love with. But that's not to say we fall in love with a person who is right for us"

"Doesn't that make them the wrong person then?"

"Not necessarily, take it like this; if you're addicted to eating chocolate would you be more disappointed in yourself if you were... let's say a chain smoker? Probably not, because smoking is a lot worse for your body than the consumption of chocolate" a little lost by the analogy I nodded along with Father James "yet people still smoke because it stimulates them like how love can stimulate you. But you should also make sure to never let blind love get in the way of real love"

"Blind love?" I asked curiously, never hearing of the term before.

"Blind love, foolish love they go hand in hand. Foolish love makes a person blind to true intentions and what that person is doing to hurt them. That's when love becomes dangerous, when you lose sight on what matters to you"

Would potentially losing my family be worth loving Billie?

I think I love Billie, actually I know I love Billie, but I think I'm in love with her too.

But what if she doesn't love me and I come out.

I'd lose my family and I'd lose Billie.

I'd have started off with everything and ended up with nothing.

"If I love someone how do I know they love me back?"

"I was scared you'd ask me this" he chuckled "and honestly I can't give you an answer because it's different for everyone. But what I can tell you is that love is the small things"

The small things Billie does for me is what I appreciate the most.

How she holds my hand, constantly rubbing her thumb over mine. How she peppers my face with kisses whenever she sees me and giggles in my face while doing so.

The way she tucks my hair behind my ears. She spoils me with food even when I say I'm not hungry.

Even though she makes fun of me and my religion and family, Billie will hurt anyone who bad mouths me in a second.

And looking after me when we came home from the party by taking my make up off since she knew I'd hate myself if I woke up with mascara on.

"I think it's the small things too" I smiled softly and nodded "thanks again Father, I really enjoy our little heart to hearts"

"I'm glad I can help in any way I can Macy"

Matty's truck has a mind of its own, I swear. One day it will refuse to start and the second it won't.

But luckily for me it's working today and since Billie is with Finneas she couldn't be my ride to the church or home.

After I parked it in the garage, I opened the glove compartment and fished out my phone but instead I grabbed an envelope.

And a very old envelope at that.

I turned it over to see who it was addressed to and why it was in the truck, however my name was on it in Matty's writing.

In all the years since Matty left I have never received a letter from him. After all the letters I wrote to him, I never received one in return. Not even a 'thanks, I'm alive'.

"What the..." I whispered into the air as I pulled out a handwritten letter addressed to me.

Macy,

I've screwed up. Big time.

And our parents are making me pay for it.

If you're reading this then my hiding spot in the truck worked and they never rummaged through the truck to destroy this.

First of all I'm sorry you were born into this family. I wish we had different parents who were loving and accepting of the people we are.

I got caught with a boy. I don't think you'll remember but I didn't attend mass two weeks ago. That's because my boyfriend at the time was coming over and we were 'hanging out'.

Mom and dad came home early because she left the pie in the fridge and you were with the Cooper and Max at their house.

I got caught. We were kissing on the couch and it turned into a living hell. I won't traumatise you with the details but just know there is a reason I left to the military so quickly. I just had to leave and get out of that hell of a house.

I'm sorry for leaving you and I'll write to you as often as I can, but I doubt they would allow that.

But know that however long I'm away for there isn't a day where I do not think about my little sister.

Love your brother,

Matty

A/N  many of y'all were right, our baby boy Matty was born with the gay gene too. 

I know it's short but I'll update again tomorrow!

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Be kind and safe,

Bilstan <3