Macy

Chapter 15

I have never felt rage before. I don't think I've felt true anger until now.

I'm mad.

I'm mad at my parents, I'm mad at the church, I'm mad about our religion and I'm mad they kicked my brother out rather than listening to him.

Angry tears cascaded down my face as I stormed into the kitchen where both my parents were.

There are a million questions running through my mind but the most significant one is how?

How could they just abandon their own son? Their blood?

"Is this true!" I screamed gaining their attention quickly.

"Macy, honey. What's wrong?" dad asked concerned.

"What's wrong is that everyone has been lying to me! Now I get that I'm the youngest and I'm the baby girl of the family. And that I am more innocent than others but I- I don't appreciate being lied to about my brother! MY BESTFRIEND!"

Their expressions turned from concerned to guilty to emotionless.

"Matty made a deal with the devil and he is serving his country as an act of repentance" momma explain calmly, not a waver in her voice from giving up on her son.

"Just because he's gay? Just because he isn't straight?" I cried, my worst fear coming true.

What are the odds that both their kids are gay? The irony is just too good to be true, and if God really has a plan for us, he must have been on the booze when writing ours.

"No child of mine is a homosexual Macy"

"Matty is my brother! And you scared him off! Has he really not tried contacting me or have you two been blocking the communication?"

It's all starting to make sense. The urgency to change topics whenever I or someone else brings Matty up.

All the little comments about how he's no longer apart of the family.

The one liners from Cooper and Max about Matty and their sudden hostility for our parents around the time he left.

I remember the first three to five months after Matty left, they never wanted to come over. They always made me go to their house and now I know why.

The missing piece of this ongoing, brain snapping jigsaw has finally fallen into place and everything is crashing down on me.

I've always thought people who describe bad news as an impending doom have always been dramatic but that's what it feels like.

And the fact that I have a girlfriend who I love but will never be able to show my love for her is dangling over my head like an impending doom is crashing onto my shoulders and I might just sink this time.

"We felt that you didn't need his view on the world in your life. You're still so young Macy and you don't need to be influenced by such sin" momma tried justifying their actions again and I stared at her like she was the crazy woman she's turned out to be.

"I turn eighteen in a few months! I finish high school soon! Let me make decisions for myself and if I want to speak to my brother who I miss dearly! Let me!" I sobbed, wiping the tears from my cheeks frustratedly.

"Macy that's enough" dad said sternly, finally, breaking his silence "Matthew made his decision and it's what he has to live with now"

I shook my head in a saddened state of disbelief "and if I were gay? What would happen? Would I still be your daughter?"

"No child of mine is gay Macy" was momma's clipped answer, her eyes just as callous and void of emotion as her tone.

"Unbelievable" I muttered angrily and ran to my room, slamming my door shut.