always you (larry stylinson)

chapter 10

'Louis, what the hell are you talking about?' Harry raised an eyebrow, looking confused at the other.

'What if you shouldn't forgive me? What I have done...said to you...about you...us...was horrible. And it wasn't just one time I hurt you. You have been broken too many times by me and I don't wanna do that to you again. I don't want you to go through all that pain again. I am a horrible person, and especially horrible for you.'

Louis was stuttering, his lips were shaking and his eyes started to tear up, so he looked down on the floor. His whole body tensed at the thought of hurting Harry again. He didn't want to look into his eyes, he was filled with too much guilt and pain. Harry couldn't believe what he just heard.

Does this boy not know he's his everything?

'Louis, you were the one to come and say sorry and that says more about who you are than anything you've done to me.' Harry said softly but his voice was trembling.

'You deserve a much better partner than me.' Louis's voice cracked in the middle of this sentence, making the end barely hearable. He really thought this, he really believed Harry deserved someone better.

But it wasn't true.

'You are an idiot, you know that right?' Harry slid closer to Louis on the couch and pulled him into a tight hug. Louis snuggled his head into the other's shoulders 'You are my everything. You are my world. Life makes no sense without you by my side.' He whispered into the short one's ears. 'You hear that?'

His voice was soft, knowing well how insecure Louis was. He was gently rubbing his back to comfort him and for a few moments at a time, playing a bit with his hair. The other boy just pulled him even closer (not like that was really possible at this point but he tried) They just sat like this for quite a long time and none of them wanted to break the silence.

'I love you' Louis whispered in a raspy breath, then sobbing for a bit. Harry's heart stopped for a hot moment, as he hasn't heard these words from him in such a long time 'So fucking much Curly' Harry snickered at the nickname, he couldn't even remember when he was last called that 'I really am so fucking sorry for being an arse so many times. I-I just love you so much and I don't wanna see you get hurt. I've seen you cry too many times and I've seen you cry way too many times because of me and it hurts to see you like that. I never wanna see you like that, ever again. I never meant to hurt you. Never, ever in a million years but I'm just screwed up. I'm sorry.'

Louis completely broke down and Harry felt tears running down his shirt as Louis sobbed his way through this monologue.

'Louis, I have forgiven you. A long time ago. And I know you'd never intentionally hurt me. I know. I know why you did what you did...management...they changed you. They changed both of us but you took it harder. But I know the real you. And I know you won't hurt me again, alright?'

'How do you know H?' Louis finally lifted his head to look into the green orbs. Both of their eyes were full of tears and it was red from trying no to cry.

'Because this time...things will be different. We won't have to hide. We'll never have to hide again. Management cannot control us anymore. When you said...'

'When I said that Larry was the biggest bullshit ever? When I said El and I are happy and I'd appreciate if people would stop with the gay rumours? And that you and I were not even friends after the hiatus started? When I said all those things about how you were clingy and annoying and it was never anything real, not even on a friendship level? When I said-'

Louis completely shut up, his lips were trembling and his entire body was shaking even though Harry was keeping him a hug.

'Lou, shh. It was, it was a different time back then. At the time I felt like you have betrayed me because you promised you would stay neutral and you didn't. I knew, deep down, you had to deny our relationship, and I denied it too. But you said horrible things about it, you said things about me I thought I'd never hear from your mouth, you said things about us that weren't even close to being true and that fucking hurt me at the time. I was just a child, we both were just children. I should've known better than to break up with you. Because you could have been the only person who could've helped me through hard times but I was too young and most of all too damaged and in pain to see that.'

'But I hurt you, Harry. I never meant any of those words but I still hurt you. The words came out of my mouth, Modest only told me to deny it, they didn't tell me to shit all over it. It was me. I decided to put it that way, there was no need for it. It was fucking me!'

He exclaimed as his tears came down running his face, all his muscles stiffened up and he pulled away from Harry.

'No Lou, it wasn't you. It was a different, alternate version of you. The management Louis. The pressure was too big on you. You were the one to get a permanent "girlfriend", you pulled the shorter straw and of course the pressure got to you and changed you. You were just a kid who was changed by someone because they thought his true self wouldn't be loveable. But I knew who you were, I know who you truly are, Louis. Those bastards, they didn't, they didn't know that everything about you is loveable. When I heard you say what you said...my stupid ass thought you might mean it because I was just too dumb to actually comprehend the information like now. I didn't understand that you cracked under the influence of Modest. But now I get it, and Louis, I hate myself for breaking up with you. Because I played the victim when you were probably even more broken than me. But I just needed time to mature and understand what great effect management actually had on you.'

'Harry, I am so sorry.' Louis went back into the hug again. There were no other words that were needed to be said. Or if there were, the hug actually said everything.

They sat there like that in complete silence, which was only broken by some sobs or sniffles. They just there, hugging, holding on to each for dear life for God knows how long, could have been minutes, maybe even hours.

Then Harry broke the quiet with 3 words that none of them expected to be said today.

'Marry me Louis.'

Notes:

this chapter took me aaages because honestly i kept crying while writing & i'm still not satisfied with the finished product but i hope you enjoyed it :)