always you (larry stylinson)

chapter 15

§ september 26th, 2020 §

[Harry's point of view]

It was 3am. I wasn't able to fall asleep, even though Louis was fast asleep beside me. We had to wake up at 5am and at this point I have just given up on sleeping, I was just laying with Louis' head on my chest and him softly snoring, me playing with his hair at the crook of his neck from time to time. My thoughts were racing in my head, anxious about tomorrow. Well technically today. We were planning to release the tour dates, the promo video and all that jazz. We were also scheduled to do an interview with James Corden (who else?), our first public appearance as a 5-person-band in over 5 years. I was excited, of course, but I was also terrified of the public's reactions.

I slowly lifted my arm to check the time on my phone but me being as clumsy as I am, I knocked over the bottle of water I keep on my nightstand, cursing under my breath and praying to God that Louis didn't wake up. But, well...

'Haz?' His voice was raspy, very quiet and a bit annoyed 'Haz, what on Earth are you doing?'

'Sorry baby, go back to sleep.' I whispered, pressing a soft kiss on the top of his head 'I was just checking the time and I knocked the water over.' I explained quickly.

'You okay?' Louis turned to face me, staring into my eyes by the faint moonlight, trying to make out my facial expressions.

'Couldn't sleep, that's all.' I admitted, not wanting to look into his eyes.

'What's wrong? Talk to me please.' His voice was gentle, one of his hand's stroking my waist, the other turning my head to face into his direction, only for me to meet his worrying eyes.

'Nothing, just a bit anxious about it all.'

'About what?'

'The tour 'n all. Public's reaction. All of us on stage. Promo and interviews and stuff. Ya know.'

I mumbled, a bit embarrassed since this was going to be my 5th tour with the lads, and 7th tour overall. I felt stupid for feeling this way, I didn't even know why I felt this way. It was what I wanted, it was what all of us wanted, to tour under our own terms, without getting overworked and now that we were there I was scared? It didn't make sense. Just like Louis has read my thoughts, he pressed a soft kiss onto my lips then looked into my eyes.

'It's okay to feel this way Harry. It is perfectly okay. I know you don't think so, I know you think it might be stupid but it isn't. We haven't sang together on stage in 5 years, it is natural to feel this way. You hear me? It's okay.'

'But-'

'No buts, love. Please just listen to me. I can tell you it's okay that you feel this way because I'm worried too. But I can also tell you've got no reason to, we've got no reason to. Everything is gonna go so well, we'll do amazing, the fans will sure as hell love it, and, what's most important is, we will have fun. Alright?'

'Alright.' I nodded and felt calmer. My worries didn't go away but having Louis with me helped. 'Thank you.' I said with the most sincere voice possible, scooting closer to him and burying my head in his chest, inhaling his smell and enjoying the warmth he radiated.

'Can we go back to sleep now? I'm tired as fuck and we need to wake up too early for my liking.'

'Can you...can you do the thing?' I whispered into his chest, feeling immediately embarrassed that I even asked him that.

'Of course, H.' He said clearing his throat, knowing exactly what I wanted even though the last time I asked for it was years and years ago. He started humming the opening lines of Home. He then switched to singing the lyrics, in the softest voice possible, to calm me down and help me fall asleep. He started doing this around 2015-16 when I just felt too much pressure and could never sleep. His voice always helped me. I just mumbled an absentminded thank you and right around the second chorus, I fell asleep.

I woke up to the alarm blaring and looked for my phone blindly on the nightstand, too tired to even open my eyes. After a few seconds of searching my hand bumped into it and I abruptly turned the annoying sound off. I turned over to scoot closer to Louis, but all I found was a cold pillow and no sign of him.

'Louis?' My voice was scratchy, tired and barely above a whisper but in hope that he was close, I kept repeating his name. When I didn't get an answer, I stood up, quickly pulling a hoodie over my head. It was freezing cold in the room, as usual we forgot to turn on the heating last night but we didn't feel that under the warm blankets.

'Louis?' I called out his name again because he wasn't in the bathroom attached to my room. I opened my door slowly which was creaking loudly. Reminder to self: do something with it because it is hella annoying. I walked down the stairs, constantly yawning, last night's 2 hours of sleep showing very well on me. I kept calling out Louis' name but I never got an answer. Suddenly there was a loud crash in the kitchen and then-

'For fuck's sake, damn it!!!!' The all so familiar voice shouted. 'Can't even make coffee without making a mess.' He said in a much lower and softer voice, anger still hiding in his tone.

'Morning Lou.' I stepped behind him hugging his middle and pressing a wet kiss to his neck.

'Hi baby, did I wake you?' He turned my way, bit of startling in his eyes because I came out of nowhere.

'No, you didn't, my alarm clock did. Big day today, you know.'

'I know!' Louis' voice was too cheerful for the early hours of the morning, leaving me a bit suspicious.

'Is everything okay?'

'Yeah, yeah, it's just that today we can finally act however we want on camera.' He said with the biggest smile on his face and handing me the cup of coffee he was making, then taking the filter out of his mug he stirred his tea and sat down at the kitchen isle. 'You know, like back in the old days. I will finally be able to look at you, joke around with you, tease you, and just in general, act like we don't hate each other as the media wanted everyone to believe.'

I didn't have an answer for this, the weight of his words had to sink in. He was right. We actually could do this. Not too much, of course, until we aren't out, but more than we were allowed in the last few years. We weren't gonna have to hide anymore. This thought made all my worries go away, a bright and huge smile forming on my face. I saw in Louis' eyes that he knew I realised it too so leaving his mug behind, he stepped next to me and glued his lips on to mine. It wasn't a sexual or teasing kiss, it was full of love, caring and happiness. I could feel his smile on my lips. When he pulled away, his blue eyes were shining with tears but I have never seen them brighter, they were tears of happiness.

'I love you so much, Louis.'

'I love you too, you big sap.'

'Hey, I'm not the one crying!'

'Those are...those are not tears, the tea is just too hot and it made me sweat.' He huffed out in annoyance.

'Ah I see. It's sweat. In your eyes. But nowhere else. Got it honeyboo. Just sweat. Yeah, okay.'

'Stop it you...just. Stop.' He playfully pushed me with a pout on his lips but it quickly disappeared and the same bright smile took its place, lust suddenly playing in his eyes. Just as he was about to kiss me again, I put my hand on his chest, stopping him.

'Lou, as much as I want to, we actually uh, need to get ready and leave.'

'Shit, yeah.' His eyes turned a bit darker, smile fading. 'But I'm starving.' He whined.

'We'll just eat something on the set, alright?'

'Yeah, okay, let's go.' He admitted in defeat, and putting his now empty mug (when the hell did he time to finish his tea???) in the dishwasher, he headed upstairs.

'Wait up mister, don't want you getting in the shower without me.' I added with a cheeky smile then followed him up the stairs.

Notes:

again, i am terribly sorry for not uploading for so long, i've had tons of things to do for school and never had the motivation to write, i actually had to rewrite this chapter about 10 times and i am still not the happiest with the finished product

thank you for all the love on the previous chapters, it truly means the world to me!!!