Promiscuous (Who's the slut?)

Chapter Nine

The only person in the world who'd made me feel secured was my mother. Now that she was dead I have no one to hold on to but myself. This world is a survival of the fittest.

If you let them in, you lose.

If you let yourself over them, you win.

After a year I hadn't felt this human again. I walked. I talked. Just for the sake of breathing my revenge everyday of my life. But something broke the dam of emotion inside me. Was it my fear of the unknown? Was it Rave's kiss and embrace? Or was it Rave himself?

"Ssshhh.." I've already drenched his shirt. I was hiccuping soundlessly.

He cupped my face. "I'm here." Two words. But it sounded the world to me at that time. As if he was going to protect me, not just to guard the family's name. But me. Only me.

But I don't need anyone. Why should I? I've long proven that needing is weakness.

I tried to get my words coherent. "It's nothing." I could see that he's not believing me.

"I could wring your lovely stubborn neck." He whispered to my ear while gently caressing my back. It has its soothing effect. I'd never felt this way. Or maybe the call was just making me maudlin.

"Even if you don't tell me now. I have my sources, you know." He looked dangerous now. Not Rave, the bodyguard. But the other side of Rave, the trained military guy.

"I said, it was nothing! You're just a damn bodyguard." I retorted angrily. I don't want him to know. I've no idea but I had this gnawing feeling that he will look down on me the minute he knew the truth. As if he doesn't treat you any less than a whore. Will he see me as Brix did? So what? Does his opinion of you matter?

Yes.

It hit home. I sat up straight and wiped my tear-stained cheeks. I built a wall to myself against the world before, why do I have to break it down now just because someone had just taken time to comfort me? To listen to me?

"I don't need your pity Rave."

"Dammit Maire... I don't pit---"

"Just take me home." I shouted and met his bold challenging eyes. Telling him that I wasn't afraid of anything. But in truth, I wanted somebody to make an honest woman out of me.

"No, bababa na lang ako. And don't you ever follow me." I saw his jaw flexed in anger and frustration. I thought he was going to protest but his face didn't betray any. I got out of his car.

He wasn't really going to follow me. That hurt. He doesn't really care.

I saw myself visiting my mother's grave. I wanted to bare my soul to her the way I always did before. Then I frowned at the fresh bouquet of flowers. Someone must have been here earlier.

It couldn't have been Mamita. She detested going here. Not even father.

There was a note.

From your future son-in-law.

I gasped. Who the hell was doing this to me? I put the flowers as if it was a poison in my hand. I tried to calm myself. He was scaring me again. He didn't win before. Not now. Not ever.

"I'm not Marie Claire for nothing. I'm not---"

I screamed when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Then a hand clasped hard on my mouth to silence me. My heart was beating so wild. My eyes were going to pop out any moment.

"What's the matter?" I breathed a sigh of relief. I sagged on him as if my strength was robbed off me.

"Brix? What are you doing here? Have you been..." my voice trailed off. What if I'm just getting paranoid? What if...