Promiscuous (Who's the slut?)

Chapter Thirty Three

Numbness became me. I couldn't make myself cry even just for the sake of public appearance. Laina would do that for both of us. Not that I wasn't mourning Mamita but because I was drained of all the tears I had inside of me. We didn't wait for days for the burial.

"My condolences." I nodded as people shake their hands with me.

"I am sorry." I looked up to see Caroline. We walked side by side in silence. We stopped in front of her car.

"I never wanted things to end up this way." She shrugged and picked the small wilting flower on the ground. I just nodded as my attention was on her fingers plucking the petals.

"We're like this... we'll die and wither." I nodded again. What was there to say? She thought she would be young and fresh forever, ready to take on the world. But best lessons are learned when you experienced them painfully.

"I'm leaving for the states. Just... be careful." She reached for me and I stiffened in her embrace. In time, I would forgive her but not now that the wound was still fresh.

She got in her car and on with her life.

I'd never seen Brix since then. Rave had replaced his side with Laina. He was always there hugging her. Protecting her. Whispering words of comfort as if he knew her a long time ago. It was sickening.

"The lawyer's going to read the last will testament." Laina approached me with venom in her eyes.

"Fine."

"Maire I—" He grasped on thin air. I was walking to the library door as quickly as possible but something caught my attention. There on the floor was a small note. I'd seen that attached from the flowers delivered last night. I just didn't have the time to see to it.

Congratulations. Two down.

I shivered coldly. The note fell off my hands and on the floor.

"Ms. Enrique?" The lawyer was looking at me intently. Laina was sitting there hands folded on her lap.

"Ms. Marie Claire and Laina Enrique, my two granddaughters. I knew this day would come. I don't have to give this much thought. I am giving Laina the assets and the investments I had for years. Even the mansion and the cars."

Laina smiled in triumph. I'd known this was coming. My grandmother would leave me penniless.

"I leave this key and a letter to my only granddaughter Marie Claire."

The lawyer stood up and shook hands with us. I hurt. What's new with that? I stared at the key and an old letter in my hand. A consolation prize for being an Enrique.

"Congratulations Laina. You have it all." I turned my back on her. Calmness wasn't deserting me.

"Yes. But I never had what I wanted the most." She spoke so softly I thought it was just my imagination.

"I don't know what you wanted. You won. Is that what you wanted to hear from me?"

She laughed ruefully. "Won? Let's say I deserve everything." She strode right in front of me. Her eyes were ice cold.

"Do you know? I had to obey their every word because I was afraid they'd boot me out in no time at all." She was now shouting and spreading her arms in the open.

"Of course, you knew that I'm not your father's child. I had to be Laina this and Laina that just to be loved by Mamita. Your father accepted me... but never loved me!" She was revealing this side of Laina I hadn't seen before. I swallowed an imaginary lump in my throat.

"That's why you hated me. Because you thought I would take away all... of this. You've ruined me in their eyes." It was stated casually on my part. I walked past her.

"Laina... I pity you."

I opened the door just as I'd almost bumped into Rave. I ignored him but he grabbed my arm and whirled me about.

"We have to talk."

"There's nothing to talk about."

"About us."

"There is no us."

"Why are you being so stubborn?"

"Why are you being so difficult?"

I took my arm roughly only to be pulled by him while his other arm encircled my waist. He drew me nearer. Another of his many tricks.

"What happened that night—"

"Was nothing... I was vulnerable. Isn't that your style to pick on vulnerable women?"

His eyes were blazing now. "So that was an excuse on your part? Jumping off to bed because... because..." He hissed at me. Why was he angry? It should be the other way around. I should be..

"No. That was a 'thank you' for the free lodging."

"Rave?" That was the aversion he need. It was like magic that his grasp softened a little that made me run free up to my room. I could care less if he was shouting my name.

I covered my eyes with my arms. I needed sleep. I fell into a deep slumber... into an empty pit of darkness. Somebody was running after me. When I turned around he had this white mask on and a cape. Just like the Phantom of the Opera Laina loved to watch so much. Laina was laughing behind. Then I bumped into Brix who didn't want to let go of me. I was screaming Rave's name when I saw Lucy being taken by the Phantom.

"Pumpkin... wake up!" A handsome chinito face welcomed my blurring vision. I was panting. Everything came back to me all at once. I felt empty. Someone told me that despair came after numbness wore out. I curled into a ball hugging my knees to my chest. Riel caressed my hair. I am totally alone now. Tears were streaming down my face.

"Hush... You'll make yourself sick." But it only made my sobbing louder like a baby. He stretched on the bed beside me and wrapped me in his arms. It seemed like forever when my hiccups died down.

I looked up at Riel. He had this protective nature that made me clung to him.

"Kiss me." Maybe, just maybe I'd give myself a chance with him. He's my first. I'd surely feel that familiar sensations that would ease my misery. It's wrong but he's the only one thing I could hold on to in my life now or else I would break down.

He bent down his face just as I closed my eyes tightly willing to block away the silly vision of a man with shaggy hair and a sexy smile.

The moment his lips touched mine, it was like a butterfly had landed on a petal. It was soft. Just like a lover's caress. He pulled me tighter in his arms.

I was checking for my feelings. Trying to build a sensation that wasn't there. It's dormant. Passive. Why is it so... Rave as so much touch my fingers I felt the flames run down my body. But this... there was no tingling feeling. Only security with Riel. I shouldn't compare. It's bad of me. I wasn't responding. I just let him do this to me... kiss me. But my feelings weren't involved.

Maybe it will build on its own accord.

But for now... I just let myself depend on someone else. Someone.. I could trust myself with.