Love never dies

Chapter 4 : no choice

Christine's POV

I slowly went back to De Chagny's house . I have to get my mind straight . I have to swore not to tell anyone about last night . I was walking to the front yard when Raoul came up to me .

" Christine ! There you are . Where have you been ? I thought you left me ! " Raoul said angrily . Ugh he smell like alcohol . He must be drinking so much last night . I was so afraid so I held back my tear .

" Im sorry dear . I was just talking a walk . I'm feeling a little nervous " I fake a laugh .
" Well hurry up , we can't be late for our own wedding . "
" yeah . " i sighed .

I was in my room getting dress with the help from Raoul's maids. I look at myself in the mirror and think about Erik . How could he ? After the night we had how could he just leave me like that ? With no notes even . Just a rose , a simple rose with black ribbon on it . How dare he . I love him . I really do . I poured out my soul to him .. I was too angry to be crying and was too confused to be thinking about the wedding . I just let Raoul's maid handle my dress . The dress is so tight and fancy . This is not me. This is not who I want to be . But again , what choice do I have ? I have no one left . Even Madame Giry and Meg are gone . I shed a tear. I felt so broken and used . Suddenly there's a knock on the door . I quickly wiped my tears away . Raoul Mother came in

" Quickly will you ? you have 30 minutes left . " then she left . She never liked me . Its so obvious . She hated me because I'm a singer and it's not proper to marry a vicomte . I rolled my eyes . God I have to deal with her for the rest of my life .

Then the wedding started . I walk down the aisle looking down trying my best not to cry , cry about Erik . Raoul's father agreed to walk with me as I had no one . Then I look up to see Raoul smiling so brightly . But I couldn't . I couldn't imagine my life with him . Will I ever love him ? Before , it was all puppy love . He was protective and caring and I thought I needed that kind of love but after the night I had with Erik , it is definitely not what I want . I want Erik . I just fake a smile and continue walking . We said our vows to each other. I know I don mean any of it and then he kiss me . His kiss was not like Erik's . I did not feel anything . Unlike Erik's it was soft and tender and I felt a fiery desire in me wanting his kiss more . Even his touch made me feel that way but not with Raoul . Raoul is different . It's rough and weird . I was force to kiss Raoul back .

After the wedding , we had a celebration. Raoul as usual fix himself a drink . I wasn't in the mood of celebrating so I just went to our room and sat on the chair . I look at the ring that is on my finger and felt like throwing it away . I stare into blank space thinking about Erik . Stop , Stop it Christine . He left you . He broke you , used you . Oh Erik .. why ? Why did you leave me like that ? Didn't I prove it enough yesterday ? That I love you ?

Then Raoul came in so drunk . I stand up and look at him . He walk sloppily towards me and he keep on falling . " Oh Christine.. " he touched my face seductively . I really hate the alcohol smell . He so drunk . I knew what he was trying to do but I really do not want to do it . Not after the night I had with Erik .. it still has an effect on me .. he was my first ..

Suddenly Raoul pulled me to his lips . His kiss is so rough and the way he touch me is so violent .Raoul was getting on my nerve because he was so drunk . So I pushed him .
" Christine ! " Raoul shouted . He grab me violently and then pushed me till I fell down to the floor . Oh god Raoul ... Then he felt dizzy and just lie down on the bed .

I cried so hard , regretting my decisions .. I had no one .. I thought I could depend on Raoul but I just get myself into something even worse . That night instead of laying down beside Raoul sleeping , I sat on the chair facing the window . Crying my heart out , softly so that Raoul wouldn't hear me . Raoul is so violent . I'm afraid of him .Oh Erik , my Erik . Please come back .. please save me .. How am I suppose to live without you my love ? I cried myself to sleep on the chair .