She belongs with me

29

{Caleb}

I haven't heard from Olivia in days. No texts, no calls, nothing. I guess she has chosen. She doesn't want to be with me. Maybe it's naive of me, but I really thought she cared for me. But I guess I'm stuck at being second best. I'm not good enough for Camila, and I'm not good enough for Olivia.

When I hear the doorbell I sigh deeply and get out of bed since my parents aren't home to open the door. I slowly walk down the stairs and it apparently takes me too long to open the door, since the doorbell rings again. Slightly irritated I open the door and when I see who is in front of me I forget how to breathe for a moment.

'Hey,' Olivia mumbles, biting her lip as she tucks a piece of her brown hair behind her ear.

'Hey,' I murmur. 'What are you doing here?'

'I missed you,' she whispers. Is she fucking kidding me right now?

'What do you expect from me?' I ask her. 'To tell you that I've missed you too? I'm not your little toy, Olivia.'

'You're not a-'

'You haven't said anything to me in days!' I interrupt her. 'You told me I'm not good enough for you. I thought you were tired of me? Why are you here then?'

'I... I'm not tired of you,' Olivia mumbles. 'Caleb, I...'

'Stop it,' I say, breathing deeply in and out. 'Stop playing games with me like this. You made it pretty clear that you want nothing to do with me the last time.' I want to close the door, but Olivia's foot prevents me from doing it.

'Please,' Olivia begs, tears forming in her eyes. 'I need you.'

'No, you don't!' I hiss. 'You don't need me. You don't give a shit about me. Don't act like you do. Just... Don't. I can't bare it to be treated like a piece of shit, again. I just can't.' I close my eyes and sigh deeply to stop my shaking hands.

'Let me prove to you you're not a game to me,' Olivia mumbles. 'Please, Caleb. I genuinely care about you, you know that. I'm sorry I got mad at you. I just have some problems, but I shouldn't have acted that way towards you.'

'Fine,' I mumble. 'If you truly care about me, tell me what's going on.' Olivia bites her lip and shakes her head.

'I... I can't,' she whispers.

'Then leave,' I murmur. I can't believe I'm actually doing this, but it's for the best. If she doesn't want to talk to me, this isn't going to work. Olivia looks shocked for a moment, her big blue eyes are staring full disbelief into mine.

'I can't go home,' Olivia slowly says.

'Go to Nora then.' I don't want to talk to her any longer. I can't control myself anymore.

'She isn't home,' she mumbles. 'I already tried.'

'Goddamn it, just get out!' I yell. 'It's not my fucking problem where you're staying, so don't make it mine!' Olivia stumbles back because of my harsh words, clearly taken aback. She nods and turns around before she walks away. She uses the sleeve of her jacket to wipe the tears from her face. I immediately feel bad. Was I too hard? When I realize her car isn't parked in the street I sigh before I quickly run up to her. I'd hate myself if anything happens to her.

'Olivia, wait,' I say as I grab her hand. She looks surprised to see me. But what's new? I don't have the heart to send a girl away.

'You can stay for the night,' I tell her. 'It's already late.'

'Are you sure?' I nod and lead her into my house.

'Do you want something to drink?' I ask Olivia once she's taken off her shoes.

'I'm good, thanks,' she mumbles. 'Aren't your parents home?'

'They're out for the weekend,' I explain before I take Olivia upstairs.

'Oh, where are they staying?'

'Olivia, stop,' I sigh. 'Just because I let you stay here for the night doesn't mean we're good.'

'Sorry.' We get into my room and I walk straight over to the closet to grab a hoodie. I hand it to Olivia and she smiles thankfully before she starts to undress herself. I clear my throat and look away from her almost naked body. I start to undress myself as well until I'm left in nothing but my boxers. I lie down on my bed and see that Olivia's just putting my hoodie on, letting me catch a glimpse from her body covered in a few pieces of white lace.

{Olivia}

I wrap my arms around my body and slowly look around. Am I supposed to climb in bed with him?

'Come,' Caleb says, tapping next to him. I get into the bed and lie down on my back. Every part of my body screams to touch him, in any  way. But I don't deserve it, I don't deserve him. Not after what I did. I don't even deserve to be here, but he still lets me anyway.

Caleb turns around so his back is facing me and I sigh softly. I don't blame him for acting this way, not at all. I know I've hurt him by not telling him what's wrong. But if I tell him what I did, it'll even hurt him more. It's better to keep him into the unknown, even if it drives us apart. I don't want to be the reason Caleb's heart breaks entirely, I just can't. I can't even look at myself in the mirror anymore. Every day I'm reminded what a terrible person I am. I even got into a huge fight with my mother because of what I did.

I don't know if I can ever forgive myself for what I did, let alone Caleb. The way I'm treating him is not fair, I know that. But I'm not playing a game with him. I hope he realizes that.