Book Reviews (CFCU - Sorry!!)

As I promise Review

As I promise by Iris-hope

Before you read this review I must admit I don't actually know who this fanfiction is about, like I don't know who Taekook/Taehyung etc is in real life, so if there was any references to the real life people in this which I didn't understand then sorry, I just don't want to turn anyone away, as we all need help when it comes to writing😅🥺

Overal review:
This book is a mix between fantasy and love, even possible broken promises? It's a story of rebirth. Where a wizard 'Joon Woon' is obssessed with power, he is an evil soul who will stop at nothing to get as he desires, from destroying love, happiness and afllicting pain and death to anyone who defys him. The Prince 'Taehyung' and his lover 'Junkook' must find a way back to one another, they must keep the promise they made. They must have there happily ever after, but will this be possible? When will the Prince even have time to savour his promise when a prophecy claims he shall be the one to end, to kill Joon Woong. A story filled with forsaken love and power. Read to discover this magical, cursed world.

Positives/What I enjoyed:
- I enjoyed/liked the covers for your story, whilst I know you didn't create them you still found someone who could. You found someone who could really capture what your story was about, making it much more appealing than if you had some random/ not as good cover.

- I personally like the gifs/photos midway through the chapters because it helps the reader understand the story better by giving them something to visualise whilst also giving a description about it. (Some may say this is unprofessional because you don't see it much in published books whilst this is true it is not always the case for example the book 'Miss periguines home for peculiar children' has photographs within it. Though as a tip I would only add the gifs/photos if you think absolutely necessary)

- I liked the way in which you wrote how the King was in shocked, by repeating the same words/sentances.

- I like the character 'Jungkook' I find his character rather interesting/ sweet.

- You have little description, which is better than no description. (see constructive critism for help with this)

Constructive critism:
- Add even more description, whilst you include description I think It still could be better. One way of doing this is diving in more into a certain object for example the 'blue dagger' you could dive into describing the dagger more for example "In his hands he grasped hold of a sharp dagger, that shone a bright blue, a blue that is blinding to the eye, no reflection can be seen from it, only the glow. Its strange how such a deadly weapon can be so memorizing and lovely." etc. You don't have to do this with every item/object/ scenario you come across but for each thing you do describe in a series for example if you were describing a room and you stated it had" red chairs, blue curtains and a sculpture" go in deeper and describe just one of those things for example the sculpture in more detail. This is so the reader has one clear thing that they can associate with that room or person or whatever it may be.
Do you see what I mean?

- Show instead of tell (explain more) what I mean by this is instead of just stating something, imply it. For example, you state the hooded man is 'scary' but you don't really develop this (so again describe more I suggest also stating how it makes your character feel, whilst you touch on this by saying is heart beat is 'fast' and he is 'sweating' even though its winter, I feel you can still go further. This is an example of what I mean by combining these two things,

"This man, who wears the dark, black hood is staggering towards me and though his face could not be seen the atmosphere around me felt familiar and dark, a vibe that makes my stomach twist and my heart beat at 20miles per hour, my body is in contrast as I feel my blood being cold but the sweat that runs down my head tells a different story. My nails dig deep within my hands - who was this creepy man,who playing with a blade makeing his way towards me?"

Do you see how this is similar but yet different and more effective than yours at the moment? If you still don't understand let me know and I'll try and explain another way.

- When starting the 'hooded man' give him other names, switch every now and then to names that are similar to what you are trying to say. For example at this moment he is known as the hooded man as he was a stranger therefore you could then name him 'The stranger' or/and 'The intruder' etc and just keep switching as it can be off putting the same thing being stated over and over. (This is just a suggestion)Also when the king tells them to "stop" and no one does instead of saying "but no one stopped" you could prehaps say "but no one listened" or "but they were all to mindless to hear what he had to say." It creates more meaningful words making the reader feel more connected to the story.

- Don't use "!!!!" whilst you did only do this in one chapter, it's still worth pointing out. If you are trying to create suspence/ excitement etc then you can do a series of things you can repeated words so instead of saying "Tae!!!!" you could go "Tae, Tae!" and then add description describing how he says the two "Taes" for example you could say they shouted the first one, and after a while sighed the next "Tae" once they realised he was gone (or whatever the situation may be.)

Another way you can make it more suspenseful etc is by asking questions and other things like "Tae!" I scream, a sudden wave of shocked is knocked within me as tears filled my eyes, how could this happen! Why did he move, why did he fall!

Do you see what I mean?

- Go back and re- read your book because at some points you have switched tenses and this can be quite distracting and confusing for example you put " Joong Woong in suddenly gets a shock"  should be ethier "Joong Woong suddenly got shocked" or "Joong Woong gets a sudden shock" etc. It just reads better.

Questions/suggestions:
- So first of I'm slightly confused by the book, what I mean by this is I'm confused what 'life' this story is, is it the first, second or third or all 3?
Another reason I think I'm getting confused is because your changing the Pov (point of view) of the characters each chapter or this is how it feels anyway...
If this is the case I would suggest putting who's Pov it is at the beginning of the chapter so If it is Junkooks Pov then put 'Junkooks pov' at the top (maybe in a bold font, so it stands out more)
Of course another reason for my confusion is the changing of tense but I've specified that above already.

- A suggestion I have ( it is completely up to you) Is to add a mole on the palm of the hand of each of the lovers 'Junkook' and 'Taehyung' (I think it is) because I read somewhere that if 2 people have the exact same mole in the same place in the palm of thier hands (the only difference is one is on the right and the other is on the left - so that they line up when hands are put together) that in their past life they promised one another to always be soul mates even in another life. Whilst this probally isn't true I think it would be a nice aspect to add to your story if you would like to, especially as your story has something to do with recargnation.

Overal thoughts:
Ok, first thing I would like to say is I hope I haven't offended/ been too harsh with this review. I am only trying to help/ make it the best book it can be, don't be over alarmed by how much constructive critism there is ethier, it only seems like so much because I went into detail. I think the book is good, of what I understood of it, I really got invested/ started enjoying it in chapter 3 when (spoiler alert) Junkook goes into the abysis and everything is green and different - it was quite a twist)
With lots of improving and editing I belive this story could be really great, especially as a fantasy book :)

Personal rate: 5.5
I put it this high mostly because of the story plot and I'm pretty certain it is around this rating if I understood it better.

I really hope you liked this review, and I hope that I did not upset you in anyway, I'm just being truthful and again want to help :)