Book Reviews (CFCU - Sorry!!)

Winning Over His Heart Review

Winning Over His Heart SunshineBandito

Overall Review:
This is a story based upon an elevator prompt. In which two people get stuck in an elevator and are the completely opposite of people besides having sinilar/the same kind of job. In fact the girl Laney is on her way to a job interview but fate had other plans for her. A story about romance and love so if that's your type of genre be sure to check out this book💕

Positives/What I enjoyed:
- I like how you still have description even though you have a photo. (some people have a photo in replacement of description, but you have not) I like this fact because readers like to read  (belive it or not😂) however I personally do also like images to help with the imagry.

- I like Laney's best friend, she has this outgoing/free persona about her which I think is a great personality for a character to have. I don't so much like Mr Mckanna, he just aggrivated me. I don't know why - he just seemed annoying. However this isn't a bad thing because I actually have emotions/opinions towards the character and they are easily recognisable. It's better for the reader to feel something towards a character whether it be hate, love, like emotion (whatever it may be) because otherwise if they felt nothing the character would just be there and the reader may even consider them boring and/or even useless to the plot because they can't really know what the character is like... It's like with those romances where the girl goes to hating to loving the 'bad boy' (let's say) within like 2 - 5 chapters... It just isn't realistic. You wouldn't go from "I hate you, leave me the hell alone!" to "Aw, I love you so so much, your my hero. Never leave me." within a couple of days/ chapters so yeah there is some advice for future books or prehaps future characters you may introduce - just make sure they have a persona that people will have a opinion about (like how you do now. If this makes sense also sorry for the rambling😅)

- Whilst I didn't read much of the book (I think about 3 or 4 chapters. I can't remember now🤦🏻‍♀️) I enjoyed what I read (story plot wise) and I feel that the storyline is heading in the right direction of being a good book💕
Oh I also liked how you got the inspiration from a prompt ☺️

Constructive Critism:
- My first point is something that I see quite alot when reviewing books and whilst you don't do it all the time you do do it at some points. The point I'm trying to make is you should show and not tell more often, because for example here you write "She suddenly realised how nervous she was." and therefore your telling the reader she is nervous.

What you could put to show that emotion of her being nervous is something like this,

"Suddenly, without warning a spell of dizziness is casted upon her, her heart beats faster, at what feels to be at a pace of 30miles per minute. Sweat has gathered in her hands and she is sure it's close to pouring down her face. She really hopes she can calm these sudden nerves of hers."

As you can see I used words/sentances to show the emotion of being nervous instead of just saying "she's nervous, "

I hope you can see/understand what I'm trying to say😅💕

- You don't need to put the 'point of view' (Pov) in your chapters. This is because you are writing in 3rd person therefore we know who feels what and who's percpective it is within the story because you use 'she/Laney/her' etc making it clear it's that character your talking about. You only really need to use 'point of views' when you are writing in first person because you would be using things like 'I/me/I'm' therefore we don't know who the (I) of the person is as there would be no names used unless there is dialogue and even then we may not know who is the teller of the story/ who's POV it is.