Book Reviews (CFCU - Sorry!!)

Lives Change Review

Lives Change By Jvweez

(Note from Owner of this book.Hi, just wanted to let you know this review was done by Angelwolf78 I hope this is ok, she is newish to this whole thing and she is trying. Hope u enjoy review from her. If you have any questions about it please pm her I'm sure she be happy to answer any questions :))

When I read this story there wasn't anything that caught my attention. A great story is in in the first sentence, the first sentence was thin "A crowd of students walked through the halls." I think it would be better if you changed the first line to something that would grab the readers attention by the throat. Or you could build up your fictional world and characters and then show them what the main plot is.

After reading the first 3 chapters I quickly found out that your writing style needs to be more descriptive, I don't get the feeling I'm within the story. When an author can make the reader feel that their in the story its a great talent. You could add some more description in the first paragraph.

You could describe the way the halls are, what type of building, the characters, the windows in the building, the clothes your characters are wearing and much more. That was just a few ideas that might help you.

The book feels too much like Harry Potter to me, I think if you built your fictional world a bit better then your readers could clearly see that this story isn't a fan fiction but an original story.

I kept thinking that this was a fanfiction, I would have loved if you showed us (the readers) the past of your world that you made. It would have made the story flow smoother.

I love the attitude that the male character has but his name isn't something that I can remember. If you describe your characters and include thier names, I think that your readers wouldn't be confused by who is talking. I love how you made the male have deep theatrical voice, it's easy to tell that he is talking.

It's hard to imagine the world that you are writing. I can't really tell what's going on, like what's the main problem in the story? Since you jumped back 4 years that made me worry about what you were doing.

I loved  what you had for the first chapter and I was expecting the second chapter to add on to the first chapter. Instead of jumping back 4 years you could have hinted at what happens or you could have started from the second chapter and end the book at the first. You could have also done this another way by jumping back a day or a week ago and then the lead up to what you wrote in your first chapter.

I can see you have the potential to be a great writer! All you need is the guidance. I hope my review helps you become better. Also I hope I havnt offended or upset you in anyway. I'm just trying to help you become better and to do that I must be truthful so you can develop in becoming the best writer you can be :)

(Another note from owner of book, it seems to me from reading this review the two big problems of your story is the description and organisation. To fix these are rather easy. For description as a big tip if you don't know what to describe is to focus on one thing and describe it in detail. And as for organisation you can usually figure it out by re reading. Also as another point it seems your story is a fantasy and thoes are in my opinion one of hardest books to write so don't be do disappointed.)