A Little Too Much

Part 4 : Captive of our own identity

The roaring beast in him was calm by now. Alex who was sitting in the front seat gave him a sly look, gesturing him that he shouldn't have been this rude with the lady. Ram gave him a darting look and shuffled sideways, not really interested in hearing another mouthful from his bodyguard.

Alex has been with his boss for 5 years and he knows that he's a gem of a person at heart but never shows it to other people, maybe that's how this world expects you to be. He smirked at the thought of the lady who stood unmoved under the menace of his boss when no one really dares to speak a word against him owing to his status quo. She was definitely one of her kind.

Ram was still staring outside unfocused as his thoughts still lingered on what transpired at the beach.

"You know I hate being disturbed this time. My mood was already bad, over and above that she started taunting me" Ram started rambling, trying to defend his uncalled action. In return, Alex nodded to the obvious, irritating Ram more.

"Fine, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have behaved that way" Ram spoke exasperated knowing he owed an apology.

"Sir you know you don't need to give me an explanation. But I even know you're not such a person so it's okay" Alex expressed softly knowing that his boss needed some comfort right now. Ram nodded in response and continued looking outside.

He was a man of few words. He never knew how to express his emotions freely but he always made sure nobody gets hurt because of this. He has paid the price once so promised himself never to repeat the same mistake ever.

His body stiffened and he fisted his palm strongly struggling to repress the pain which has yet not left his heart. He exhaled heavily fighting to control the already build up emotions as his mind hovered on the past.

Thankfully the sudden slamming of the brakes brought him back to reality. He adjusted his composure, once more ready to get into his disguise. He was back to being the man who owned billion dollars and had the power to sign a deal with just a click of his hands. No longer the one who will squeal at the sight of his favourite blueberry cheesecake and sing into the night of endless musings.

Alex opened the backseat door and chuckled softly seeing his boss, definitely a person who knows how to smartly camouflage his true being from the world.

Upon entering the house, Ram quickly traced his steps to his room, gesturing the butlers not to disturb him for a few hours.

He unbuttoned his coat and removed it from his body, finally some weight off done his shoulders. He walked towards the window while loosening up the tie, letting it hang around his neck like slumped down by his own agony.

Once and for all he wished he could be Ram and not 'The Ram Kapoor'.

He started staining the white pages by the black of his soul. He always found comfort in penning his thoughts into the diary. At least he got an outlet for his feelings when all you have been taught is not to feel too much, to quell it all inside for you're too much. Only his diary would know the difference between the victimized narratives and the unheard truths.

The last few lines read -

Sudden surge of unhappiness,
the never-ending wants;
why do I find myself spiralling around?

I see no turn back,
I see this desire so alluring;
why do I feel this way all over again?

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Parking her car, Priya jogged back to her flat. Time didn't seem to move fast, she still had some time to waste before she starts preparing dinner. Usually, she would stay back long at the beach only to return back at dinner time. After dinner, she'd engage herself in reading some book and doze off soon.