Secrets and Things (MxM)

Chapter 8 - Why did god bring me to this world?

NOTE:

- Back to italics for thoughts of the POV

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

POV: Nero

As soon as I saw Leonardo's side profile I clutched my head in pain, not only due to the hangover but from all the memories coming back in a storm. Oh well yeah, I remembered everything. INCLUDING THE MOMENT I TOLD MY FUCKING BOSS HE'S AN ASSHOLE AND TOLD HIM TO GET OFF HIS FUCKING HIGH HORSE! I froze in the most unclassiest and the most unsubtle way possible, right on the spot. I think Matthew said something about my demise being early but I couldn't process anything at that point in time. Everything in my body was trembling. My hands. My feet. My eyes. And I felt myself paling oh so fast and oh so white. Which cued my internal, mental breakdown in 3...2...1...

AHFEWLKFJNSDFNALJDSLNFL HOLY FUCKING SHIT OH MY GOD I'M GOING TO DIE. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME? MOTHER OF LORD KILL ME. KILL ME NOW. I NEED TO DIE. WHY DID I GO OUT YESTERDAY? WHY DID I DRINK, WHY DID I MOVE? WHY DIDN'T I KILL MYSELF WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE? I WAS MEANT TO NEVER GET THE ATTENTION ON ME LIKE EVER, ESPECIALLY FROM HIM. HE THOUGHT I WAS FLIRTING WITH HIM. WHY DIDN'T I JUST GO ALONG WITH THAT?

"Mr. Poston?"

MY EXISTENCE IS SHAMEFUL. I BRING SHAME TO MY FAMILY NAME. I AM SORRY FOR MY EXISTENCE GOD. I AM WORTHLESS. WHY DIDN'T I JUST FLIRT WITH HIM?

"Nerovsky???"

I CAN BET MY WORTHLESS LIFE AND MY BEST FRIEND'S USELESS LIFE THAT HE GETS HIT ON WHENEVER HE IS FUCKING FREE. HE'S USED TO THIS SHIT EVEN HIS BREATHING LOOKS HOT. HE'S JUST INHALING AND EXHALING AIR TO SURVIVE. I-"

"NEROVSKY POSTON!"

That broke me out of my reverie and soon, I was met with the eyes of my very concerned, soon-to-be-ex manager/boss. He noticed I've finally tapped into the real world and asked with a lot of concern,

"Are you ok? You just froze and paled snow-white as soon as you saw Mr. Covell. Did his beauty shock you that much? Do you need to go to first aid?"

I gave Matthew a blank look. The blankest of looks. I have lost everything except my pride. I have no reason to live or exist anymore. Actually, I'm going to move to Iceland and retire for life. Sounds like a good plan. Living with Alpacas and mountain goats.

"Oi Nerov-"

I'd cut off Matthew by putting my hands on his shoulder and with determination in my eyes, I told him very strongly,

"Mr. Williams. I'd like to hand in my resignation letter in now. I'm quitting my job now. Thank you for having me till now. It's been a great experience. I hope to use the skills learnt from the company elsewhere."

It was silent. Matthew was looking at me with puzzlement and surprise so I used the chance to straighten up, turn around 180 degrees and walk towards the elevator military/robotic style. Before I could take the second step, however, I felt a hard grip on my left hand, which spun me around and I was met with a semi-amused and semi-annoyed look.

"Now look. I have no idea what just happened in the last two minutes for you to complete flip and lose it but I am not losing my employee unless it's a valid reason and something tells me this is not a valid reason."

I shook my head vigorously and replied, "This is the most validest reason of all valid reasons. I cannot and will not go in there. I will not do that to myself. Going there will mentally fuck me up and cause major depression."