"Kylie, I n--" Before he can finish his sentence, I throw myself into his arms as I break down.
My father may not be my favourite person but it's really nice to see someone familiar. I really wish that my mother was here because I miss her a lot but if my dad is here, maybe he can take me out.
"Can I leave?" I look him in the eyes as I ask the question and his face falls. "Daddy please."
"Kylie, your treatment is not finished." Mr Jameel interrupts and I let out a wail.
It felt as if my worst nightmares were being brought to life. I wouldn't be surprised if I started giving the names of the people who molested when I was a child.
It must be the medication that's making me talk.
Maybe I need to stop taking them.
What would the terminator do?
"What are you doing here?" I ask my dad as I take my seat. He stays standing besides Mr Jameel who is writing down something on the paper.
"I received a report on your time and progress at this facility."
I furrow my brows at him, "How is this possible? My time here is confidential, I have opted not to have any of my information shared with family."
"Our case is a little different because Mr Jameel is my uncle."
---
I snap out of my thoughts as I push aside my time at rehab.
"I wanted us to have a conversation, red table talk style because we have issues to address." My mom says as she looks at my sister then at myself. "A lot of issues."
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"Ok." I place my hands on the table.
"I want for us to all be honest with one and another because our relationship is not what it used to be." My mother continues. "It used to be the three of us against the world. Growing up, we only had eachother but now we can't even stand the sight of one and another. Why is that?"
"We grew up." Zendaya answers with a shrug. "We finally saw eachother for who we really were."
"That's not fair." I purse my lips at her. "Our issues do not come from me, we've had issues all of our lives but we have pushed them to the side."
"Kylie, what do you think our issues are?" My mother asks me and I take a deep breath.
"Our issue stems from the fact that we never had a stable father figure." I tell her honestly. "We never had a male figure in our life who would guide us through everything which meant that you played both parts but the issue is that you ended up being more of a friend to me than a mother."
"I have my dad." Zendaya gives me the side eye.
"My dad left when I was young, our relationship was estranged. It took me going to rehab for the second time for us to be able to mend our relationship." I look at my mom. "I am about to be twenty three and I'm only now having a relationship with my father."
My mother's face drops and I think it's finally starting to click in her mind.
"Zendaya's dad may be amazing but he lives in Dubai." I look at my sister. "He is not here when you need him, physically. That doesn't discredit the fact that he is an amazing father but he is not here."
Silence falls in the room.
"Z?" My mom looks at my younger sister who looks like she is having an internal battle.
"She's right." Zendaya nods her head as she stares down at her hands. "He's here but he's not really here."
"Is that it?"
I wish, I tell myself as I look at my mother who looks so conflicted and it breaks my heart but she needs to hear the truth.
"You had us working from a young age." My voice cracks and I quickly clear my throat. "Even though we became successful from a young age, we never had a childhood."
"Don't say that." My mom lifts her hand up. "Don't you dare, you wanted this life so I gave you it."
"It doesn't matter." I slap my hand on the table. "You are my mother, you say no."
My chest begins to heave as my mind starts going all over the place.
"Why are you only complaining now?" She gives me a look of disbelief. "Over a decade later, it's now a problem."
I stand to my feet.
"I'm complaining now because I HAD MY VOICE STOLEN!" Tears fall from my eyes as I stare into her eyes. "I WAS FUCKING MOLESTED! THEY TOOK MY VOICE AND I NEEDED YOU TO PROTECT ME! You wasn't there, you was never there and some part of me hates you for that. You spent so much time trying to be my friend that you didn't realise that I was never ok."
Zendaya starts crying.
This is the first time that I have brought it up infront of her and I wish I never had to but she needs to know. The female in my family now need to understand why I am the way I am.
"What's worse is that you never asked..." A loud sob rips from my lips as I look at my mother who is crying. She stands up and walks over to my side of the table. "You never asked."
"I'm so sorry." My mother wraps her arms around me and we collapse to the floor. "I should have asked, I should have known."
I don't blame my mother for what happened to me.
I don't blame myself either.
I just wish things were different.
"I nee-needed you." My voice cracks as I cry in her arms. "That's all I wanted."
"Do you hate me?"
"I don't." I shake my head before wiping my tears away, "I hate myself."
"Kylie..." Zendaya bends down infront of me. "You need to release everything."
"I can't." My bottom lip trembles. "I never want to relive it again."
