"Kylie sit down." My dad tells me and for some reason, I do as I am told. "I have something to tell you."
"What?" I wrap my arms around myself.
"I know." I furrow my brows at him and he sighs, "I know about you being molested."
I feel my whole world collapsing at his words and the tears fall down my face as I stare at him. My parents finding about me being molested is not something that I ever wanted to put them through. I didn't want them feeling guilty for the fact that they couldn't protect their daughter.
"Dr Jameel is my cousin." He continues. "I knew that you were here and he pulled some strings. We broke confidentiality after he told me that you were molested on that show."
I watch as he stands there looking strong. Just as Dr Jameel goes to speak, my dad starts to shake and it's not long before he breaks down.
My eyes widen as he cries infront of me.
This just might be the first time that I have ever seen my father in this state. Sadly, I don't know how to comfort him so I don't. Mr Jameel pulls my father in for a hug as he cries and cries while I just watch.
The tears that were once falling down my face have now dried up as I watch my father cry. He may have been the worst father to me but he still has a small place in my heart and it hurts me to see him hurt.
"It's ok." My voice comes out as a whisper. "I'm ok."
"No, you're not." He shakes his head as he looks at me with a broken look on his face. "Oh Kylie, please forgive me."
He surprises me by getting down on his knees infront of me. His hands come up to form a prayer motion as he stares into my eyes which must appear to be expressionless because he lets out a wail.
"Please forgive me."
"Hassan." Dr Jameel sighs. "This is not the way."
"They touched my daughter." He slams his fist against the ground. "They touched my baby girl."
---
I ended up spending a further five months at the rehabilitation facility which was the best choice for me. Zion had been transferred to a different facility shortly after he told me and I attempted suicide in my room.
The facility took away my privileges which meant that I no longer had a mirror or makeup. I was transferred to a different room which felt like a prison and I had to speak to a psychiatrist everyday. I also had to attend group therapy and I was put on medication for two months.
The last three months were difficult but it was worth all the stress and tears because I was living my truth. I had finally opened up about everything and it lifted a big weight off my chest. I was able to talk freely with other patients who had experienced similar things.
Everyone in my family found about the molestation from my father. During my first family visit, they cried. They spent the two hours just crying and looking at me with pity in their eyes before repeating the same actions the following family visit. Nobody was going to grow or move on from just crying so I took them off my visitors list.
The only person that I allowed to visit me was my father. He would come twice a week to see me and listen to what I had to say. At first I didn't have much to say but I eventually started opening up to him once I started to accept my reality.
My father and I have been able to build a stable relationship. As happy as I am to have my father in my life, it's a shame that it had be like this.
October 18th, 2019
I am leaving the facility.
After much deliberation everyone decided that I was ready to be put back into the world. I was skeptical at first but after receiving a certificate from Dr Jameel, I was ready to leave and start living my truth.
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"Hey dad." I smile as I spot my father sitting in the car.
"Hey baby girl." He breathes as he steps out of the car, he pulls me in for a hug and my body tenses up for a moment. It takes me a moment but I finally wrap my arms around him and breathe in his scent.
This is the first time that I have let a member of my family touch since I was admitted to the facility
"Your hair looks different." He says as he takes in my appearance. "You look so happy."
"I am happy." My smile starts to fade. "Since I've been really good, one of the nurses got me box dye and we did some magic with my hair. Do you like it?"
He ruffles my head, "I love it."
I breathe a sigh of relief.
"You ready to go home?" He asks me.
"I'm ready."
---
"You look beautiful." My mom smiles as she pulls me into her arms. "I love your hair."
"Thanks mom." I kiss the side of her face.
I smile over at my father who is looking at us. I am well aware that he gave my mom and sister the rundown on what to and what not to say. I appreciate that because I don't want this moment to be about me, I want this to be about us reconnecting and becoming a family again.
"Hey squirt." Zendaya pinches my waist as she pulls me away from our mom to hug me.
"Thank you." I whisper in her ear and she squeezes my waist as a response. "I'm better now, I promise."
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"Where are you staying now?" My mom asks as we get settled in diner.
"I'm putting my home up for sale." My mom goes to protest but my dad shuts her down with a look. "I was hoping that you would be ok with me moving back in."
"Yay." Zendaya cheers as she pulls me in for a side hug.
"I would love that." My mom tells me as she reaches for my hand over the table. "I would love for you to come home, where you belong."
