Six of Crows Oneshots

On the ship

                                         ~  This is set on the ship on the way back from Fjerda ~

Even after they had left Fjerda behind Kaz was still scheming, planning, thinking. Standing at the hull of the Feroloind watching the waves roll and splash against the boat. How they had made it out alive was a miracle, dirtyhands may not believe in saints but he must admit to humouring the thought for a moment before logic set in. It was the courage of his crew, the dedication of the people on the ship. It was Kaz's planning and quick wit. It was-

"Nina needed the rest" Inej said softly. Kaz knew she was there before she spoke but chose not to acknowledge her presence, not wanting to have to explain, just wanting to be left with his thoughts.

"She needed to do something for me" he replied sharply.

"She had just done a great deal for you- you can't expect that kind of courage every day. Take it when it comes and the saints may favour you, don't push your luck and the dregs may favour you."

"They favour me because I keep them safe, because I give them somewhere to stay. Besides Nina was at her best, an opportunity not to be wasted." Kaz knew it wasn't what she wanted to hear but it was the truth and she was lucky to get that. Still his heart gave a soft pang as she walked away wishing maybe next time he would say that the right thing for her and for himself.

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Jesper stood on the side of the ship looking at the stars and feeling sick every time he heard Nina retch, every foul comment he heard her say. He wanted to help but what would he do? Annoy her with his restless ways? Fall into her word traps? Spill the bucket and rub her back when she yelled at him? No Matthias was there to do that. The big blonde Drüskelle had it as under control as it could be, he knew what to do and Nina trusted him.

He tried to focus his thoughts elsewhere. He wondered how the Merchling was feeling, scared worried? Maybe he was feeling satisfied. Maybe he was feeling just as sick as Jesper. That only made him think of Nina again so he focused his thoughts elsewhere. The shu boy, what was his deal? He had probably seen less murder than Wylan who had at least some experience in the barrel-even if it was limited, so the scene he just watched play out probably made him scared. Back at the thoughts he was trying to avoid.

Finally his thoughts settled on the stars. How he could name constellations from all the times he stargazed with his father on the open planes of the farm. He heard a retch. This was going to be a long night of overthinking.

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Matthias sat behind Nina, holding her hair back and whispering sweet nothings into her ear as she yelled at him. He couldn't begin to imagine her pain, what she had sacrificed so that they could all be there.

"You useless Drüskelle, you can't even do one thing right! You want to kill me don't you, you skiv" Nina hissed.

"You'll be okay, Nina sweet, just a few more hours" Matthias whispered back.

"Do you enjoy seeing me suffer!? Do you like me here on the floor, unable to protect myself?"

"No sweet, I'd rather you safe and healthy"

"Then give me parem- you know where it is. You have it. Give it to me!"

"I can't my little red bird. I can't"

Nina retched and vomited into the bucket, tears running down her face. Matthias longed to brush them away but he knew how much she'd like that right about now. Not a lot. So he settled for holding back her hair, rubbing her back and giving her all the comfort he could. He gave a silent prayer to his gods, to keep Nina safe.

—————-

That night no one on the boat slept a wink. None of them could stop thinking about Nina. The ice court. Parem. 

Wylan couldn't stop thinking about his fathers wrath, and Nina's sacrifice.

Jesper couldn't forget how he had started this mission on a bad note.

Inej couldn't forget how helpless Nina was, how cold Kaz was.

Matthias couldn't keep his mind off of Jarl Brum and his betrayal.

Kuwei wasn't going to stop thinking about the past hour for a long time.

And Kaz. Kaz was planning, scheming, anticipating Van Ecks next move. But somewhere in his broken heart he managed to find a scrap of sympathy for Nina, some respect and kindness. A flickering flame in the deep black that was enveloping it.

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Sorry if that was bad haha oops