Strength

Chapter One: Ash

I sit on the floor with my knees to my chest and arms wrapped around them. Looking out a glass window to which cannot be broken. Quiet footsteps clink down marble floors while mine are silent. My feet bare and cold with cracked heels.

I've been in Erudite for a few Days and its horrifying. Each day since I first came twice even three times a day I'm injected with a serum, a light blue one, that makes me fear ones I love.

Flame, Bella, J, Uriah, Lynn, Marlene, Natalie and even Tobias haunt my mind. Peter however I miss not at all. He traded me in.

I thought he loved me or even liked me when he never did. He hasn't come back so I assume someone found him. With my luck he's dead already but maybe not. I don't even know if the others lived or were shot.

Dauntless traitors still roam and I know I can't do anything to save the people and their lives which are being taken.

Jeanine is using me, simulating pain and fear into me to try to distract me from knowing she's trying to make a serum. I know it, I've seen her busily work with her lab crew while I'm carried out of the room in the arms of a stranger.

I've become weak and helpless. My body half the size it use to be. Whenever I change the shirt that hangs loosely around my body I can see my rib cage clearer and clearer each day. Jeanine knows nothing of my health status currently. I've become pale and shake a lot remembering the fear of each person.

I still have a knife that I hide under the mattress of the old bed I sleep on. A small one meant for throwing. Though I never attack anyone the only person whose blood is on the blade is my own.

I have scars forming on my arms, visible to anyone's eyes. I want to kill myself and forget all that has come but instead I can't bring myself to more than a gash in my arm.

The door creaks open and I continue to look out the window. The man here is giving me the food I'm suppose to eat but instead I only drink water and not eat. I'm never even hungry. Just tired.

I look closer out the window and in the distance see the people of Amity working in the fields. Probably smiling and singing with joy. Oh how I wish that was me in the sunlight dancing or skipping around. Or even back in the dark stingy place is dauntless call home.

The door closes and I sigh sadly and remember my mother the only person who is untouched by fear. Does she even miss me? Probably not. I want out of this dark place but can't bring my weak body to do so.

Instead I only stare out the window watching the people with smiles on their faces. I'll never be rescued from this prison so I try to enjoy others happiness.

What I'd give to see the outside world, feel the wind blow my hair back once more, a raindrop on my cheek. I wipe the small tear off my cheek. I bring myself to say;

"None of that Ash. Don't cry wishing you could have something you will never have again. Say goodbye to happiness and hello to sadness."........