all my heart || skz

014

"So, what now?" Hyunjin asked as we walk down the crowded streets of Genway, his hands buried in the pockets of his jeans.

I shrug, watching my feet drag on the ground with my every step. "If I'm gonna be honest, I could really use a drink."

"It was that bad, huh?" Hyunjin laughed lightly, the sound like music to my ears.

"Bad isn't the word I'd use. It was.... enlightening." We turn a corner and the apartment building slowly comes into view.

Hyunjin nods. "What did you guys talk about?"

I wave a finger back and forth at him. "Patient-Doctor confidentiality."

"Oh, come on! The Y/N I knew would have told me without a second thought."

"Well, the Y/N you knew had a younger brother and a stable mind-set, so..."

Hyunjin moved to stand in front of me. "I'm sorry."

I sigh and shove my hands into the pockets of my jeans. "It's fine, it's just that you need to realize that I'm not the same person I was a year ago."

Hyunjin sighed and offered me his elbow. "I'm guess I'm gonna have to get to know you, huh?"

"What are talking about?" I ask, slipping my arm in his.

"I want to get to know you, Y/N, and I want you to get to know me. No more pushing me away, no more moping around and feeling sorry for yourself." I roll my eyes and fight the urge to whisper profanities.

"You keep going on about how you're different, then tell me, show me who you are because I wanna know you, Y/N. I wanna know about Jisung-"

The sound of his name brought me to a halt, but Hyunjin was unbothered by the sudden action.

"-and I wanna know about Felix. I want to know your deepest secret. I want to know what your favorite food is and your favorite book." He turns to me, the sun enhancing the sparkles in his eyes, the same shine in them from two years ago.

And I realized that this is Hyunjin.

In the past two years, I have let the old me waste away without putting up a fight, but Hyunjin has not changed at all.

He's forever stuck with that sparkle; like the sun has put an eternity into those black eyes.

Even when he's forty and his perfect skin is fading, he'll smile and his eyes will smile, too. He will come home from work to a warm meal for his wife and he will swing his daughter around in the family room, even though he doesn't have the strength for it.

And he'll look over at his wife with his eyes full of a love so eternal.

I found myself wanting to be there to see that day and the one after and the one after that.

"Give me your hand." I say. I'm not surprised when Hyunjin hesitated in fulfilling my sudden demand. Nonetheless, his large hand found mine and I pulled him along behind me as I walked passed the rotting apartment building.

"Where are we going?" He didn't sound too concerned with the fact that I'm dragging him to an unknown location. He sounded more curious than anything.

"You said you wanted to get to know me, so that's what we're gonna do." I take a turn onto another street, the houses becoming more sparse and run down.

"Is this some elaborate plan to kill me?" Hyunjin speaks up after three minutes of silence.

I roll my eyes and let go of his hand, my skin instantly missing his touch. "If I wanted to kill I would have." I stare at my feet and watch as the concrete sidewalk slowly faded into grass and weeds.