all my heart || skz

002

It wasn't easy; sitting here and listening to the ring of my phone as I wait for him to pick up. And I, for the life of me, could not understand my desperate need to call him. He was the last person I wanted to talk to, let alone see. 

"Hello." He finally picks up and I immediately lose my voice. "Hello?" His voice sounds groggy and impatient. "I know you're there. If you're gonna wake me up, at least say something."

I close my eyes and release a shaky breath. "Jisung, it's me."

"Y/N?" I could tell by the tone of his voice that he had sobered up and I now had his full attention. "Why are you calling me at one in the morning? Is something wrong? What happened?" Hearing how worried he was, I couldn't find the courage to tell him. 

"Nothing. I just... I just needed to hear your voice." 

"I don't think you should be calling me at one in the morning when your boyfriend is laying in a hospital bed." He sounded disappointed.

I shake my head as if he could see me. "But I-I need to hear your voice."

"Y/N..." He sighs. "I should have never kissed you, if Felix found out, it would break his heart. Let's not hurt him anymore than we already are."

And with those few words, the tears began to fall. "Jisung, Felix is dead." My voice was barely a whisper and, when he didn't respond for a couple minutes, I thought he hadn't heard me at all. "Jisung?" 

"Yeah. I-Thanks for telling me." 

I let out a small hiccup and moved my hand to cover my mouth and collapsed onto my bed, not being able to support myself anymore. "I'm so sorry, Jisung. I'm so so sorry." My voice broke with every tear that fell.

"Don't you ever say that ever again." I froze, thinking he was angry at me. "You don't ever need to apologize, especially not to me." I let out a shaky sigh of relief. For what felt like forever, we stayed on the line, no one saying a word, but I could still here Jisung's silent sobs that he was trying so hard o hide. 

"Y/N, you still there?" He said, after a while, his voice shaking slightly.

"Yeah."

"Where are you?" I sat up and tucked a couple stray strands of hair behind my ear. 

"I'm at home, why?"

 "Can I come see you?" 

I should've said no. I should've said goodnight and hung up. I should've seen it coming from a mile away. 

But I didn't.

I was broken                                                 and alone.

And so was he. 

"Of course."