Married But...

Chapter 35

"your parents won't forgive me" I said.

"Wha-what are you talking about?" She asked. Her eyes widened and her eyebrows made a knot.

I rubbed my face in frustration. I cursed the fate for not making my life any easier. My heart was about to fall out of my chest. It was clear that all parts of my body wants to run away. But something inside me told to face it and finish it. I gathered the strength to force the words out of my mouth.

"When you came into my life... At first I resisted to let you in. I told my parents that I didn't want to get married. I didn't want to bring any girl into my life, when I was already in so much pain and guilt. But my parents forced me. And-and when you started talking to me, I got a hoped that maybe you can bring me out of this hell. Maybe I can move on and have a happy life.  But when I learned about your family, I didn't wanted to marry you and make things more complicated. That why I met-"

"What do you mean?" She said furrowing her eyebrows. She looked confused.

I tried once again to force the words out of my mouth with great difficulty. It was  going to change the way she looks at me.

"The car.... I crashed into.." I avoided eye contact. "It was your grand parents car" I said.

I slowly dared to look at her. At first she didnot react but when she understood, She gasped. Tears started to fill her eyes again. My heart started racing.

"And.... They died" she said slowly. My wounded heart got jabbed.

I present my lips tight. This was the part I always wanted to hide it from her. I got over Adhya and my breakup a year later but I couldn't get over the guilt of killing her and Anu's Grand parents. All these years I wished I could go back to past and prevent this all.

"I didn't-"

She interupted me "you-you killed my.. grand parents."  She said harshly. Hearing that felt like someone ripped my heart out.

"Anu please don't say that." I pleaded.

"They were coming to meet me Anand and you-"

"Don't say that" I begged.

She became silent lost in thoughts. She looked around as if searching for something. Tears rolling down her eyes. My headached and my vision got blurred due to tears. My hands shivering.

"I.. I can't believe this" she said shaking her head. "They loved me so much. And...  I married the person who killed them?"

Something broke in my chest. I could understand that she was lost in her own pain but her words worked like a dagger on my heart.

She looked back at me "I... I want to go back to my home" she cried. "I can't stay here"

"Anu.. Please" I begged

"I can't stay here. I.. I want divorce" she said.

It took what ever life I was left with.

"What are you saying?" I shouted. My legs became weak.

What is happening with me?

She took a step forward "I want divorce. However you don't love me do you?" She asked with bitterness.

I remained silent. I prayed God to stop this.. the pain in my chest became unbearable.

"Is that what you want?" I asked though I couldn't even bare that thought. I regretted immediately for asking that. I should have tried to convince her.

She didn't answer. I wished I was dead instead of letting her go. I didn't understand weather to console her or myself. I felt difficulty in breathing. With the heavy heart I left the home. Shutting the door tightly. Unaware of the destination. I felt lost.

Anu's POV

My head spinned by hearing all that. it was hard to process. When Anand left I locked myself in the room and cried for hours. What if my parents come to know about it? Will they forgive him? I knew he did that unintentionally but if he would have been much more careful then this would have not happened. I can't believe that accident took three lives! The more I thought about it, sitting in the room the more I understood what Anand have gone through. I cursed myself for acting so harshly. He needed me to comfort him that time but I did the opposite.

I regretted asking for divorce. That wasn't a solution. But I didn't know what I should do next.

This was the huge pain he had been carrying for years. I shut my eyes tight when I remembered the look on his face when I asked for a divorce. he was broken.

I tried to call him but his phone was switched off. In my mind I debated with myself. It was hard to accept the truth. I was okay with whatever had happened with Anand and Adhya but it is so difficult to accept what had happened to my grand parents.

Maybe that's why he kept pushing me all these days because he knew I would react like this. I slapped myself for not handling it with more maturity.

"I want him" I said to the empty room.

I felt drained. I had no energy left in me, no tears to shed no words to describe what my heart was going through. Every inch of my heart ached. I scolded myself for reacting so stupidly, for uttering those harsh words. I wished I could do something, to feel better to make Anand feel better.

I sat on the bed with dried tears, scanning the ring he gave me. It was so simple yet beautiful. It has the infinity symbol which I love. Looking at the phone I hoped he would call me back or come back home soon so that we could end it. I wanted to apologize.

Inhaling a long breath, I stood up to start cleaning the mess I have made out of anger. The first thing I did after standing up was to take the dupatta and pictures of Anand with Adhya carefully and placed it back where I found it. I wanted to ask if he had got over her then why was he keeping it with him, by doing this it will only remind him his past but I didn't get time to ask him any question. All these happened too soon. I was still having difficulty in beliving all that.  is he pranking on me?  This was the constant thought I had. I wished it was just a prank and not truth but I knew it wasn't.

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