MARSHMALLOWING OUR WAYS

CHAPTER 14: WESLEY

Cassie.
Cassie Burns.
She just fainted, like yeah it's a big deal but not that big a deal to make me cry. I don't cry. I really don't. The last time I cried, it was because I had hurt my knee real bad and that time I cried because of physical pain. I had never cried for somebody. I never cried because I was emotional or something. But, why did I today?
When I found her there on the ground, I didn't realise the feelings I was experiencing, but now? I am.
That whole time I was in hospital and all, I didn't realise what I was feeling. I thought it was fear but no. It wasn't. It was something much more.
Seeing her on the ground, I felt afraid and sad and anger and relieved. I was relieved that I found her on time. I was angry at the person who was responsible for this. I was sad that I left her here. I was afraid I may not see her again.
Sitting on the steps, waiting for her family, I was curious and curious and curious. I felt nothing else. I was curious as to what happened and why it happened and what may have happened had it not been for me. Those tears I had? They were a little late. They didn't display what I felt at the time like they are supposed to. No. They didn't.
At hospital, while she was still unconscious, I was impatient and confused. What is it that she is hiding from me? I know, I know that we are not that close for her to confide in me her darkest and ugliest secrets but I want to be. I want to be the one she confides her secrets to. I want to be the one she trusts. I want her to be the one knowing my secrets. I want her to be the only one who knows all my sides. Even the ones that can ruin me.
I want to be close to her, to be her closest and the most trustworthy friend.
It's clear she needs a friend like that.
Maybe I can become that friend.
It's funny how we met not so long ago and here I am drowning into a pool of worry for her. It's funny that I, the selfish Evans, is genuinely willing to help her. Really funny. Human emotions are really complex, really funny.

The next day Cassie shows up in black. I frown a little but quickly change it to a charming smile as she approaches me with a faint smile.
"Hey. What happened to the clothes we bought yesterday?"
"Oh. Those. Well I'm not wearing them and I maybe I'll never. Maybe I can refund those..."
"What? Why are you not gonna wear them? Is the size wrong or something? Cassie? "
"Huh? No. It's just...I don't want to..."
I sigh."Cassie. What is it? You know you can tell me right? "
"I-I...th-that...n-no. no. I can't. I can't tell you, Wesley. I-im sorry!"
After saying that, she abruptly stood up and sprinted out of the shop.
I stand there, completely in shock
I knew she was an unsolved mystery. A beautiful puzzle. An exotic enigma.
But I never believed it more than then.
I just stand there, motionless and think. Think and think and think. I drum my fingers a little on the counter so that my hands have something to do. Tap. Tap. Tap.
Yeah, I became her friend to solve her so that I can live in relief that nothing is unsolvable in this world.
But, I changed that. I didn't want to solve her for my pleasure, I lost that desire of power, I wanted to just solve her. No reason.
Yeah, I knew she's a puzzle but I thought I needed to solve her.
I was wrong there. I forgot she is a human. She has a human brain. Something that is the most complicated thing. I forgot she has emotions. Something that I thought are meant to be solved like equations, a formula here, a trick there, but again, I was wrong. Emotions are not to be solved they are just meant to be felt.
I thought I could solve her but no. She is indeed a mystery. But she is an exotic, beautiful, appealing and, the most important of all, unsolvable mystery.
She is exotic and rare and a diamond. She is the white diamond among us brown ones. She has a value. She is not something one can use and throw. She sticks to you till the moment you are dead.
She is beautiful and appealing and laughter. She is the real laughter. The laughter that is carefree and  full of love and fun. The laughter that brings tears of joy. The laughter that is earned. She is something you earn. Once you do that, you'll be happy or atleast peaceful no matter what.
At last. She is unsolvable. She is human. You can know her but not solve her. You can love or hate her but not solve her. She is unique and complicated.
I thought that if I had all the facts, I could solve anything and everything but I was wrong. Some things are meant to be a mystery and they can't be solved. That's why words like unsolvable exist.
I thought I'll help her if I solve her. But again, I was wrong. I can help her by only one way- by getting her out of her depressed shell. She doesn't belong in there. She belongs in the brighter world. I'll make her a part of that world again.
"Hey? Wes? Uh...Can we talk or something?", Cassie asks me.