Bad Boy Mahone

Chapter Forty "I've already given up."

Dedicated to DancerMorgan

Chapter Forty
(Part 1)

Chapter Song: Shattered - Trading Yesterday
(I recommend listening to this while reading the chapter.)

Elena's Point of View

I've been sitting in my car in the parking lot for about 10 minutes. I was to scared to go in and face him. I shouldn't be, he's my boyfriend. I took a deep breath and stepped out of my car. I locked my car before walking away.

I opened the door and searched the place for Austin. He was already sitting at a table scrolling through his phone. When I walked over he looked up and shoved his phone back into his pocket. I awkwardly sat down across from him.

"Hey." I said almost whispering.

"Hi."

We stared at each other awkwardly for a couple seconds but it seemed liked minutes. Why is everything so awkward between us?

"So are you going to even say a word to me?" I said with a little attitude. "I'm not talking to a fucking wall." I said, mocking him from when the first time we met and he said that to me.

"You deserve an explanation."

I slammed my hands down on the table. "Of course I deserve an explanation! You can't just treat me like dirt because you don't feel good." I crossed my arms against my chest, leaning back against the booth seat.

He licked his lips before speaking. "I can't have you get killed."

"Austin I understand that by now. Since the beginning that's all you've been saying to me."

"I know I treated you like shit. I know I did everything wrong. I do everything wrong. I treated you wrong, I say the wrong things, and I do the wrong things." He took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry for everything I've ever done. I never ment to hurt you and that's the one thing that I did. I failed."

I placed my hand on top of his. "I accept your apology, and you did not fail! I still want you in my life Austin." It was starting to get a little emotional between us. "We don't have to fight anymore. I have hope in us."

He moved his hand away from mine. "I'm sorry Elena," he sighed, "but you deserve better." He said before getting up from the table and walking out the door.

I got up and started to chase after him outside. I pushed the door open and saw him walking away. "What does that even mean?"

He stopped in his tracks and turned around. "You can't live a life with me."

I was shocked at his words. "Yes I can! I know it Austin, we can't give up on each other!"

"I've already given up a while ago."

I could feel my face get damp with the amount of tears falling down my face. "Stop trying to run away from me! If anything it's only going to make this worse." I said sniffling. "We can't lose each other."

"You need to be safe! Being with me means that you can die anywhere, anytime."

"All you have to do is kill him! Kill him! We'll be free after that, we can go back to normal."

"Normal?" He laughed. "Life isn't normal for me and it was never normal for us! We won't be free at all because I'm in this business and it's the same cycle. You will never be safe!"

"We made each other strong. I saw the change in you when I was around you. I helped you!"

"Everyone is telling me that!" He ran his fingers through his hair, tugging at the ends in anger and frustration. "You're to blind to see that I'm this bad person and I do bad things! I kill people and I enjoy it most of the time! Do you really want to be with someone like that?"

"Nothing is going to change how I feel about you. I fell in love with you Austin, and I'm so in love with you. I'm not going to leave you, but why is it that you want to leave me?"

"I can't be responsible for another death. Because of me my dad, Tyler, and Casey died! You're best friend Tyler died because of me! Nothing is going to be okay!"

"I lost my parents and Tyler in my life already! My mom and Tyler just this past year! I can't lose you too."

He walked up to me and started to stroke my hair. "There's no other way but to baby."

"No, you promised that you wouldn't leave me." I closed my eyes and a dozen more tears fell. "I've needed you from the beginning."

He cupped my face in his hands, caressing my cheek with his thumb. "I love you so much, and that's why I have to let you go."

"You can't-you can't do that to me!" I cried, my chest contracting.

He wiped my tears falling from my eyes with his thumb. "It's better if you move on from your life without me. Get a fresh start and get married to a better man, one who would treat you better more than I ever could. Have a family and live your life the way you should. I'm the one that's stopping you." The words left his lips and they hit me. It felt like a knife going through my heart.

"You're making me think that you never loved me! Did you ever even love me? Because I know if you did you sure as hell wouldn't be doing this!"

"Of course I loved you. All I thought about was you. It was always you. You understood everything, you always helped me, you made me fall in love for the first time, and there's so much more to say. I thought about us in the future, but always laughed because a future with you wouldn't work out. Nothing will ever work out in the end."

"Don't go. Please just don't go we can fix this! We can find a way out of the dark!" I cried, shaking my head.

"Goodbye Elena." He let go and turned his back against me.

"No!" I cried.

I fell the ground slowly. I pulled my legs to my chest and cried more than I ever have before. My throat was dry and it felt like I couldn't breathe.

I watched him walk away and slowly fade away into the dark.

I was here by myself again, alone again. I'm back to where I started. All I'll ever be in my life is alone and watch the people I love slip away from my life in front of my eyes.

//

I am so so so sorry & this got me emotional.

Comment your thoughts :(