That same afternoon we walk out of the door after Phil wishes us fun and to the car parked outside. Like always, Dan makes sure to open my door for me.
The ride is quite long because of the typical London traffic and the whole way there all we do is listen to the radio without talking a word. I am tired and he is stressed. I can practically see fumes coming out of his ears, that's how badly he wants to start the topic of the pregnancy again.
Don't get me wrong, of course I am over the moon and excited for this new chapter in our life. But it seems like that's the only topic we talk about and the conversations always end in Dan overthinking and overplaning everything to the point of completely freaking me out.
"So...", I begin, but soon realize that I don't really have anything to talk about.
"Hm?", he asks and looks at me.
"Nothing, nevermind."
"You alright?"
"Yes, I just, um, wanted to talk but I don't know what about really."
He sighs: "Yeah..."
So I take out my phone and check out my messages.
Zoe: Hey girly, how are you? Want to come round mine today?
Quickly, I look up at Dan. We try to make Friday's our date nights without phones or any other distractions but if I'm being honest, I'd love to have some time with Zoe since we haven't seen each other in a while.
"Babe?", I carefully ask.
"Hm?", he replies again.
"I know it's Friday but would you mind if I go to Zoe's?"
"No, go.", Dan says, eyes on the road.
I sigh: "Promise you're not mad if I go?"
"No. Literally go. Our date nights always go the same way anyway."
"Huh?", I now exclaim, a little offended.
He looks over at me: "Oh you know. Always starts in our room, trying to figure out where to go and we end up staying in. Order food, watch a movie, fuck and then go to sleep eventually."
My mouth drops: "Wow Dan, really?"
"What? You can't tell me it doesn't go that way every single time."
"I guess but I didn't know you mind so much. If you do why don't you suggest something different for once?"
"Just for you to decline my idea?"
I run the radio down: "Why are you being so defensive?"
"I am not, just saying."
"Babe, I didn't know you mind this much, we can do something different today? I'm not gonna decline your ideas, why do you think that?"
We arrive at the gynecologist and he parks the car: "Can we talk about this later?"
"No let's talk about it now."
He sighs: "Honestly I feel like I can't be one hundred percent me with you recently. You say I stress you out and that's truly...", he takes my hand, "... the last thing I want, really. So I don't know what to say to you something because I'm scared to annoy you."
Suddenly, I feel bad: "Dan the only thing that stresses me out is when you get overly stressed over the pregnancy. That's the only thing. I'm serious, you don't have to feel like you can't be yourself around me, that makes me sad. I love every single tiny bit of you, I am just scared."
He presses his lips together: "Deep down I know you're right. I just don't want to fuck anything up. I'm sorry."
"Don't be sorry. I apologize if I made you feel guilty. Can we promise to just communicate better?", I hold my ring finger.
"Promise."
And with that being said, we make our way to the office, hand in hand.
Right before the reception, I pull on his arm to stop him: "Dan we can't go in."
He laughs: "What? Why?"
I look right up at him until he stares back: "Don't be too obvious, but look into the waiting room. Just look who is sitting there."
