believe me || Bradley Simpson. The Vamps

Chapter 40

When he finally opened the door. I lifted my gaze to James when I met two dark eyes full of sadness. My heart skipped a beat. One minute I felt even guilty and started regretting everything. His eyes had lost all the intensity from the blue area, his face was tired and sad, looking like he hadn't slept for days. He looked at me as asking what I'm doing here but at this point I wasn't sure why I actually came.

"I probably should have called before coming."

"It's okay." James shrugs looking at his shoes. "Do you want to come in?"

"Yes, thanks." I simply say and walk in. Few weeks ago his flats was like a home to me.

I haven't known many loves, but I've gotten close to enough people to know it still always sucks to leave. To care until you don't. Or care until you can't. Or care so much that you just have to stop altogether.

Looking into James flat, which seems empty now I realize that home s not a place. Home is wherever the people who love you are. Home is people not a place. 

"I shouldn't called you that night." James mumbles. "I shouldn't acted like that."

"Its fine."

"No, I know I was wrong not trusting you but I was just so obsessed that you will find someone better than me." he explains. "I know I ruined everything but I wish I could turn back time the way it used to be before it all."

"I know, me too." I finally admit looking into his eyes. "I came to talk and to pick my stuff."

"Talk about what?" by his look I can tell he is disappointed.

"I really do think we shouldn't be together. I'm sorry, James."

"Why?"

"Because this isn't working and you know that. I can't stop comparing everything and you can't trust me. Relationship can't work without trust and dedication."

"But I love you, Zoe." He comes closer to me and cups my face with his warm hands.

"I know and I love you too James, but its not enough. Love isn't enough sometimes."

All movies say that love is everything but life isn't a movie and love sometimes isn't enough.

"You love him more?" he asks quietly looking into my eyes as he is searching for a hope.

"I don't know. I really don't. I just feel different around him." I admit. Of course I like Brad but do I really have that strong feeling for him as love?

"Please don't let me go." he whispers.

I close my eyes trying to stop tears.

"James, I'm sorry."

"Please, Zoe."

"Trust me it will be better for both of us. We are not right for each other." James just laughs at my words.

"I really love you why you can't just see it?" he shakes his head looking at ceiling.

"Because it's not real. You see me as your first girlfriend as your first love but it's not real. Its not real." I repeat. "Things change and people change, life doesn't stop for anybody. It was stupid to think that this whole think could work." James just shakes his head biting his lip. "Something is always tearing us apart."

"Just remember I love you. I will wait."

"No, promise you will move on, okay?" I put my hands on his shoulders. "James, please."

"I can't."

"You can." I smile at his pushing his hair back. "You can, James."

"I will always love you, Zoe." He whispers stepping closer so now his lips is touching my forehead.

"You will find someone." I say wrapping my hands around his torso.

"Don't leave, you belong here with me." I hear him whisper before I feel tear falling down my face.

~~~

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