your shelby marx!?!

bodily image

What is society beauty and body standards?

All through highschool I've been meaning to find the answer to that same question that plays on repeat in my mind. As i was growing I tried being what I wasn't, I tried multiple beauty products, tried out all the ways to get slimmer but in the end it all caused me to have major insecurities about myself in the making. I came to the conclusion that Theres three stages in life that gets to growing teens like myself have second thoughts about theyre well being. Firstly theres elemetary school, where kids bully and tease one another for the simpkrst things. Seems innocent enought right? "It's just kids being kids" as the parents and teachers would say but oh where they in for a treat during the next two stages. Now ya see back than it was just a thing to do, somwthing to distract you from boredom. Unfortunately I was one of those kids who had just so happen to be someone's target of an distraction. I vividly remember this boy who was practically my age and same height as me, maybe even a centimeter taller. He was the quote on quote bad kid in my school grounds. He would pick on me, calling me all sorts of names. Tell others that I'm the ugliest of them all, had cooties. Ya know the usual for 7year old me. It even got to the point of physical harming me, the boys who would join in on the fun would push me on the playground dirty floor, one even punched me in my guts once. It was so painful it literally sent me flying onto my bum in a matter of seconds. But luckily I moved away from all of those nasty people after telling my parents about what was happening in school and lived a somewhat ok life afterwards. Now onto stage 2: middle school. Now that's when it turns slightly downhill. Kids growing into pre teens/ teens. Already hitting puperty or some late bloomers, doesnt matter right? Wrong. That by itself meant that your becoming a woman and that was the hype people went on about during that time period. Appearnelty it's the stage where you grow into womanhood or whatnot. Personally I didn't care about that so much since it wasn't a big deal to me. I went with the flow I suppose. I didn't bother anyone during that timeframe. I was a weird quiet kid, just trying to get through the day so I could get home and sleep, awaiting another day to return back to school. There was this one incident where I was sitting in the cafeteria, just enjoying my surpringly good school lunch until people from my gym class approached me. I didn't say anything of course since I had nothing to say to the folks coming up to my table. Out of nowhere this one boy from the group pointed out how  fat I was, how ugly I looked and how stupid everyone supposedly thought I was when they haven't even met me before. So that's the point where my low self esteem come in! Yay right? So fun. I remember I would go home, run to my bedroom and just cry and cry until I fell asleep. People could be so cruel in this world and not feel a thing for the other who's secretly suffering without they're knowledge. I think people doesn't understand how much they're words can impact someone negatively. It tears a whole into the person heart and soul. It tears it down until there's nothing more in there besides an empty shell for a different owner to take care of it. Words can heart badly, very bad but what could ya Do? Just kids being kids ya know. And finally stage number 3! Finally made it to the last stage of life! Congrats! Now this one wasn't that tough for me. This level is called the highschool phase: dun dun dun! Highschool wasn't that hard for myself, really it wasn't. Yes I would get side comments about my features but at this point it's all blurred out when walking the halls. Literally. I would have ear buds in to drown everyone out since it's high school! Phones are allowed but obviously not during class, whatcha think I am? A rule breaker! Never. Shame on you for thinking such things on poor ole little me. I've grown to accept how I am now though but I wouldn't have done that without the help of my friends and family who stuck with me, Oh! And my teachers as well. Those people were my rock every single day I tell Ya. Self love is amazing once you find it within yourself. It's so awesome having it too, I'm way more confident in myself than I was in elemtary and middle school. Now that I know how to block out the haters and just enjoy life I'm cruising through it like a breeze. Self lovin is a thing but it takes a while to achieve it. Keep striving forward, don't listen to others, and just be you! :)
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Hiya folks! Soooo how'd you like it? Pfft it seems sad but it's only a draft essay for some colleges. How would you rate it from 1-10? Any improvements I need to do? What's wrong with this essay? How could i shorten this? Cmon Gimme y'all opinions! XD also happy Halloween!!!