scarlet's critique shop

✅ One last wish

Author: mariiiaaaa__

book cover:

Your book cover's fine. I love the picture you used in the background but it doesn't match the font and the color you used.

Title:

The title says it all but the thing is-your readers must be curious about it.

It's about her "one last wish" pero mapapatanong ka rin ng, "bakit gano'n?" "ano bang nangyari?" "anong wish siya?" and so on.

Synopsis:

You better put a synopsis though. Kahit isang sentence pa 'yan. Synopsis is important. If it catches a reader's attention, malamang babasahin niya 'yan. Pa'no niya magugustuhan agad kung walang synopsis?

writing style:

No'ng una, na-corny-han talaga ako. Kasi you used deep tagalog tapos biglang may halo palang english. hindi lang bagay.

But as time goes by naman, natuwa na rin ako. Naisip ko na baka gano'n lang talaga 'yung gusto mong way. And if that's your unique way to write, push lang.

Okay din sa punctuation tyaka sa capitalization.

Narration:

Siguro habaan mo lang nang slight kada chapter, for me kasi, parang sobrang iksi.

Okay naman 'yung narration. But again, ang conyo at corny basahin kapag pinaghalo mo 'yung deep tagalog sa english.

Characterization:

Wala pa ako masyadong say dito kasi onti palang 'yung chapters.

But it's good to know na 'yung protagonist ay mabait, matulungin. Parang ang inosente niya.

'Yung dalawang greek god and goddess na pinakilala, Poseidon and Artemis, bet ko 'yung personality. I love greek mythology kaya nai-imagine ko talaga siya.

For other characters na darating palang and the first three characters, I hope magkaro'n ng character development.

Overall comment:

Masaya basahin, funny sila-hindi lang si protagonist, pati 'yung extra/s, kung extra man sila. Interesting.

rating:

6/10

suggestion:

Bawas conyo na, please.

Pahabain kada chapter. 'Wag maiksi, 'wag sobrang haba.

Lastly, stick to your plot and plans. Take down notes about everything. Para hindi magulo 'yung story.

Let me know if I helped you. Please leave a vote. Thank you and stay safe! good luck, luv. keep writing.