scarlet's critique shop

✅ Haters to lovers

author: rhenesymarie

Book cover:

I love the book cover! The font and the colors matches the background picture.

Title:

The title says it all. They hate each other then suddenly became lovers after a short/long period of time.

Synopsis:

You wrote the most important thing in the synopsis.

Synopsis should make your readers curious. They should feel like they wanted to read your story because the synopsis is good. But it feels like the whole story was already told in the synopsis. Pa'no nila babasahin kung alam na nila agad 'yung mangyayari?

Writing style:

I can't agree with your writing style. Check the grammar/s. Check the spelling/s. Use words correctly. Mag research ka.

Know when to use "nang" at "ng". "rin" "din" "daw" "raw".

Kapag may kausap sa telepono, don't use parenthesis and colon. Use quotation mark/s instead.

Don't use a lot of punctuation marks sa iisang sentence. For example, "ha???". pangit tignan. Lagyan mo na lang ng expression before or after ng dialogue. ("ha?" gulat na tanong nito.) ganiyan ba.

Narration:

Magulo ang narration. 'di ko ma-gets 'yung iba. Tapos 'yung ibang scenes, paulit-ulit lang. 'yung mga sinabi ng protagonist sa first part, when the girl' s arguing with her father, 'yon paulit-ulit. And then 'yung fight na nangyari sa palengke. Hindi ko rin ma-gets. Nagtalo lang over something na hindi naman big deal tapos biglang nahantong sa physical fight. Paki ayos, please.

And another thing, 'wag masyadong mahaba kada chapter. Kung balak mong habaan, siguraduhin mo na hindi mabo-bored ang readers mo. Lagyan mo ng different scenes sa isang chapter, pasabog, or whatever.

Characterization:

All the characters are toxic. But I hope, habang tumatagal 'yung story, may character development. Importante 'yan.

Overall comment:

Hindi pa gano'n kaayos. Alam kong on-going 'yung story, pero sana as much as possible, kapag ginagawa mo na 'yung mismong chapter, paki ayos na agad. Para hindi ka na rin mahirapan i-edit kapag tapos na 'yung buong story.

Rating:

5/10

Suggestion:

Pinasok mo ang pagiging writer/author, ibigsabihin ginusto/gusto mo 'yan. Kung gano'n, mag research ka. Research lang nang research. Kaya mo 'yan, promise.

Repitition. Don't repeat words that much. Again, research is the key. Search for other words para hindi paulit-ulit 'yung ginagamit mo.

Onti palang ang chapters ng book mo. Quarantine ngayon. More free time. Please, paki-edit mo muna. Nababahala talaga ako sa way ng pagsusulat mo.

Paki ayos din ang typographical and grammatical errors. Pati dialogue tags. Lahat 'yan importante.

Lastly, stick to your plot and plans. Take down notes about everything. Para hindi magulo 'yung story.

Let me know if I helped you. Please leave a vote. Thank you and stay safe! good luck, luv. keep writing.