Caroline's Cries

Chapter 6

Jake's POV

Caroline. 

Upon hearing her name I got a burst of butterflies in my stomach. My heart filled with warmth and happiness and a bubbly feeling. She brought me joy and peace. I never wanted that feeling to ever go away. 

Do you know what the name Caroline means? It means a free, beautiful woman. And that was exactly what she was. She was free, she was one with nature and one with herself, and she was the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Not just externally, but internally as well. Her compassion for others and her love for pretty much everything was so beautiful. She was her own person. She was unique, she was kind, she was loving. 

I have never in my entire life met another girl like her. She was different, in a good way though. 

I first saw her at the doctor's office when I was 12. She walked in and my world stopped. At first I thought she was a little weird, wearing that bright dress and all, but then she turned around and I allowed myself to give into her green eyes. I knew my life would never be the same after that. 

I've never been the romantic type. When my parent's watched their cheesy rom-com movies I would always look away and gag. I never imagined myself falling head over heels for a girl like the guys in the movies did. But I fell for one even better.

After the doctor's appointment I would have dreams of her. We would run bare-foot in a field full of yellow butterflies that matched her yellow dress. She would look at me with her rosey pink cheeks and smile, and I would grab her hand and we would continue skipping down the field as the birds chirped in the trees above us. 

It all seemed silly to me, I didn't  know her name yet I was in love. All my bro friends would try to hook me up with other girls but none of them were like her. None of them were her. 

What an amazing and rare coincidence, bumping into her at Target and then finding out she's going to the same school as me. That doesn't happen often, like at all. I knew at that moment it was special, maybe even fate.

I never liked being at my own house, my dad was an alcoholic and would occasionally get aggressive with us. That led to tons of fights between my parents, my mom wanting him to quit but him refusing to. My house was filled with tension, but Caroline broke the tension whenever I was with her. I don't know, it felt peaceful with her. It was an awesome escape. 

I've known her for a couple months now, and today was Valentines Day. I bought her her favorite flowers and was going to drive to her house to ask her out, then we were going to have a nightly picnic under the stars, just what she likes. 

Driving to her house, flowers hidden in the backseat, I reflected on her and I. Our days together were mostly spent outside, where we hiked together and fed squirrels peanuts. We hung out almost every day, baking cookies, watching movies, putting together puzzles and everything in between. 

I loved her. I knew she was placed in my life for a reason, and a part of me was positive she loved me back. So I was going to make my move. 

I arrived to her house and stepped out of my car, hiding the flowers behind my back as I slowly walked up to her door. I took a deep breath in and rang the doorbell. She waited a bit and then opened the door cautiously. She looked depressed. 

"Happy Valentine's Day, Caroline." I smiled.

She gave me a weak smile back and I handed her the flowers in an attempt to cheer her up. 

"Thanks." She said meakly. 

Uh oh, did I do something wrong? 

She took a deep breath in and a deep breath out until she said, "Jake you need to come inside. We need to talk." 

"That's actually why I'm here." I said. 

She grabbed my hand softly and pulled me inside. I sat down on her dark red couch. She sat down on the rug and looked up at me before saying "You first." 

I cleared my throat before I confessed my true feelings; "Caroline, you mean everything to me. You bring me happiness, and comfort, and you're funny, and you're beautiful and-" 

She looked serious. 

"And I would be honored to call you my girlfriend." I blurted out. 

She covered her mouth with her hands and tears welled in her eyes before they poured out onto her cheeks. 

"Hey," I said, reaching down to hug her, "It's alright." 

"No it's not." She pulled away and shook her head. 

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"Jake," She looked up at me and wiped her eyes, "I'm dying." 

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She told me everything, what the doctor said, how long she had, how scared she was, and I was speechless. We cried together for a bit and I held her in my arms. 

FInally she wiped her eyes again, "I couldn't do that to you Jake. You deserve better. You don't deserve me, it'd just make it harder on both of us when I'm gone." 

I hugged her tighter, scared of losing her. 

"I love you Caroline." I whispered. 

"I love you too." 

"I love you and I want to spend every last second with you." I whispered again. 

She grabbed my hand, "Do you still want to date me?" 

"Now more than ever." I said as I squeezed her hand back. 

She smiled and we sat there, a big ball of tears and emotions. 

Eventually we finally got up and drove to a hill, where we had the nightly picnic. I looked at her, her face illuminating in the starlight. She was perfect. And I was gonna lose her. 

I was honored that such an incredible person wanted to go out with me. But now, we only have 4 months, and we have to make every single second count.  

Now she was not only my girlfriend, but my best friend. I was determined to make her last months the best months shes ever lived.