Caroline's Cries

Chapter 12

Caroline's POV

Holding back tears in my room, I came to a depressing realization. 

I was alone. 

I haven't really put any time aside for Amanda or Sarah, I had been so caught up in Jake. Jake was my best friend, the only guy I would ever dare to chase after. Heck, if I were in a room with all the attractive young gentlemen in the world, I'd choose him. But as much as a girl longs for a Jake in their lives, they also need to long for an Amanda and Sarah. 

I remembered a saying my mom said when I told her about me, Sarah, and Amanda drifting apart. She said "Boyfriends may come and go, but true girl friends last forever." Boy, was I letting that quote slip through my fingers. 

I contemplated texting them just to say "Hi!" and see if they miss me as much as I miss them. But I realized that would be kind of startling to send that out of the blue. I would try to catch up with them tomorrow at school. 

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Later on that school day, I headed over to my locker to grab my lunch so I could try to squeeze into a spot next to Amanda and Sarah in the cafeteria. But, I noticed Jake was there, and he was looking directly at me. I whirled around right away; I could pay for my lunch. 

I didn't spot Sarah in the swarm of high schoolers during lunch, but I did spot Amanda. 

"Amanda!" I shouted and waved over.

Amanda spun around and waved at me, ushering for me to come over. I made my way over and sat down next to her, smiling. She didn't seem to be smiling at me and was looking down at her salad. 

"How have you been?" I asked, interrupting the silence. 

"I've been okay." She said while taking a big swallow of her meal. 

"I've missed you!" 

"Are you sure you aren't just missing me because you and Jake broke up?" 

"What? No!" I answered truthfully. I really did miss our friendship, but my recent breakup made me come to that realization faster. 

"Sure."

"Where's Sarah?" I asked while looking around. 

"Sitting with her boyfriend. You guys left me all alone once you found boyfriends." 

Her voice didn't remind me of the usual peppy Amanda I used to know.

"Can we talk?" She whispered. 

I nodded and she whispered again, "Meet you in the bathroom." 

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"I'm lonely, Caroline." She said once we were completely alone in the girls' bathroom. 

"Oh, Amanda, you aren't lonely." I answered as softly as possible.

"Yes I am, as soon as you guys got boyfriends you left! And you can't deny that. And once you guys broke up you come back." 

Oh my gosh, I felt so horrible. I had no idea my absence in our friendship had made such a dent in her heart. Would it have killed me to just reach out?

"Amanda, you are such a sweet friend. I'm so sorry." 

"And now Sarah isn't even talking to me. She's always on dates with Jeff." She sobbed. 

"Jeff? That's a dumb name." I laughed.

She laughed too and I breathed a small sigh of relief for bringing humor into the situation. 

"Well, you and I are going to have fun now. It'll be just the two of us." I grinned.

"Promise?" 

"I promise." 

"There's a... a prom coming up in a couple months. Do you want to get ready for it together?" She offered while wiping away her tears on her sweatshirt's sleeve. 

"Of course! And we can do whatever you want. We'll have tons of girls days." 

She smiled before saying "Now give me the scoop on you and Jakes' breakup." 

I filled her in on everything. As we were walking out of the bathroom, she suddenly grabbed my arm and pulled me behind a wall. 

"What are you doing?" I said, startled. 

She pointed towards my locker. What I saw made my heart drop into my stomach. It was Jake standing with Sasha. She was too close to him and whispering something in his ear, which made him laugh. The kind of laugh he laughed when he was around me. 

Sasha grabbed his shoulder and ran her super long fingernails across it. 

"I got to get to class." He mouthed to her. She said something else, I couldn't make out what it was because her back was turned to us but he was smiling. Beaming even. And laughing. His eyes shone with happiness, clearly whatever Sasha was telling him he found super humorous. 

"He leaves me for HER?" I blurted out. 

Amanda whispered "I'm so sorry." 

Finally, Sasha giggled and Jake walked away from her, still smiling to himself. Sasha sashayed over to Bianca and started whispering about something with her. 

"I can't believe he moved on so fast!" I remarked. 

"What a jerk." Amanda added. 

I nodded in agreement. Jerk indeed! He was so concered about me, my health, and my future with him. And then he turns around and starts catching feelings for Sasha. 

Was everything he said to me one giant lie? Did he even care for me at all? He told me one time that he felt like I was "the one" for him. He told me that he knew it since we first exchanged eye contact at the doctor's office. But if I were truly "the one" for him, he wouldn't be all giggly with Sasha (who by the way, is like Bianca but worse) one week after our breakup. This guy is ridiculous! 

"He seemed so serious about our relationship, but if he were so serious then he wouldn't be moving on this quickly." I vented to Amanda. 

"Exactly."

I'm starting to believe that he never even cared about our breakup. Or our relationship. He probably went home after we broke up to tell Sasha he was available. 

Well Sasha, sweetheart, you can have him. 

My tears, remorse, and sadness turned into pure anger. I was over him.