Caroline's Cries

Chapter 18

Caroline's POV

I could feel myself getting weaker while my mom and I packed my bag for the hospital. Of course, I wasn't bringing that much. I didn't have enough energy to do my hair or makeup or even put on my wigs. Just a toothbrush, toothpaste, and pictures of me, my friends, and my family. Things I wanted to pass with. 

Polly came in and noticed me and my mom frowning as we were packing. 

"Where are you guys going?" She asked. 

"I'm going on a trip," I replied. 

"That doesn't seem like a lot of stuff if you're going on a trip." 

"Well," I continued while putting down the pictures I was holding, "Where I'm going you don't need a lot of stuff." 

"When will you be back? Are you going to France?" 

"I'll always be here, Polly. You just won't get to see me as a person." 

"So every night you can still read me a bedtime story?" 

"Yes," I smiled, "And I will be with you every step of your life. When you're going to school, on your first date, graduating, getting married, having kids, everything." 

"Soo... you'll be a guardian angel?" 

"Yes, I will be your guardian angel." 

"Thats so cool!" She squealed, "When are you leaving for your trip?" 

"Today, I'm afraid. I just have to say some more goodbyes." 

"Oh, okay." She said as she skipped out of the room. 

I finished putting the pictures in my bag, hugged my mom, and went outside. 

I stared at the house that I've been in since I was born. The very house that my mom and dad birthed me in. I stared up at the mountain, smiling to myself as I remembered the day that Jake and I finally made it to the top. Where we exchanged our first kiss. 

I stared at the garage, the place where my dad used to park his car. Every day he would go into his garage to shine his car, with me sitting on the hood singing Disney songs. 

I walked over to my backyard, where I saw my pet frog's tombstone I made when I was younger. It amazes me how far I have come. I used to fear about the tiniest things, such as my frog coming back to life to give me a kiss while I was sleeping (to be fair- that is frightening). Now, I'm fearing for my life. Fearing that I won't even make it to the hospital alive. 

I heard a rustle from a nearby bush, and saw my little squirrel friend come out of it. I haven't seen him since Christmas, since the day I was told I would be going to a public high school. His fur had hints of grey in it. 

"Hello, my friend," His eyes welcomed me.

"Hello. Oh my, you have gotten old." 

"That's not very polite." 

"Sorry, squirrel." 

"You did it Caroline," His eyes shined, "You made friends. You used to come out here crying because you didn't have any friends, and now you have them. You have a boyfriend for goodness sake. You have come a long way, and I'm proud of you." 

"Thank you, but I'm afraid I won't be coming back here." 

"Why not?" He tilted his head. 

"I'm dying, little squirrel." 

"So am I. We all are. But what good does it do to roam around scared of death?" 

"No good," I admitted. 

"Live your life Caroline, live your final days and treat them well. Cherish everything." 

"I am, little squirrel."

"I promise I'll meet you up in Heaven." 

"Thank you for being my first friend."  

"You're welcome," He replied as he scurried away. 

I felt my mom's fingers on my shoulder and she told me it was time to leave. 

I sighed and slowly went inside to say my final goodbyes. 

Polly ran up to me, hugging my legs again. Just like she did when she had first arrived here. 

"I love you Polly," I whispered softly. 

"I love you too, Caroline." 

"Goodbye Jerry. I've never liked you." 

Jerry turned away and scoffed. 

Zach was anxiously waiting for his goodbye, but I didn't give it to him. I slowly walked outside, pretending not to hear Polly's cries.

"I'll miss her!" Polly screamed. 

"She'll be back," Jerry reassured. 

I grabbed my mom's hand and sat in the front seat of her car. As we drove, we recalled memories from long ago that we seemed to forget. The first time I went into the doctor's office and the silly outfit I wore.

"Seriously," my mom said while laughing, "You wore stickers in your hair."

"Really?" I laughed, hardly believing my past self. 

We arrived to the hospital. My mom helped me inside, and the nurse took my bag. She led me over to a wheelchair and wheeled me into my room. 

I passed my reflection on the way there, and I did not look like the Caroline I had known before. My face was as pale as a ghost, and my lips were purple. I had dark bags under my eyes, and yellow spots on my cheeks. 

She wheeled me into my hospital room where I saw Jake sitting on a leather chair, waiting for me. 

"Jake," I smiled. 

"I'm going to stay with you," He promised. 

"But what about school?" 

"School can wait." 

My mom hung up all the pictures I had brought onto the walls: pictures of me and Amanda, me and Jake smiling and holding hands, pictures from Christmas, me and my squirrel friend, and me and my dad. It was small, but it would have to do. 

Now I have to sit back and anxiously wait and wonder, "when will it happen?".