Caroline's Cries

Chapter 19

Caroline's POV

It's been day 3. I'm afraid my body can't hold on any longer. Every day gets worse. It ranges from chills, to pancreas pain, to fatigue. My body's giving up.

Poor Jake, he's been here without any other socialization. He's just been here sitting by me, occasionally stopping whatever he's doing to make sure I'm still breathing. We've been playing chess a lot though, that seems to be a favorite amoungst us. 

"Jake," I whispered while rolling over, "I think it's almost time." 

He got in the bed with me, laying my head against his shoulder.

"I'm trying to hold on, but it's getting too slippery." 

"It's okay, Caroline, it's okay." His voice answered while sounding shaky.

"Jake," I whispered again while tilting my head to look up at him, "You've been the best boy I have ever known. Words can't describe how lucky I am to have you as my first boyfriend." 

"You're hands down been the best person I have ever met. And I really mean that too." 

"I wish we could have had a future together." 

"Me too," he frowned.

"Can I tell you a secret?" 

He nodded, tilting his head down so I could whisper in his ear.

"Sometimes, I would have dreams where you and I were parents, helping our children grow into beautiful adults. We were the best parents ever, by the way." 

He smiled.

"What were our kids' names?" 

I stopped, allowing myself to think, "Lily and Jacob." 

"I like those names." 

"Yeah, I did too. I think we named Jacob after you."

He reached down to hold my hand, "I don't think I'll ever not love you." 

"Same here, but can you promise me something?"

"I've already promised you several things," he chuckled, "But sure. Go ahead." 

"Promise me that you will be open to loving someone else?" 

"Caroline, I don't think I can."

"Please Jake? You have an amazing future ahead of you. Please do not let me be the reason that you won't allow yourself to have that future." 

He shook his head, "Let's not promise that now, okay?" 

I frowned and looked at the pictures on my wall.

"I've just loved you forever, as crazy as it sounds, I knew you were the one for me when you looked at me at the doctor's office." 

"I knew it too, and I loved you since then. I wish we could actually have a future together, though. With a sweet proposal, garden wedding, and sweet kids." 

He suddenly reached over to the sidetable and grabbed a licorice stick my mom had left from her lunch. Breaking it apart, and twisting it into a circle, he placed it on my left ring finger. 

"Will you, Caroline Bagshaw, do me the greatest honor as to having me be in your heart forever?" 

"I do," I smiled, "and do you, Jake, do me the greatest honor as to having me be in your heart forever?" 

"I do." 

"Til death do us part," I laughed. 

He frowned, "And after death do us part." 

"Jake, I have a few people I would like to say goodbye to. I'm willing to hold on until then, can you please have them come over?" 

"Anything for you." 

"Can you text Amanda and Bianca? I would like to say goodbye to them." 

"Bianca? I thought you guys hated each other." 

"No, I just hate Sasha," I winked, causing Jake to smirk.

"Just kidding," I sighed, "I can't die with hatred in my heart..."

"They said they'll be right over, are you sure you can hold on until then?" 

I nodded slowly. 

"Where's my mom?" 

"I don't know." 

"Wow, she's missing her own daughter's death." 

"I'm sure she'll be here soon," Jake reassured while hugging me closer. 

Silence filled the hospital, making me uncomfortable. I hated when hospitals were suddenly silent, because I knew that that meant that someone had passed. And I was probably next. 

"You are my sunshine, my only sunshine," I sang out as loud as my dying body would allow me to, "You make me happy when skies are grey." 

"You never know dear how much I love you," Jake continued singing. 

"Please don't take my sunshine-" 

The hospital room's sheets flung open and in came Amanda, Bianca, and Sasha. 

"Oh Caroline, I'll miss you so much," Amanda cried while reaching over to hug me. 

I noticed Bianca was frowning and Sasha looked like she was about to burst into tears at any given moment. 

"Thank you guys for coming, I just wanted to say goodbye." 

Amanda nodded and grabbed my hand, "Caroline, you are the best best friend I could have ever asked for. When I felt alone, you came in. Even Sarah who I've known for a long time hasn't done that. You filled a hole in my heart, Caroline. And you showed me what true friendship is. I will never ever forget you." 

I reached over to hug her while she cried in my arms. 

Bianca walked up and stood next to her.

"Um," she cleared her throat, "This is really hard for me but I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. I was such a jerk to you, I didn't even have a proper reason. If I could, I would go back and restart the whole thing. I'm so sorry, I really think you are such a strong person. I could never go through half of the things you went through." 

I smiled, "Bianca, I forgive you. Thank you for your apology." 

Sasha breathed like she was angry about something. 

"Sasha are you okay?" Jake asked. 

"No. I hate hospitals. You guys know how much I hate hospitals! How could you bring me here? Why are you all so selfish? It's not my fault Caroline is dying." She screamed. 

Everyone stared at her with open mouths, I couldn't believe the disrespect she was saying. 

"Sasha," I started, "In life, there are only 2 ways you can play. You could choose to be the villian, or you could choose to be the superhero. If you choose to be the villian, that'll lead you down a long path of lonliness and depression. I forgive you for everything you've done, but please keep those words in mind." 

I looked around and turned to Jake, "It's almost time." 

I said my final goodbye's and gave my final hugs. I gave everyone in the room a huge hug and started crying as they walked out of the room. 

Now it would be time for my hardest goodbyes ever: Jake and my mom.