Home (y/n) USWNT fanfic DISCONTINUED

What Is Happening

Warning! This chapter will have a lot of swearing. Suicidal thoughts. Depression. Self harm. I completely understand if you can not read this chapter. 

Hey guys I hope you are having a great day. Thank you for the support. I love you all. Anyway lets get into the chapter. 

Tobin's POV:
I walk with Kelley to Jill's office. I look at Kelley. "I'm sorry Kells." She stands sill and holds me still. "Don't you dare say that Heath. You need help. It is okay to feel like this every now and then. It is human. You are okay." She says looking me dead in the eye. 'You didn't tell her about me though. Your not normal for having this voice in your head. It's not every now and then is it Tobin. It's every fucking day.' "Shut up!" I scream. "Hey it's okay. I'm sorry if I said anything-" I cut Kelley off by dropping into her chest and hugging her. "It's okay Tobin." She says her voice quivering a bit. "Help me." I whisper into her chest. 'Who would want to help you. Your worthless. An attention seeking whore. No one will ever care about you. Not even your parents wanted you.'  "Stop! Kelley make it stop! Please. Please." I scream into her chest. I feel her tears on my head. "It's going to be okay Tobin. I will help you. I promise. I won't let you down again." 'Hear that again you bitch. You made her think that it is her fault. Your a worthless dyke. How bout you show her the scars on your arms huh. Or on your legs. Huh show her how broken you are. How pathetic and weak you are.'  I shake my head and burry it deeper into Kelley. Before I know it I hear Kelley knocking on the door. I lift my head up to see Y/n and Christen in the office. "Tobin!" Christen shouts and runs at me. I hug her back and hear Kelley talking to y/n/n. I let go off Christen. "I will come back later." I barely get out. "No Tobin this looks serious. If you are going to leave then I will make it a professional meeting." Shit that means they will have to have all the coaching staff in. I nod my head and sit in the chair. Jill then intructs Y/n, Christen and Kelley to leave the room. "Do you want anyone with you?" Jill asks. "Kells. Please." I whisper to Coach. She nods her head and walks out of room to find her.  'You shouldn't be doing this. They will make fun of you. Your weird you know. Your weird for having this voice. Your ugly too. Jesus you have put on weight. Look at you fat ass. Why would Christen ever want you. Your so much hassle. Whatever Y/n and Jill were talking about was way more important than this. You should just kill yourself. Do it. Get a blade and cut until you can feel no more pain. Or get a tub of pills and down them.' 

Jill's POV:
I walk out of the room and start trying to find Kelley. I see her talking to Ali, Ash, Chris and Y/n in the lobby. "O'Hara! My office!" I shout at her. She nods her head and starts walking towards me. "Oh and Kreiger! Can you call your brother anytime soon?" I ask the defender. "Yeah probably like tonight or tomorrow why?" I nod my head at Chris and Y/n. They get the hint and start telling Ash and Ali about what happened. Me and Kelley walk to my office. I walk in to find Tobin with her head in her hands. "Stop. Stop! Please!" She screams and starts crying. Kelley immediately rushes over to her teammate and try to calm her down. Something is seriously wrong with the midfielder. She is always so happy and cheerful always making the team laugh and relax with her contagious 'Hard Chill' as she puts it. I have never even seen her cry. Let alone sob and break down. After a while she finally calmed down. "Okay what is happening Toby?" I ask her concerned of my player. "I um don't err. I don't um know how to err explain it." She says stuttering. "Okay Kelley why did you bring Tobin here." The number 5 starts to speak. "So I was walking into the lobby and I saw Tobin so I shouted her wondering if she wanted to go out with me. She ignored me and so I shouted her again and she still couldn't hear me so I went up to her and asked one more time and she fell to the ground crying so I held her until she was okay. I then asked her what was wrong and she said that it was to hard and she didn't want to do it anymore." "What were you talking about Tobin?" I ask her. "Life." She says emotionless. "What do you mean Tobin?" I try prodding a bit more. "I mean I don't want to live! It's bullshit! All of life is bullshit! People always expect me to be happy! They don't know what I am going through! What they tell me to do! I-" Tobin shouts punching the desk. "What who tell you to do?" I ask staying calm. I could tell that this is her way of getting it all out. She is also answering the questions so it helps. I look at Kelley who seems scared. "My head! It's constant!" "What does it  tell you to do?" I ask once more. Tobin calms down and sits back down. "Nothing. It's-it's um nothing." 

Tobin's POV:
'Why did you shout at them. They will never like you. Nothing is wrong with you. Your making it all up. Your pathetic. Just kill yourself. It will be better for everyone.' I put my head back in my hands. "It's okay Tobin you can tell us. We want to get you help okay." Jill says to me. "It um tells me that I'm err weak, worthless um, ugly, fat er pathetic. I think you get the hint." I barely get out. "Jesus." I hear Kelley whisper under her breath. I sigh. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have-" "Tobin Powell Heath! If you say one more fucking time that you shouldn't have said anything I will happily beat your ass right here." Kelley says. I nod my head. "Is that it Tobin?" 'Go on show them your scars. Tell them that you think about killing yourself on a daily basis. Show them what a broken, weak, pathetic person you are. They will never love you and understand. Especially Christen.'  I shake my head. "What else?" Kelley asks. I decide to show them my scars. I lift up my sleeves and show them the cuts in my skin. There are some old and some fresh cuts. "Holy shit." Kelley says. How's this going to go down then...

1164 Words. 26th of July 2020. Sorry for the sad chapter. I promise it won't always be this sad. Also I just wanted to say that people are going onto Instagram on the 27th of July and reporting Donald Trump. It is at 9pm in England and 4pm in America. I am going to be doing it. It is up to you guys but I suggest you do it too. Have a great day/night guys!