protect my heart

28

c h r i s t i a n

I couldn't wait for baseball to be over and done with. As much as I loved the sport, I was ready for that break. I was ready to finally be able to relax and be with my family as much as I wanted to be without worrying about traveling without them. Jax is a newborn, and Nadia has to take care of him, Willow and Wyatt? I feel terrible. 

We're in World Series mode and I wish I could be at home with Nads and the kids; I want to be able to help her out. I'm at the ballpark literally twelve hours a day. We had our first couple of games in New York as we're facing the Yankees and now we're bringing it back home to hopefully claim the title here in Milwaukee.

I wish Jax was a little older, I know Nadia was a little apprehensive about bringing him to the ballpark even though they would be in the family suite watching the game. It would be nice to have my family here to watch me and my team win the World Series and watch me play in my final baseball game.

***

When I got to the ballpark, I was more nervous than anything. I was ready to play, but I didn't want to fuck it up. This was my last time walking in this clubhouse, last time being on that field as a player. I wanted it to be special, I wanted it to be perfect, honestly.

"Yeli! Last game today, you ready?" LoCain asked me. It was his last game as well, couldn't believe we were really closing this chapter on our lives.

"A little nervous, but I'm ready." I replied, going over to my cubbie and switched my shoes. I knew I would have some sort of press conference prior to the game, everyone wanted to know how I was feeling. It's all eyes on me today in baseball, that's all that matters to people today.

Just as I predicted, media started walking in. I prepared myself to be bombarded and just prepared to answer questions to the best of my ability.

"So, Christian. It's your last game today, last time entering this clubhouse as a player, last time putting on the uniform and playing a game of professional baseball...How are you feeling?" One of them asked.

I shrug, "It's more nerves than anything. I think because uh, we're so far in this series that I just want to secure a win. I realize it's my last game, and I don't really think it's hit me yet that this is my last time playing a real ballgame." I cleared my throat, "But, I'm ready. I'm ready to win this game." 

"Is your family here today? How do they feel about it?"

"They're not here, unfortunately. Jaxson is too little to be at the ballpark, so they'll be watching from home. I think they're excited they'll get to have me at home more often once the season is over." I replied, "It'll be nice for me to help my wife raise our three kids. I want to watch my kids grow up, and I'll finally have the chance to do that full time once baseball is done." 

They wrote down things, recorded me, the usual. "What are your plans for retirement? Are you going to stay in the baseball world?"

I shrugged again, "I haven't really decided. It'll just be nice to be able to not be on a schedule all the time. I haven't really planned out what I want to do, I think I'm just going to let life roll and see where it takes me." 

I answered a couple more questions before thanking them and then grabbed my bats and glove before walking out towards the field for batting practice.

When I got on the field, it was hitting me. My last time taking batting practice, my last time warming up for a game. It was...weird. I don't know if I liked this feeling or not. 

Once I finished practice, I heard some chatter going on behind the batting cage. I grab my bats and walk over there to see what was going on. I see Nadia with the kids talking to some of the guys and I just lit up.

"Excuse me!" I call out, getting Nadia's attention, "What are you doing?"

Nadia smiled and pushed the stroller with Jaxson in it towards me. "We weren't going to miss your last game. Jaxson wanted to see his daddy play!" She tells me, "I would feel horrible if we stayed home and watched from home. We want to be here to cheer you on and celebrate with you." 

I hug her and kiss her forehead, "Thank you. Seriously, I am so happy you're here." Willow came running and I picked her up, "Hey Willow bug! Are you excited to watch the game?"

Willow nodded, "You gonna hit ball far! You gonna win!" She giggled and wrapped her arms around my neck. "You play game?"

"I am! I will hit a homerun just for you." I say before kissing her cheek. I set her down, "You go with momma. You're gonna go in the family room and eat all sorts of snacks!" 

Nadia smiled and looked at me, "You're gonna do great. I love you." She says before hugging me. I hugged her back and kissed the top of her head. "I'll see you after, champ." 

I nodded and said bye to the kids before going back into the clubhouse to prepare myself for this game.

****

One more out. We needed one more out to secure the win. We had Hader on the mound to close out the game and I stood over in left field just waiting for him to throw that final pitch. We were so close to being World Series Champions. 

I hunched over, putting my hands on my legs as I watched Hader set himself up for the pitch. The stretch.....

Strike 3. We won.

We had just won the World Series again. The excitement ran through my body as we all charged the mound and jumped up and down, going crazy. I couldn't believe it. We did it. Another ring to add to my collection. This is how I wanted to end my career.

When we got the trophy, they handed it to me. That's when the feelings really set in; This was how things would come to a close. This is what I had dreamed of. I was speechless, honestly, I didn't know what to say. 

I got interviewed and then we finally made our way to the clubhouse where we just cheered more and were beyond excited. 

"Hey, hey. Everyone, listen up." Skipper spoke up, standing in the middle of the clubhouse. "I want to congratulate you all on an amazing season. You guys did this, you guys earned this title and it is well deserved. You went out there and kicked ass," He said and some of the guys cheered. "As always, we pick players of the game to be recognized and I think it's only right to recognize two of our veterans. Christian and Lo, you guys have made this team amazing over the years and we thank you for wanting to finish out your careers here. We wish you nothing but the best, and this win is for you guys." 

I nodded, trying not to get too emotional. I never got emotional in front of the guys, I couldn't do that. Ha. 

We all showered up and I walked out of the clubhouse to be greeted by my kids who ran to me and hugged me tightly. "Hey kiddos!" I say, crouching down and hugged them back. 

"Daddy! You win big trophy!" Wyatt said, looking at me, "And you hit home run!"

"I did! Did you cheer super loud?" I asked him, earning a nod. "Did you help Jaxson watch me play too?"

"I did! Mommy did too, and we were jumping up and down!" Wyatt said.

I smile at them both then look up to see Nadia standing by the stroller where Jax sat sleeping peacefully. "I hope you were cheering too."

She laughed, "Of course I was." I stood up and went over by her and hugged her. "I'm so proud of you, C. You deserve this.."

"Thank you, babe. Couldn't have done it without you." I tell her, "I'm ready to go home and celebrate with my family."