protect my heart

32

 n a d i a 

Being back home in California felt normal again. It felt like we were supposed to be here all along. I was back in my comfort zone with my family and I knew this was the right thing to do.

We had spent the last couple of days unpacking everything in the house and making sure things were neat and tidy. Our home wasn't too far away from my mom's house so while Christian and I worked on getting things unpacked, the kiddos went to my mom's house. She was beyond happy to see the kids again and meet Jax. The best thing about coming back home was being able to hug my mom again. I missed being able to do that.

Christian had been working hard on the boys' rooms. Wyatt wanted so badly for his room to be baseball themed so Christian went all out with decor and whatnot. Lining one of his walls with hats and signed jerseys for Wyatt from Christian's teammates, and even let Wy have some of his stuff to hang in his room so he could show it off to his friends. I had been working on Willow's room since she specifically said she wanted me to work on it, so I took on the challenge. 

When I was finished with her room, I walked into our bedroom, seeing Christian putting clothes in the closet. I hugged him from behind, "Mmm, look at my man hard at work." I say with a smile as Christian turned to face me. 

"Hi, beautiful lady." He said, leaning down to kiss me. "Finish Willow's room?" He asked me, and I nodded in response. 

"I miss them, can we go get them?" I ask him, wrapping my arms around his neck, "Pleaseeee?" I beg.

Christian laughed and nodded, "Yeah, babe, for sure. I'm sure they wanna come home anyways." He said as he moved his arms away from me to grab his keys. 

"You look cute in those sweats," I comment, smiling at him. I loved when he dressed in comfy clothes; He just looked super cute in them....Kind of sexy, not gonna lie. 

"I was feeling lazy today," Christian shrugged, "I thought if I was going to be working on the boys' rooms, I didn't want to be in jeans and whatnot, so I opted to dress all comfy." 

I nodded, grabbing his hand as we walked out of the house. "I'm not complaining. Your ass looks great in sweatpants anyways," I giggle and got in the passenger seat.

"I could say the same for you and leggings.." Christian said as he got in the driver's seat. "But that's a different conversation for a different day.." 

I blush, shaking my head and looked out the window. "You're dirty."

"You're the one with the fine looking ass. Don't be getting mad at me!" Christian glanced over at me, chuckling. "It's great to look at, I am not complaining." 

I roll my eyes, "I never said you were! Just said you were dirty." I stuck my tongue out at him.

He just shook his head and kept his eyes on the road as he drove. "That's just what you think. Maybe you're the one with a dirty mind," He shrugged. 

***

When we got home with the kids, they were pretty tuckered out. I got Jaxson fed and carried him into our bedroom where I laid him down on his pillow so he could lay with me and Christian. 

Christian walked in and smiled, "You got the little buddy in here!" He sat on his side of the bed and poked Jaxson's tummy, "Hey buddy." He kissed his cheeks and Jaxson just had the biggest smile on his face. 

I tied my hair up in a messy bun and got in bed next to Jaxson. "He gets so smiley when he sees you." I tell Christian, "Crazy how much he looks like you."

"Really? I think he looks more like you than me. I can see Wyatt looks a lot like me when I was younger, but I kind of see more of you in Jax than me." Christian commented, fixing Jaxson's little onesie he was wearing. 

"I don't know, I mean, Wyatt is literally your little twin, I just see a lot of your features in Jaxson than I see of myself. I see a lot of me in Willow for sure, but I don't really see it in Jax." I said. I mean, Jax was still too little to really see who he really looked like, but I saw a lot of Christian in him, and it probably could just be because he's a boy. 

Christian just nodded and cuddled Jaxson close. My heart melted watching Christian with the kids; It was so natural for him and I envied him for it.

****

The next day, Christian and I decided to take the kids over to his mom's house so we could have some lunch with her and his brothers. Cameron was home for a little bit from the services so I was very happy to see him and they could finally meet Jaxson. 

Christian helped Wyatt get ready while I got Jax changed and made sure Willow got ready alright. She's to a stage where she can dress herself, but she loves when mommy does her hair. 

Willow walked in by me and held her brush out, "Can you put my hair in the braid things?" She asked me, "The two ones!" 

I smile and nodded, "Of course, bug. Sit down on the chair, I'll make you so beautiful." She sat down and I started to french braid her hair. She was very into the double dutch braids when we were on the go. Once I finished, I handed her my little mirror, "What do you think, princess?"

"I love them, mommy!" She replied and smiled back at me, "They pretty!"

"Just like you!" I kissed her head, "Go see what your daddy and brother are doing!" 

She nodded quickly and got off the chair and ran out of my bedroom. I went over by my bed where Jax was laying on his pillow. "Hi, handsome boy!" I picked him up and kissed his cheeks, "I bet you're a little hungry, huh?" I sat down on the bed and began to feed him. 

Christian walked in and covered his eyes, "Oh, damn. I'm sorry. I should've knocked." He said, turning around. "I'll come back."

I giggle and shrug, "You should be used to it by now. Three kids and you've seen me naked several times." 

"You're right. I just didn't know you were going to be feeding him now!" Christian said, walking back in the bedroom. I finished feeding Jaxson and put a rag over my shoulder before sitting Jaxson up and patted his back. 

"I don't care, babe. He was getting fussy so I figured it was time for some lunch." I say, continuing to pat his back. "Wyatt all ready to go?" 

He nodded, "He picked out his outfit today and it matched, I was pretty proud of him." 

I laid Jaxson on his pillow and stood up, wrapping my arms around Christian. "How are you?"

Christian smiled at me, wrapping his arms around my waist, "I'm doing okay, babe. A little tired, but I'm excited to see my family. How are you?" 

I shrugged, "I'm doing alright. Just glad the move is over and done with and glad to finally be home." I tell him before kissing him lightly. "Just been kind of blah lately.." 

"You wanna talk about it?" He asked me, rubbing my back.

I shrug again, "You know I don't really like talking about stuff like that..." I say quietly, "I just feel tired and drained.." I lay my head against his chest. 

He sighed, "We don't have to go today, baby," Christian said, "I'm sure my mom would understand. If you're tired, you need your rest. It can be a lazy day.."

I shook my head, "No, no. We promised your mom that we would come over and bring Jax with us. I don't want to make her upset. I'll be fine, I promise. It's just me getting in my head." I tell him, kissing him again. "I appreciate the concern, though." 

Christian nodded, "Well if you need anything, you know where I am." He kissed my forehead before picking up Jaxson, "Hey buddy! Wanna go see gramma and grandpa?" 

I got Jaxson's bag together before putting it around my shoulder and walked out to get the other two kids. I think family time was very much needed right now...