YouTube Presents... (A Kyle David Hall fanfic)

Chapter 20

Amanda's POV

I took a deep breath and began speaking.

"Uh, well, it kinda started around 2 years ago. This was a month before I started YouTube. I've never spoken about this before with anyone, so you all better keep it secret!" I looked at them in the eyes and they all nodded.

"Well, like I said, about a month before I started YouTube. Me and my older brother, Thomas, we were fighting. It was his 19th birthday and he said something to me, I don't remember what it was now, but it was probably something really stupid. I took offence to it and we started arguing. I loved him so much, I regret what I said to him next. I shouted at him, saying I wish he would die and I ran up to my room and locked the door. That was the last time I ever saw him." I took a deep breath to try and stop the tears. "He left the house to go for a walk after what happened and he was killed in a drive by shooting." By now, there were tears streaming down my face.

"I felt so guilty about what I had said to him, I never got to say sorry, tell him I love him. That's when it started, I got really depressed and started cutting because I felt it was my fault. I decided to start watching YouTube, it help for a while, but it wasn't enough. I kept turning back to cutting. My dad had started smoking and doing drugs, and my mum started drinking. They became just as unstable as I was. I decided to buy myself a camera and try YouTube out for myself, thinking that it was a good way of helping myself. I was right for a while. For about 4 months I hadn't cut. That was until I started getting hate. It was on a regular basis, filling up my notifications bar. It kept on coming. I decided to try dying my hair, changing the music I listen to. I started getting into metal, I got my tongue and nose pierced and dyed my hair black and blue, but I still couldn't take my mind off of some of the things people had said to me. I kept trying to distract myself with things like saving up for piercings and hair dye but eventually, that stopped working completely. It's gotten to the point where I now have a blade taped somewhere in every corner of the bathroom and my room, and I have a small ring box filled with them."

I finished speaking, I could see that Johnnie and Kyle we're crying and Damon and Bryan where holding it in. I looked down to see that I had to wet circles on my jeans from crying. All of a sudden I was engulfed in a hug by Kyle.

"I'm so sorry Amanda. I want you to know, that no matter what, we are all here for you."
I leaned my head on his shoulder and continued to sob. I miss Thomas. I wish I had never said those things to him. I love him so much. I never got to tell him I'm sorry. It's my fault he's gone. If I had never started that argument, he would've never left the house in the first place.

I couldn't stop the tears and this point, no matter how much I tried. I felt Kyle's hand rubbing my back trying to comfort me.
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I woke up in someone's arms. I realised I still had dried up tears on my face and I wasn't in my own bunk. I turned around without waking them, and of course the face I saw sleeping next to me was Kyle's. He's so cute when he sleeps.

I remembered that I had told them about my cutting... About my brother... I didn't want to be alone tonight, so I slept in Kyle's bunk.
I felt a new rush of tears coming on, I tried to stop them but a few escaped. I felt something rubbing them away and I opened my eyes to see Kyle was awake now. He looked really sad. I put my hand on his to stop him from wiping away my tears.

"Please don't be sad." I gave him a reassuring smile. "I'm okay." I said and pressed my lips to his. We stayed like that for a while, just sharing small, passionate kisses. I love his lips, they're always so soft. Just his touch makes me instantly feel safer, more at ease.

"Goodnight. I said as we both pulled away. "Sorry for waking you."

He laughed lightly and pressed his lips to my forehead. "Goodnight." He replied before wrapping his arms around my waste and nuzzling his head into the crook of my neck. I smiled lightly and drifted off to sleep in his arms.

Damon's POV

After everyone went to bed, I still couldn't help but think about Amanda's story about why she cuts. It made my heart hurt to think that someone as kind and sweet as her could be going through so much pain.

I checked my phone and saw that it was already 12:41 in the morning. I really need to get some sleep.

"Ugh, but how can I when all I can think about is Amanda." Everyone was already asleep, and I needed to speak my thoughts for a bit.

"How can she hide such a terrible thing with such a beautiful smile?" I should probably start shutting the fuck up since I think I just heard Kyle speaking. Shit I hope he didn't hear me.

Ugh, why can't I sleep? Every time I close my eyes, all I can see is Amanda crying from telling us about her past. What a horrible thing to see when your trying to sleep. I hope she's okay.

I promised a longer chapter then what I've been doing lately, and here it is =)
I hope it's not too short or crappy...

Anyways....

Peacekies ✌️