Ever Since New York // H.S. - ON HOLD

CHAPTER 9 - DEAD MOM

A/N - DOUBLE UPDATE?????? If you haven't read Chapter 8, then go do that first! 

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We drive for a good bit in silence. Harry keeps stealing glances at me, but his face is still full of concern. At first, I sit turned toward the window because I am completely ashamed and angry at myself for having a moment like that in front of him, in front of anyone for that matter. It took me by complete surprise. No one has ever called me darling since I left Peter. I found myself getting comfortable and Peter still found a way to wiggle his way in and ruin things.

As the minutes go by, I feel myself returning back to normal, releasing most of my tension and anger and relaxing into my seat. Yet still, my brain is flooded with crippling, anxious thoughts.

What if he was repulsed by that?

What if he thinks I am crazy?

What if he yells at me for slamming so hard on my breaks and nearly killing him?

What if he thinks he did something wrong?

I push my thoughts away by reaching for my phone in the center of the dashboard and putting on some more soft music. The first song doesn't even play for five seconds before Harry turns the stereo off.

"Hey, I just turned that on.." I say softly, kind of annoyed.

"Do you want to talk about what happened back there?" He places his hand on top of mine, stopping it from turning the stereo back on. His hands are soft and warm and I feel more tension release at his touch. But I pull my hand away, knowing I shouldn't get too comfortable with him just yet.

"I really don't.." My voice trails off and I turn away slightly. Although, I keep talking so he doesn't have any room to ask any more questions. "I'm okay. It's nothing for you to worry about. Just please, don't call me darling." My voice lowers in my last sentence as I fight back the panic that tries to rise in me. I force myself to look him in the eyes and he has the look on his face. The look of pure pity and sympathy.

"And don't look at me like that." My face hardens and my voice stern. I'm glad my sass is still evident. I cross my arms and raise my brow at him. He loosens up a bit and puts his hands up in surrender.

"And hands on the wheel!" I squeal as we swerve slightly, but somehow I know he did that on purpose. "But really...I had a moment, everyone has moments sometimes..." My voice grows soft again and I turn the music up once again.

Comfortable silence waves across us and I lean into the center console, resting my head on my hand. My legs are crossed and I am turned toward Harry slightly. He sings along softly to the songs and taps his fingers on the gear shift. He is so close to me right now. I can feel his heat radiating from his body as our arms practically rest right next to one another. I'm staring off into the distance, daydreaming about a life without Peter. One that never had Peter in it. Who would I be? Where would I be?

I'm pulled back into reality when I feel Harry's large hand reach over and pat my knee. I tense up, fearing what he will do. He gently squeezes before putting both hands back on the wheel. I release a breath I didn't realize I am holding in and relax. That wasn't much, but I think it was a small gesture aimed at reassuring me. And it worked.

I look up at him and he turns his head slightly so he can see me as well. I smile softly and he returns it with his usual half smile. His eyes are bright and full of so much care. Maybe he isn't like the rest. I take a deep breath and sigh as I exhale. Maybe if I tell him this, he will feel satisfied.

"I want to tell you something." I blurt out, completely catching him off guard. Reaching for the volume dial, I turn the music down and turn toward him completely.