Ever Since New York // H.S. - ON HOLD

CHAPTER 12 - IT'S MY LAWYER

A/N - Hehe...this is just the beginning...;)

. . .

It's Friday now and it's been a pretty quiet last few days. Quiet meaning I haven't done much else besides work and play with Ginny. Neither of those things I mind on a usual day, but Harry has constantly been in the back of my mind. It's like a low hum of an air conditioning machine. It's always there, but you don't always recognize it until maybe it rumbles or squeaks. Harry is like my air conditioning machine, but no one has ever been that for me. Not in a good way at least.

I had my typical Tuesday session with Lisa and of course she asked me about Harry. She was utterly shocked at the fact that I had actually texted him, let alone hung out with him. I told her about my momentary freak out on our drive. She said it's common for people with PTSD to have random triggers. We had done EMDR for specific moments, like the night Peter got me pregnant. But triggers can be anything, and you're not always consciously aware of them beforehand. Sometimes they creep up on you like a thief in the night, stealing every ounce of courage and dignity you have.

We talked a lot about that moment I had in the car. How I was feeling before, during, and after. What went through my head when I heard the word, 'darling,' come from Harry's mouth. I didn't go full blown panic mode, which Lisa was pleased to hear because a year ago, maybe I would have. I was able to use the tools we had put in my toolbox to repair the faulty wire in my brain telling me I was in danger. Even though being triggered like that was not fun, nor welcomed, it is relieving to know I have made a lot of progress in the past few years.

There are still many thoughts, questions, and anxieties I have surrounding Harry and our friendship. If that's even what this is. I would assume we're friends, right? I mean we've hung out a few times, and we know a few more things than an acquaintance would know about each other.

I got a text from him last night and it read, "I hope you're well. We should make plans soon x. -H." I thought it was sweet that he made the effort to reach out to me even though we hadn't talked since I left his house Monday night. That night left me with mixed emotions.

I was feeling something. I don't know what, but it was something. There's no way you feel that kind of warmth throughout your body when you're with just one of your buddies. But also, I still don't know a whole lot about him, his life, who he is, or how he is. I guess part of that is because I hadn't done too much digging. I'm not necessarily used to asking people questions out of genuine curiosity and care rather than for the purpose of a story. I know that makes me sound shallow, it's just I haven't gotten close enough to anyone to really know.

Emma and I are at the playground with Ginny. I am completely trapped inside my head, while Emma pushes Ginny back and forth on the swings. A bright smile forms on my lips seeing how happy and carefree Ginny is despite all I endured to have her. The blaring sound of my ringer interrupts the beautiful moment I am taking in.

It's my lawyer. Oh god, please no.

"Hello?" I answer hurriedly, feeling like I might throw up the entire contents of my stomach any second now.

"Evelyn, it's Maria. How are you doing?" Her voice is kind, but I can't help but feel irritated because I have no clue what she is calling me about.

"Yeah, hi. I'm okay. Can I ask why you're calling? Please do not tell me Peter is out already..." I feel my hands start to shake and I try so desperately to maintain the grip on my cell phone.

"No, no, he's not." The biggest sigh of relief escapes my mouth. "But I do have news about that." Pain shoots through my abdomen causing me to hunch over as her words make my stomach to turn completely upside down.