20 cm || Choi Yeonjun

43

"Wait, is it really? You aren't serious right? I refuse to believe." I stubbornly said as I continue to gape at our grinning manager. I would have been creeped out by how much he was smiling but because I knew the reason, I'll let it go. "I'm serious, girls. Why do you all assume that I'll joke about this topic?" He told us, his hands were bunched up on his hip in an intimidating manner. I only puckered my lips.

We were all in the waiting room of Music Bank. It was already our fourth time performing in music shows but the feeling was still the same. It was exhilarating every time we perform.

"Because being nominated for first place is impossible, especially for rookies. You know that." I argued back. Kibum oppa flashed me a smug look before grabbing something in the pocket of his coat. It looked like an envelope. My eyes widened when I saw the familiar logo of KBS. "No waaay..." Eunbi unnie snatched the paper from our manager and read whatever was written on it.

"Girls, we really are nominated... We're up against Sunmi sunbaenim." Holy mother of cows. I shook my head. No. I must be dreaming. This was too good to be true.

"And you'll be having a small interview with Sunmi in about three hours from now. Help each other with the scripts." Our manager told us. I puckered my lips. Heck. I totally forgot that this always happened during music shows. Nominees will be shortly 'advertised' to the viewers for them to continue voting and supporting their artist to win the trophy.

I massaged my temples. Thinking about another task added made me feel the building up exhaustion in my body. It was going to be a busy day. We were set to perform thirty minutes from now. Ours were delayed a little bit than usual because KBS was holding special stages for other groups to celebrate something. I really don't know what but seniors were asked to appear for short acts and song covers. I heard Tomorrow by Together were one of the groups performing.

How fun.

"I think we should do an aegyo version of Bad Boy for the encore if and only if we win." Ga eun suggested. Hmm. Actually that didn't sound bad. I think the fans will like it. "That's actually a good idea. Let's go for that." I said to the others.

"Great. Then that's what we'll do. I just hope we win." Eunbi wrote on a piece of paper what possible questions we will be asked and together we practiced answering until we were finally called to go on stage.

We were all smiling and buzzing with excitement as we skipped through the hallways. We passed by many waiting rooms. All of them almost identical. White walls and white doors. I stopped on my tracks when someone familiar caught my peripheral vision. I turned my head in the direction of the open door. It was as if the wind was knocked out of me and I can no longer breathe. A scene unfolded right before my eyes that never in a million years did I imagine to see again.

Yeonjun was laughing. It was the first time in months did I see him laugh this genuine. His eyes turned crescent and his lips stretched making his face brighten. I should be glad. I should be happy for this. Because finally I can see him become his old self again. But it was much harder to accept because the reason for his happiness is right beside him. A girl.

He was so focused on whatever story she was telling. He was looking at her like the world revolved around her. His gaze showed the familiar light it had when he looked at me from before. They were sat comfortably side by side in whoever waiting room it was. Most probably from the girl because the staff were all unfamiliar to me.

My assumptions were deemed correct when another pretty member joined them. Telling something to her. Probably something important because they were already saying goodbye to Yeonjun.

I ran so fast the moment I realised he was drawing near me. My members were long gone. Perhaps not noticing that I was not following from behind. I skipped through the dull white walls to the stage, my excitement long gone. She was probably someone special for him to bravely visit her waiting room himself.

"Hey. Where the heck were y— Are you okay?" Ga eun's hand on my shoulder made me jump. I didn't even notice that I have already arrived back stage. I shook my head from the thoughts and forced a smile. "Nothing. I went to the restroom." I told her. She looked like she didn't buy my excuse but didn't dig any further.

I couldn't focus on the rest of the performance. I had difficulties in spotting the cameras and I almost missed my parts in the song. Though I managed, I was still out of it. The scene from earlier was fogging everything in my system. It feels like I was being drained, like a plant being stepped on even.

The girls probably know by now that something was bothering me. They let me off the hook in the interview and Ria had taken my lines. I only did a short 'we'll be back'.

I pulled at my hair when I realise that I'll be seeing them both eventually during the end of the program. Shit.

What hurts more is that I didn't have the right to be jealous. I didn't have the right to feel hurt because I was the one who broke it off to begin with. I should be happy for him. He has already met someone. But was it wrong to be selfish? Just for a small amount of time he was with me. He was mine.

What the heck am I even saying? I sound like a crazed bitter ex girlfriend.

Saying it in my head actually made my heart clench. I was already an ex. Meaning I was now in the past for him.

I shifted my gaze on my phone. The sudden urge to text Kai was strong. I was dying to know. But did I have a right?

No.

"Jiwon, its time. Lets go." Eunbi held my hand and pulled me up. I almost fell when my knees unexpectedly buckled. Good thing, Eunbi unnie was quick enough to steady me. "Hey. Are you okay?" She placed her hand on my forehead, checking my temperature. I just nodded shortly.

"Yeah. Let's get this over with. Come on." I showed her a smile and this time I was the one who pulled her out of the door.

——————

Hello MOAs!! Another update to celebrate TXT's milestone in participating in Black Clover's new OP.

++It will air in September 1.

:)