20 cm || Choi Yeonjun

71

"What do you want?" I told the person in front of me icily. After grabbing the chair and sitting myself on the table he reserved specifically for this talk, I finally broke the silence, sparing him of saying anything that might waver my judgement. "I don't have all day." I added, tapping my fingers impatiently on the table. My eyes never strayed from his form so when he shifted awkwardly and tried to fix his collar, I lifted my hand to call for a waiter.

His eyes widened, shocked that I was actually making this, whatever this is — at least worthwhile. "One chai latte please." I politely told the waiter. I felt his eyes still studying my face but I continued to ignore him — not until the attendant finally left the table then I matched his stare.

"Yeonjun... really," I sighed out when he still refused to talk. I didn't know what to feel. Seeing him all nervous with his shoulders drooped down, he looked like a puppy that got kicked by his owner. "The clock is ticking. We'll be departing soon." I reminded him, even eyeing my watch to get my point across.

He finally had the balls to text me after the second day concert finished. I don't know how he managed to organise all these things when we have little to no time to even get a wink of sleep. We only had two hours to get back to the hotel to meet the others. We'll be flying back to Asia at 10:00 am today. Thailand was our next stop on the tour.

"I— fuck.." He ran his hand through his hair then sighed deeply. His eyes were glazed, appearing to be sorting out his thoughts. "I know it looks messy—"

"That's because it is." I butted in. He glared at me, eyes holding no heat but still looked like he was irritated. "Hear me out first, please?" He pleaded. When I didn't respond, he finally opened.

"Yeji and I... We go all the way back. We grew up in the same town. Our houses were just a few blocks apart. Our parents were best of friends and we used to go to the same school. When I told my parents one time that I wanted to be an idol, they didn't take me seriously. I excelled in school so wanting to be in the music industry sounded like a complete and utter joke to my parents. Yeji was the one who helped me convince them to give me a chance." He paused for a moment, eyeing my face to spot even a tiny bit of reaction but I stubbornly schooled my face, giving him no hints.

"They finally agreed after weeks of convincing. But there was a catch. Yeji had to be by my side. She was surprisingly fine all of with it, so I immediately agreed. I was thirteen then. I was so young, Jiwon. I didn't know back then that debuting required shedding tons of blood, sweat and tears. I got rejected at JYP, only Yeji got in. We kept it from my parents but I fortunately got accepted to another label. Three years. I trained so hard but I still didn't make it to the final cut. I gave it my all every. single. day. but it felt like I was stuck in the same place, that I was just moving in aimless circles. Yeji got tired of waiting for me so between those years she continued her studies, while I was left in the corner of our tiny practice room to hope for something to happen. She was lucky enough to make a deal with her company to come back after finishing high school. And that made me so resentful of myself. I began hating myself until I couldn't handle it anymore. I left my former company." His voice began wavering in the middle of telling me. The memories must have hurt so much that up until now it still brought him pain. He wasn't crying but it looks like he was close to letting a few tears out. Yeonjun's eyes started becoming red from holding it in. He blinked a few times and swallowed the lump in his throat before continuing.

"I was about to head back home. I finished packing my bags and was waiting for the bus when a staff from Bighit approached me. He told me that he saw the documents that I sent them. He told me that they were impressed and would gladly take me under their wing."

"Yeji submitted those papers." It wasn't a question but Yeonjun still nodded his head to confirm my suspicions.

"I got in because of her and when she heard that I finally passed for the debuting line up, she came back to JYP."

"How does this all even relate to me?" I looked at him right in the eye, showing him that I'm beyond fucking exhausted. "Yeonjun, If this is your sick way of telling me that you love Yeji then I beg you to spare me of the details. We should head out now." I began putting back my things in my bag when a frantic hand caught my wrist. Yeonjun's lips wobbled and he was trying so hard to blink back the frustrated tears.

"Let me finish, please." He whispered out. "Just give me five minutes." He breathed heavily.

"When we started dating, Yeji somehow found out from someone inside the company. She didn't take it too well. It was too late for me to realize that she had feelings for me. I was so naive. She was about to tell my parents, especially my mom but I managed to stop her. I knew her well to know that she'll start bad-mouthing you and my mom who practically adores her will believe whatever comes out of her mouth. I talked things with her and made it clear that friendship is the only thing I could offer." Yeonjun paused. He inhaled a few more times to steady his breathing.

"What happened?" I whispered softly. My confidence from earlier now turned to bundles of nerve from hearing the truth from him. I clutched my shaking hands together to muster enough strength to get me through this messed up situation. I sat at the edge of my seat the whole time, finding it hard to admit that he was tearing down the walls I took a long time to build up again.

"She told me that we'll break up eventually, that you were only a temporary event in my life. Then it became eerily quiet on her side. I hadn't seen her for months, she avoided every chance of meeting me until she heard that we uh—" It looked like he was having a hard time getting the next words out. His face shown hints of bitterness in them.

"Broke up." I continued for him, scoffing.

"Yeah... But believe me, Jiwon. You're the only one that I want. It might seem like an odd time to tell you this but," He held both of my hands, intertwining his fingers securely between the gaps of my tiny ones. "I love you."

"I can't risk Yeji ratting us to the media. I can't risk her tainting your reputation in front of the people I care about the most. I need to get my parents' approval first, okay? Do you trust me?" He leaned forward, his thumb drawing patterns on the back of my hand.

"I trust you." I told him truthfully. Because I do. I'll trust his word. We've been through a lot — there's nothing else left to lose. I'll willingly gamble in this game if it means that I can finally be with him.

—————

*gasp*
Yeji's like those evil right-hand people that whispers shit to the queen and king in the medieval times lmao.

I'll update the second part tomorrow! I hope that clears some of your questions!

[unedited]