20 cm || Choi Yeonjun

61

"You can't say that..." I recoiled from my seat when I hear his voice breaking further. He was sobbing so hard that it hurt so much to see him like this, his fists were clenched tightly while he stared at me with frustration and pure unadulterated rage in his eyes. Then his eyes darkened, forming into slits. He had his teeth clenched. "YOU'RE LYING! TAKE THAT BACK! FUCKING TAKE IT BACK JIWON PLEASE!"

The pain worsened when his voice lowered into soft pleads. "please.." My blood had run cold now. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know what to say. My mind is silently filtering the right words to avoid hurting him further.

"Can't we just go back? I... I want us back, Jiwon." I slowly shook my head 'no', despite my resolve crumbling fast, I desperately held on to what was left of my sanity. Not trusting my own to voice out the mess in my head. Yeonjun scoffed, rolling his eyes to the side to keep his tears from falling. He held the sheets tightly, noticeably trying to control another outburst.

"Then why? Why is it so hard for you to choose me? I-i... am I not worth it? Did I do something that made you unhappy? Just tell me... I'll change it immediately." Before he could even continue I cut him off. Not wanting him to say things that he'll promise to recklessly do.

"Haven't we learned our lesson the hard way, Yeonjun? This?" I pointed to the both of us. "Is a bomb just waiting to explode. We're still young. We still have a lot to learn. And I think it's much better if we mature and grow separately." My lips were shaking so bad but I stubbornly bit it. Hiding from him what I truly felt.

The words I let out felt like poison in my mouth. It tasted bitter. Each word killing all of the chances for us to be together. It made me want to vomit. I'm so disgusted with myself right now. Disappointed that I cannot even fight for him. I dreamed for so long how I would shout to the world how much I loved him. To make him feel secure, that I'll always have his back. But I can't even say a single word without my demons whispering and drilling in my head the harsh reality and what the consequences it lead. I'm such a fucking coward. So fucking worthless.

"Is that what you really thought of us? A fucking mistake?! Look in to my eyes, Jiwon. Look into my fucking eyes and tell me that you mean it. That you meant every bullshit you've said." I didn't even notice him moving. I jumped back when I see his face only centimetres away from mine. He was breathing heavily. His eyes challenging me to speak.

I unconsciously wet my lips, now feeling intimidated by his cold and menacing guise. I winced hard when his eyes had immediately followed were my tongue had darted out. His eyes stubbornly remained staring at the spot. The heat from his tantalising stare making me shiver. Fuck.

"I—" I gasped when his face dove fast to meet my lips. His warm ones nipping harshly, suckling on my bottom then his tongue occasionally making cat licks to sooth the pain. My eyes had widened in fraction when his hands traveled to my nape, pulling hard to lessen the space between us. I couldn't help but marvel at how his lips had perfectly meshed with mine. My eyes had unconsciously closed when he started moving. Our lips moving in sync, subconsciously creating our own rhythm.

I felt him let out a lazy drawl when I began teasing, nibbling on his lower lip, the vibrations from his chest traveling to mine. It felt heavenly. He tasted so sweet. So addicting.

My cheeks began to heat when I hear the sounds we were making. The room had already been quiet that it intensified the grunts he had let out. It made my head feel fuzzy. The last string of my resolve snapping when his hands crawled to my waist, his hands gently massaging the spot. The warmth of his fingers had got me shivering, letting out small groans. He took this opportunity to slip in his tongue. His immediately finding mine, teasing and fighting with my own.

This went on until our lungs started to burn from the lack of air. I lightly pushed Yeonjun's chest, pleading for him to stop. We broke apart panting, a string of saliva proving how long the exchange was. He let out a huff when we were forced to stop but later on breaking into a smirk when he sees my swelled up lips.

"Now say that again." He taunted.

"I never want to hear anything like that coming from you again. Am I clear?" He cupped my face. His fingers tracing soothing patterns on my cheeks. My insides warmed when he looked at me with complete adoration. His eyes softening despite it being red and blotchy. I nodded my head obediently as to which made his lips crack into the most beautiful smile. He lovingly pecked my forehead.

"We'll make it, Jiwon. I'll fight. I'll lay my cards down. I don't care if it's a losing fight. Just stay by my side and we'll make it through." My eyes started heating at the sides again. His voice held a promise, a solid conviction that he'll make his words come true.

I just hope so. This time. Whatever problem the world throws at us, I'll be at the very front with him, holding his hand.

I promise to never leave his side again.

I love him and I think it's the right time to finally tell him. I straightened my back and cleared my throat. I reached for both of his hands, playing with it as I look at his smiling eyes.

"Yeonjun, I want to take this chance to personally say sorry. I'm so sorry that I cowardly turned my back against you when you needed me the most. I'm sorry that I stubbornly faced you with deaf ears. I immaturely didn't hear your side. I selfishly picked what I thought was right at that time. I made the decisions on my own and I didn't even bother talking to you or asked how you'd feel." I sucked in deep breaths when my throat began to thicken, remembering the stupid choices I made in the past. It lead to losing him. I was close to crying.

"And all I wanted to say is that you're not alone anymore. I'm here now. I promise to never leave your side." I know he feels my hand shaking from the nerves but it didn't seem to bother him.

His eyes were waiting and expectant, his gaze holding mine securely.

"I lov—" My confession was cut short when his phone rang loudly. The annoying ringtone slicing through the silent room. I sighed, looking at him again to indicate that it wasn't important and he can answer the call.

However what I saw on the screen made my heart drop. My smile instantly vanishing and my hands had fallen limp on my side.

Yeonjun quickly exited. Unknowingly opening my insecurities again.

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Hello MOAs!! I can't believe it took me this long to write this... but anyway at least its here now! :D

This chapter is dedicated to my personal idea bank _Namjoonieee_  lmao thank for helping me sort things out with this book!