Finding Myself Again (Adopted by Markiplier)

~fifteen~

"It's my experience that people are a lot more sympathetic if they can see you hurting, and for the millionth time in my life I wish for measles or smallpox or some other easily understood disease just to make it easier on me and also on them."

― Jennifer Niven,

I paced back and forth in the shallow waiting room as I lingered for Mark. So many questions were running through my head that I didn't exactly have the answer to until a nurse or a doctor came out. Will she be okay? Did she wake up? Was her grabbing my arm a conscious decision that she made? Or was it simply just reflexes?

I shook my hands in the air as I walked to not only to get rid of some of my anxious energy but to try to dry my hands that were drenched in sweat.

My ears perked up at the sudden loud noise from the automatic doors opening. I looked over towards the lobby, Mark came rushing in without bothering to check with the receptionist- it's not like he needed to, anyways. Most of the staff were pretty familiar with my parents, Mark, and I. Some of the staff are fans of Mark, which usually I wouldn't mind, but sometimes it gets too overwhelming having to constantly be stopped in a hospital, in which my parents are dying in.

The anxiety that I was feeling slightly relaxed as Mark came towards me, engulfing me into a hug. I wasn't alone anymore. I can't stand being alone sometimes. Even in a hospital, I feel unsafe. I tried to ignore the feeling of being watched by several staff members, which took some of the concentration that I had stored for trying to not completely break down in public. I tensed up in his arms before pulling away.

"Why did you pull away? You're still freaking out," Mark questioned, I just shook my head because what'll come out of my mouth would be unpredictable. I tried subtly looking towards where people started to crowd. Silently whispering, gossiping about Mark. This was one of the main reasons why he doesn't come inside with me on most days and instead goes running errands until I'm done here, just so I can have space with my parents.

His eyes followed mine as he finally saw my source of discomfort, and he sighed audibly. I was afraid he thought I was being overdramatic because he's used to the attention, but it was guided towards the onlookers.

"I understand you guys are interested in me, but it's extremely disrespectful to both Karli and me, so if you don't mind, we would like to deal with our emotions in peace." I could see in his eyes that he didn't like being so forward and borderline cold about telling his own fans off, but I was thankful for it nonetheless.

Collectively, they scurried away with shocked looks on their faces. I turned to Mark once they were all gone, "Thanks, they were freaking me out just a little bit." He gingerly pulled me into a hug, "I know it doesn't seem like it right now, but, you got this. I know you can pull through this. No matter what come's out of the doctor's mouth, I know you can make it to the other, brighter side. I promise."

I smiled into his shoulder, "Thanks, Mark. You didn't have to help me, but I'm glad you're here."We pulled away, his lips turned upwards and his eyes showed genuine amounts of care."Ms. Gaines?" I looked over Mark's shoulder, my mom's neurologist was coming towards us, an unreadable expression on her face. Mark moved out of the way slightly but still stayed close. "Is there any good news? Like, at all?" I asked once she approached me fully, my voice was full of hope, but deep down I was terrified that my hopes were too high. That I was reaching for the stars when the only destination was the cold, dirt.