Love, Demi (lesbian story)

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*TRIGGER WARNING*

Lia's POV

Lia, I just need to tell you that you're amazing, and strong, and so beautiful, and I know it's hard to believe because of what you've been through but just know that I'm not lying, and I do really care for you, you mean a lot to me already, I can't imagine how much you'll mean when we know each other better. Just wanted to let you know. Love, Demi x

I sat on the bathroom floor with the letter in my hand, the letter that Demi had slipped in the clothes she let me keep that I slept in when I stayed at hers. It's been 2 weeks since I received it, since I'd stayed at Demi's, and yes, I was still reading it back to myself.
"I'm not lying.." I whispered, my voice breaking as I spoke Demi's words. I put it on the floor beside me, then grabbed some tissue and held it to my eyes, soaking up the unstoppable waterfall of tears that streamed down my cheeks. I held my breath as I sobbed, trying to make as little noise as possible.

Today, it has been exactly 10 years since I lost my mother. 10 years since I made her come and get me from school because of some stupid bullies. 10 years since she died in that accident, coming to get me. 10 years since I killed my own mother. To this day I still blame myself for that, if I had just sucked it up and pushed past those bullies, left my mother alone and just gotten over myself, she'd still be here, I'd still have both my parents and my life would be fine. But it's not, and I hate myself every day for what I did.

I finally managed to control myself, and stop myself crying. I pulled myself up by the counter under the mirror in my bathroom and stood opposite it, staring at what I hated more than anything in the world; myself. I threw my tissues in the bin and splashed cold water on my face, in an attempt to reduce the redness. I dried my face and leant on the counter, leaning on the palms of my hands. I breathed heavily as my eyes darted to my shelves which were drilled to the wall beside the mirror. I stared at tin of vaseline which sat next to my perfumes. Plot twist; it had no vaseline in it, but was full of blades. Yeah, I stopped cutting, for the most part, but weirdly, I was less likely to use the blades if I had some, if I didn't it would make me want to cut, so I just kept them. I reached over and grabbed the tin, opening the lid and staring at the shiny metal. I leaned back against the wall again, letting myself slide down it. I picked up a blade, setting the tin down beside me and toyed with it in my hands. I let a tear escape my eye, getting trapped under the frame of my glasses that rested on my cheeks. I wiped it away to clear my vision and without thinking, pushed the blade against my scarred arm, dragging it along, leaving a thin crimson line behind it, which soon grew wider. I repeated the action several times over my scars, making it hurt even more as the metal touched the pale white lines. I dropped the blade and let my head fall back against the wall. More tears slid down my cheeks as I let the fresh wounds pour out. I snapped out of my head when I realised the blood was dripping on the perfect white floor. I quickly got up and grabbed some tissue, pressing it against my arm, then getting some makeup wipes to clean the floor. I threw all the tissues and wipes in the toilet and bandaged up my arm, wiping my face and going back into my room to change for work.

*****

I'd been at work for a few hours now, my wonderful job I have at TopShop, working at the checkout or in the changing room, or around the store, talking to ungrateful rich bitches who think they can run the place. Honestly, I hated it. I just got it for the money, because unlike some, I'm more than grateful for everything that people have done for me, especially Saph's parents for letting me live with them, and I needed to pay them back. I looked at my watch, hoping I could go home soon, but realising I hadn't evem had my lunch break yet. I sighed, as I looked up to see a few people join the queue.
"Next please." I said, looking over to a guy with some clothes flung over his arm. He looked up and made his way over.
"Good afternoon." I said in the most enthusiastic tone I could manage to fake. The guy raised his eyebrows and chucked a little.
"You don't have to be enthusiastic for me, trust me, I'm probably as tired of this shop as you are." He continued to chuckle. I smiled a little, scanning the items of clothing.
"You have no idea." I muttered. "Not the shopping type?" I added. He sighed and shoved his hands in his pockets.
"Definitely not, I took my girlfriend shopping a while ago, and she liked these things so I've come back to buy them for her." He told me. I smiled, secretly fangirling over how cute this guy was.
"That's really sweet, I'm sure she'll love it." I gave the man a smile.
"Thank you.." He paused to read my name badge. "Lia." He smiled. I finished packing his items and handed him the card machine as he punched in the number.
"Thank you, bye." I said as he walked away. I went to ask for the next person to come over, but as soon as I looked up I saw a familiar face, and not a good one. Oh god, I thought as hundreds of memories flooded through my mind from my childhood. The image of my young, 9 year old self on the ground in the playground, surrounded by 4 girls and her..all of them laughing at me..telling me that my mum purposely crashed her car because of me. I looked up to the queue in the shop, realizing my recognition of her face. It was the girl who made my life hell; she looked no different. Her platinum blonde hair falling past her curved waist to her lower back, her light full fringe covering her eyebrows and stopping just before her eyes to reveal the most venemous green. My breath caught up in my throat and I coughed, trying to regain a steady breathing pattern. She looked at me as I cleared my throat, her eyes glued to my face, clearly trying to figure out where she'd seen my face before. I pushed myself away from the counter and hurried round the corner, crashing into the door labelled 'staff only'. I pushed it open and fell into someone coming out of the door on the other side.
"Jeez, Lia watch it!" the voice of my co-worker Theo echoed down the hallway as I collided with him, hitting the side of my face on the clothes rail he was pulling along behind him.
"Sorry..I-I'm going on my break..my..yeah." I stuttered as I stood upright, getting my balance, my hand finding it's way to where I'd hit it.
"You got a half hour hermosa." He spoke in his thick hispanic accent, calling me the usual nickname of 'hermosa', meaning 'beautiful'. I guess you could say..he enjoyed my company. I nodded and started to walk to the end of the hall where the door was, picking up the pace of my stride as I went. I extended my arms to push the bar of the door to let me out, sliding a piece of wood which I always left out here in between the door and the wall to keep it from closing and shutting me out. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as the cold, damp air hit me, filling my lungs with the feeling of freedom. I made my way over to a set of metal steps that lead up to the roof of the shop. I climbed up a few and sat there, watching the rain fall down, gradually becoming heavier. I looked out to the view in front of me, the backs of a book shop sat beside a Starbucks, then more retail stores beside those. My mind raced along with the cars that drove past me, splashing the puddles up onto the sidewalk. A woman hurried along the path closest to me, holding up a giant umbrella over her and a young boy, most likely no older than 4 years old. She looked over to me, her eyes lingering for longer than they should have, until she gave me a sympathetic smile and carried on walking, holding onto her child.