Unfaithful Lover (JenLisa)

Chapter 5

Pagkapark ko ng kotse sa labas ng bahay nakita ko ang kotse ni Jennie. I guess andyan na siya sa loob. I looked at my watch, it's already 11pm, himalang maaga siya umuwi.

Nasa living room si Jennie ng pumasok ako sa loob. I smiled at her, and she does the same but makikita mo sa kanya,.. I don't know, guilt?

I walked at her direction and place a kiss on her cheeks. Tumabi ako sa kanya sa couch and napuno kami ng katahimikan. Tanging tv lang ang maririnig mong ingay. So I decided to break the silence.

"I'm sorry" we both utter. She looked at me sincerely and it breaks my heart cause I realized, anyday, or anytime hindi ko na makikita ng malapitan ang mukha niyang ito.

I hesitantly grab her hand, "Can I have your time tomorrow? I just wanna be with you. I miss you" I said nervously. I dont know kung ano ang isasagot niya, but please..for the last time, I just want to spend time with her. God, for the last time, please?

She just looked at me and a few seconds pass she slowly nod and smiled at me. "Sure. Let's spend time together."

I dont know what happenned next, basta ang alam ko nlang kinulong ko siya bigla sa bisig ko, and God! Sobrang namiss ko to. Yung ganito siya kalapit sakin. Parang napakatagal na panahon na ng muli ko siyang nahawakan ng ganito.

She hugged me back eventually, actually more tighter than mine.

****

Maagang nagising si Jennie, bigla akong kinabahan. I thought, we have plans for today?

"Ahmm, Lis.. punta lang ako saglit sa company. As in sobrang saglit lang. Papaalam lang ako kay Jisoo na di ako makakapasok ngayon" parang binuhasan ako ng malamig na tubig sa sinabi niya. Can't I just own her kahit ngayon lang?

"W-why? Hindi ba pwedeng tawagan mo nalang siya?" Pinipigilan kong wag mag burst, ayokong makipagtalo. This is suppose to be OUR day.

"S-sorry. Alam mo naman sa company, need dun ng formal absence. I-I'll be back. I promise." promise. Narinig ko na naman ang salitang yan na ilang beses ng sumira sakin. She can't even look straight in my eyes for the love of god! Lies!

"O-okay." I looked down immediately. Ayokong makita niya kong mahina. Ayokong makita niya kong nasasaktan. She kissed my cheeks and head out.

That's when I cried my heart out. I don't know if bakit ko nararanasan lahat to. Hindi ko alam if deserve ko ba lahat ng pain na to. I gave her my all, but it looks like I'm not enough for her. That she doesn't need me anymore. Durog na durog na ko. Hindi ko alam if kakayanin ko pa lahat ng sakit na pwede ko pang maranasan sa kanya. I had enough!

*****

Jennie POV

I know, masama ang tingin niyong lahat sakin. And honestly, galit din ako sa sarili ko na nakikita kong nasasaktan si Lisa sa mga panahon na nirereject ko siya. Sa panahon na hinahanap niya ang atensyon ko, sa panahon na kailangan niya ko. But believe it or not I don't wanna lose her. I can't bare to live my life ng wala siya sa buhay ko. Hindi ko rin alam kung ano itong pinasok ko. Kailangan ako ni Lisa, pero kailangan din ako ni Jisoo.

She's my boss, my bestfriend. Nung mga panahon na lugmok si Jisoo from her past relationship nung niloko siya, I stayed by her side. Bilang bestfriend I made sure na she have me, na hindi lahat ng tao ay iiwan siya. Hanggang sa,I don't know kung pano kami napunta sa ganitong set up, she need someone to be loved, to be with her when she needed company, at sa di maipaliwanag na dahilan, I became that someone that fulfilled the holes from her life. She's happy, I'm happy pero hindi ko ipagpapalit ang relasyon namin ni Lisa, but I can't just leave Jisoo like that.

Nakita ko kung pano siya nadurog, nalugmok and ayaw ko na ulit maulit yun. She tried to killed her self, knowing na walang tao ang nakakaintindi at gustong siryosohin at makasama siya. So nung gabi na magkausap kami habang nag iinuman, we talked and talked habang umiiyak siya and I just comfort her cause I know that she needed that. Pero, yung pag uusap namin, naging intimate from just hugging each other, to kissed and I don't know what happened next, I just saw my self lying on the bed, her on top of me, clothes scattered on the floor, we're both naked, moans, grunts, and ecstacy.

After that, parang walang nangyari and hindi na namin napag usapan pa. Pero naulit ng naulit na may nangyari samin na parang naging hobby na namin na pag kami lang dalawa ang magkasama, automatic ma maghihinang ang mga katawan namin. I can't feel anything for her. No feelings attached. But each time na matatapos ang session namin, I felt so disgusting. Niloloko ko ang fiancee ko, at hindi ko ito dapat isisi lang kay Jisoo kasi ginusto ko rin ito. But God! Hindi ko kakayanin at hindi ko kayang isipin na kaya rin ito gawin sakin ni Lisa. I love her too much and I really dont deserve her but I cant just lose her. I cant. I know I'm selfish and a BITCH. I know it, I know.

Dumiretso ako sa condo ni Jisoo, dun ang meeting place namin palagi so nobody sees us and iwas issue na din.

Before I open the door, cause I know she expect me today na sabay kami papasok, I exhaled deeply.

"Hi Jen." Automatic na ngumiti si Jisoo at lumapit sakin. She kissed me on my lips, it felt so wrong kasi alam kong mali naman talaga ang lahat ng ito. "Lets go?" Aya niya

"Sorry Jisoo, I can't come with you today. M-mag file sana ko ng leave today."

She scrunch her forehead, "Why? May lalakarin ka ba today? I can accompany you."

" I-I will spend my day with Lisa. Sorry." biglang nawala ang ngiti niya sa labi and it changed to a blank face.

"Why? San kayo pupunta? May mahalaga tayong kailangan tapusin ngayon sa kompanya Jen, you can't just leave like that" she replied with her stern voice.

" Look, ilang beses na ang rejection ko sa mga lakad namin, I-I can't bare na makitang mabigo ko na naman ang pangako ko sa kanya. I'm sorry, just this time, I want to be with her again."

She's looking at me na parang hinihintay niyang magbago ang desisyon ko but I made my decision. I dont want to disappoint her again.

"I'll go." tumalikod na ko para lumabas pero di pa man ako nakakalabas ng pinto ay nagsalita na siya.

"Don't go." I look back at her and saw her pleading look. She's so fragile right now and alam kong natatakot siya sa oras na ito. "Please? Don't go with her. Stay with me please Jen?"

There are tears cascading at her cheeks and it always soften my heart to see her vulnerable state. So I walked back at her and hug her tight to just assure her.

"I'll be back. After ng lakad namin, babalik ako dito. W-we'll talk alright?" she slowly smiled at me and feeling at ease sa mga sinabi ko. She lean and kissed me. I wanna cry. I can't keep on doing this to Lisa. O my god! Help me to get out of this messed.

She broke our kiss and let me go.

Nagmamadali akong nagdrive pauwi sa bahay, and pagkapasok ko ng bahay, there I saw her on couch, staring blankly to nowhere.

"Hi" she looked at me surprise na parang di siya makapaniwala na nandito ako sa harap niya ngayon. Bigla siyang tumayo at niyakap mg mahigpit. I dont know pero parang natatakot ako sa mga kinikilos ni Lisa ng mga nagdaang araw na ito. She seems off at palaging malalim ang iniisip, then biglang iiyak, like now. Could it be?... No no no. She doesn't know any of this. Yeah, hindi niya pwedeng malaman ang lahat.

"Hey, bakit ka umiiyak? Sayang naman ang make up mo, you looked beautiful today so please stop crying na baby." She pulled away and smiled at me. I dont know if ano sumagi sakin pero bigla ko nalang siya hinalikan. She flinch from my action, probably kasi matagal na panahon na ng muli kong natikman ang labi niya. She respond to my kisses and I can say that I miss this, I miss her kisses, those plump lips of hers, and this is definitely felt so right. So so right.

I'm really looking forward on this day. No pain, no Jisoo, no pretending, just..... Us.

......

Sorry for the long wait.