Tour (5SOS Fanfic)

Chapter 8 ~

Chapter 8 ~

Taylor's pov ~

"So what is your darkest secret?" Calum asks after everyone has calmed down from my horrible, yet funny joke.

I sigh, not really wanting to tell anyone this. Mainly because it just breaks my heart when I even think about it.

"Do you guys really want to know?" I question, making sure before I actually tell them.

There a was a combination of yeses and maybes. And there was only one no. Which came from Luke. I like that he cares that people shouldn't know about my personal life. It makes me feel a little better.

I sigh once again. Knowing that I'm taking forever to tell them. I mean it wouldn't really seem that big of deal to some people, but for me, I cry just thinking about it sometimes.

"Well, I had this dog ever since I was in elementary school. I love dogs by the way."

"Ooh! I do too!" Calum squeals, which makes everyone laugh.

"Awesome!" I say, hoping to be able to change the subject.

"What happened to him?" Calum asks.

"We were the best of friends. I told him everything. All of my secrets, what had happened that day. Everything."

He was literally on the edge of his seat.

I couldn't even finish the story... So I made up the rest.

"I can't even finish it..."

"Oh... Well that doesn't seem too bad," Calum says.

"Yeah, I guess so," I shrug. But that wasn't what really happened and that isn't my darkest secret. Secrets are secrets. And no one will know mine.

•••••••••••••••••••••••

How do you know what pain really feels like? Is it like being stuck by a needle? Or having your bone being broken. The pain I was feeling, was far more worse. I didn't want to do anything. I felt numb inside, and there was no one there to comfort me. Just like any of my previously failed relationships, this one took a toll. I didn't want anyone to know. We had rehearsals and concerts to do, not help try to fix my broken heart. I wanted to just sleep and listen to music, but I knew that that wouldn't help with anything. So I just put my makeup on and smiled through the pain.

I hoped that no one would notice, but all Luke could do during practices, was stare at me. I'm assuming he knew that I wasn't being myself. I'm usually all laughter and talk, but now it was just a little laugh and quietness. The pain just kept building up. I wanted to know what I did, that made him break up with me. Was it because I'm traveling around the world? Did he not want me anymore? Or am I just blowing this all out of proportion and I'll find out that he just wanted to pick things back up when I got back home?

Everything is beginning to be so confusing, and I can't help but question things. I started to question my life. Why I was here. Why people thought that I was talented enough to go on tour with my friends. Everything was just so confusing.

I've never really questioned much of my life. Like why I chose waffles instead of pancakes for breakfast. I know it's stupid to even think that I'm the problem, but I've always felt that I was the reason for not having a successful relationship.

"Taylor?" Amber asks, sitting next to me. "Are you okay? You don't seem like yourself."

"I'm fine," I lie. "Don't we have practice or something to do?"

"No, it's an off day," she says. "And I know that something is up."

"What do you mean?"

I know exactly what she means.

"You dumped him, didn't you?"

"No... He dumped me," I say, as I start to whale on her shoulder.

"What?! Why would he do that?" She questions.

"I don't know?" I cry, lifting my head off of her shoulder so that I could tell her. "I honestly don't know what I did th-"

"Don't," she sternly says, as she points at me. "Don't you ever say or think that you're the reason he broke up with you. It's his loss, and one day he'll realize that he made a huge mistake for letting go such a beautiful, strongly-minded, stubborn, and smart girl."

"You always know what to say in situations like this... How?" I question, as I sniffle.

"I'm not really sure? You're like a little sister to me, so I'm going to protect you and the other girls. And honestly, if he would've broken up with you when we were still at home, I would've beaten the shit out of him."

I can't help but let out a little laugh. "That made me feel a little bit better... But..."

"But nothing," she says, getting stern with me again. "Now, I've got to go. Because I think that I left my phone on the table in the kitchen, and I don't want those four getting on my phone."

I laugh as she runs toward the front of the bus.

I instantly go back to wondering what I did wrong. What was the reason for the break up. But then, I want to beat myself up. Maybe those stupid tabloids or some of those fans from the other night got a picture of me and Luke? What if that's the reason? That'd be stupid if he actually thinks that me and Luke are a thing, because we're certainly not.

I mean, yeah his smile is very beautiful. And the way he plays with that lip ring of his, is just sexy. But I don't think we'll ever be able to be a thing. Mainly because we've got a future ahead of us.

We could be together, but how long would it last? A couple of months at the most, but I dn't think that it'll be that long. And besides, we've all gotten to know each other over these past few weeks on tour. And it'd be awkward if we did go out, but ended up breaking up. I don't want that. Maybe in another life? But certainly not in this one.

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*Awkwardly laughs* Hey guys...!...

So, I haven't updated in a while... And usually I've got a new chapter posted not long after I've updated.

I feel like I'm neglecting you guys, but honestly I'm not. It's just that school has started back, so it may be a long while before I update again. Or it may not.

And omg Amnesia just came on... I'm gonna go now.

But... I'M GONNA TRY TO UPDATE IN ABOUT AN HOUR OR TWO SO YAY