•ᴛʜᴇʏ ᴅᴏɴ'ᴛ ᏟᎪᎡᎬ• [J.JK x BTS FANFIC] ✔️

Chapter 10- My new best friend

[A/N: Double update 🥳🥳]

1.7.2020
Wednesday
I'm starting a new thing, this, you, will be my new friend. My diary. To spill my emotions. I'll begin.
There's a point in life where everyone falls to—sadness. But depression isn't just being sad. Depression is when thoughts overwhelm you and you can't control yourself. When the emotional and mental pain gets so bad you need a relief. Sometimes you just feel...nothing. You're numb, like you're slowly dying, and it drives me crazy.
I've gotten more insecure and I can't help but imagine the judging stares every time I walk out of my comfort zone.
Is that weird? To feel that you're never good enough? That you're always a burden?
I don't know if I can take it anymore.

                                                - Jeon Jeongguk

2.7.2020
Thursday
You will never answer me. But you give me a good place to spill my thoughts without disturbing anyone. It feels good knowing I won't be a burden. My hyungs already have so much going on in their own life. I'd rather take the extra weight on my shoulders than let them take my life on theirs.
It's not like anyone would care. Damn, my own voice doesn't even listen to me anymore. They'll just pretend nothing happened. Pretend I wasn't there. Like I'm invisible to the world that's crumbling before my own eyes.

                                                 -Jeon Jeongguk

3.7.2020
Friday
I don't understand. Why do people look at someone's expression and decides their feelings based on that?
It's so annoying having to put on fake smiles in front of cameras, therefore I am extremely thankful for this hiatus.
I feel so selfish. Anyone would do anything to have a life like me. Rich, loved, famous...
But why does it still feel as good as living out on the streets?
People have it much worse than I do, but what about mental health?
I feel like I'm not grateful enough. My family, my hyungs, even myself gave up so much just so I could get here and I was willing it end it all.
I realise how stupid I am.

                                                 -Jeon Jeongguk

[A/N: Short chapter, originally I wanted to write at least 5 entries but it's 2am and I can't think so 🤷🏻‍♀️]

Word Count: 378
Chapter 10 End