Loneliness H.S

Chapter Nine

I feel an arm wrapped around my waist holding me close to a warm chest. I am certainly not used to waking up like this, so I look at the hand attached to the arm that is holding me captive in it's sleeping embrace. I quickly recognize the hand when I see a cross tattoo between his thumb and forefinger. It's Harry, yet strangely enough, I don't want him to let go. It's just something about waking up to someone holding you like they were afraid you'd leave.

Memories from last night start rushing back. The thunder, and the way he held me trying to calm me down. The way he stroked my hair and whispered soothing things in my ear, blocking out the thunder strokes. I can't help but smile at the memory. Nevertheless, as he held me I feel a bit confused by his sudden affection. The two times I have shared a bed with Louis, who is basically the first boy I have slept in the same bed as however, he kept his distance. There is something about Harry's embrace that makes me feel secure. Usually, I wake up at least once or twice throughout the night, but tonight I slept the whole night trough, and I have never felt this refreshed before.

I should probably get up before he notices the position we have slept in knowing he probably just took a hold of the closest thing in his sleep. I fight every urge in me that don't want to move when his smell fills my nose. Somehow he always manages to smell clean, even here stuck in a forest. However, I have to get up before he wakes up and it becomes weird. I take a hold of his hand and slowly removes it from my waist, making sure he doesn't wake up. He stirs when I let go of his hand, but doesn't wake up. I stand up and put on some pants first now noticing that I'm only in a t-shirt. When I have put on the pants I walk over to the door. I push it open, but with my luck, it makes a loud obnoxious sound. I whip my head around to see if I woke Harry, and unfortunately, he did. He's sitting up in the bed, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. He turns his head in my direction. "Where are you going?" His voice is thick and hoarse from sleep.

"I just need to talk to Louis for a second." I lie, but he nods his head anyway. I turn to leave, but before he is completely out of sight I look back one last time, his eyes meet mine before they move down to my necklace. He looks disappointed and falls forward on the mattress, face first, and lets out an impatient groan. Impatient for what, I don't know. I turn the corner and can't see him anymore so I head for the stairs.

When I get down the stairs I see no one except Alexandra. Not wanting to be down here alone with her I start to head back up the stairs, but her voice stops me. "Mina, wait. I have been meaning to talk to you." I turn back around to look at her, internally debating on whether not I should stay and hear her out, even though it sounds far from appealing to me. 

Nevertheless, I walk over to her on the couch making sure there is plenty of space between the two of us. "Okay."

"I understand that you might feel afraid of me right now, and I completely understand that, but I want you to know that I truly didn't mean to do what I did." I hear her out as she tries to explain herself and apologize. "You see, I was locked-"

"Yeah I know, Louis told me."

She nodded but continued anyway. "Okay that's good, but there is still something he doesn't understand, something you don't understand. We become this whole other person, and everything except the sound of blood pumping through your veins and the rhythm of your heart gets blurry. It's like someone else controls us, and we can't do anything about it. No matter how hard you try to imagine yourself in our position, you will never understand how it is. I don't expect you to forgive me, but I know you and Louis are close, and he is so sweet to me, and that is not something I am used to."

I'm glad she doesn't expect me to forgive her already, and the way she described how she felt makes me try to see things from her point of view. "Forgiving you isn't that hard, but trying to get rid of the constant fear that you might lose control again is the problem." Alexandra nods as if saying she understands. "However, from what Louis has told me you seem like a nice person, we just had a bad start, right?"