Loneliness H.S

Chapter Twenty Four

I have always loved the calming sound of water, and just touching it feeling the cold substance wapping itself around my fingers. I don't know why I fond it so soothing, maybe it's the way it manages to relax your whole body as soon as it comes in contact with it, or maybe it's the way it makes you feel so clean. However I have never liked physically being in a lake, or in the sea, never knowing what might be just underneath you ready to hurt you, or end your life. Not that there's things over water that can't kill you because there is, but it's just slightly easier to see.

I tilt my head, and look at Harry from the opposite side of the boat. He is just as lost in the moment as I am. Laying down with his legs hanging from the edge of the small boat, his toes are just barely touching the water making them a little damp. The sun is lighting up his face, making his features stand out more then usual. He is always making sure the walls he keeps up can touch the sky, but now they are down to the ground. A small smile is playing on his face, as he enjoys the silence of the moment.

He thought it would be a good idea to do something different then we usually do, so we decided on going on a little boat trip. The lake isn't that big so we can't really go anywhere, but it was big enough for us to just float around. The others wanted to come along, but Harry was determent on making this our second date, so I didn't say anything against him.

The water is completely still, letting us just float quietly in the middle. The sun works as a blanket around me keeping the weak wind there is stay away from both Harry and I. The boat is turning slowly in circles. I never seem to not be amazed at how much greener the grass is indeed greener on this side. Maybe it's the fact that it gets more sun here, or maybe it's because it's free.

Someday I will be free too. Not that I feel trapped, at all, however in someway I am. I can't leave this place of I want to. I can't do the things I planned on doing, I can't do the things I want more then anything. I want to move far away, and live in the top floor of a tall building, not like a suite more like a attic, but not completely that either. A huge window will take up one of the walls giving me an extraordinary view of the amazing place I move to. I can sit there late at night, and paint the lights lighting up the dark city, and in the mornings getting the perfect view of the burning sunset. It will be located close to a library, so I can go there anytime I want, giving me a never ending supply of books. I will work at a cozy cafe near by until I get a better job.

Harry never talks much about the future. We talked briefly about it yesterday, but after he mentioned that the thought haven't really crossed his mind makes me wonder if he is planning on staying here. I think we all secretly are since we know there is no way out of here.

He never talks much about his past either. The only time he did was when he told me a little about what happened to Scarlett, but that's not the thing I really want to know. I want to know what his dreams were when his mind was innocent, when he saw the world as a beautiful place. I want to know the one irritating habit he had that his parents hated, and the one song he could listen to on repeat whiteout even knowing what it's really about. I want to know his favorite toy, memory, and friend. I want to get to know the old Harry. The happy one without a care in the world. The one that charmed the ladies, and made them weak to their knees.

"What were you like before?" I ask in a low tone, not having to talk very loud for him to hear me.

He seems taken back by my question, but is to calm to bother to show it. His eyes travelled the sky as his mind brings back memories of his time before everything bad happened. He has a small smile on his lips telling me it's good memories.

"I was happy, you know. It used to be the only times I could think of that made me happy after I ended up here." He looks at me, but I don't say anything. I want him to keep going, and let the memories that were brought back fall from his lips as he describes them perfectly to me. "I was a very social person from a young age, so I had a lot of friends. However I did always enjoy my time alone. aka never had a problem with being alone." My heart breaks a little at how he is talking in past tense letting me know without saying it that he now has a problem with it. He push himself of from where he sits, and lean forward, resting his elbows on his knees, rubbing his hands together. "Anyway, after everything happened it just showed who really cared for me, and how big of a lie my life really was. I had my way around with the ladies, but after I met Scarlett that all stopped, and all my attention was on her. She always hated how I would stick out my tongue overtime I would take a bite of food." He laughs sadly remembering the times. "There are moments I wish all this didn't happen, of course, but all in all I'm glad it did. It showed me everyones true nature, and realized that I'm not the monster, they were. However that was a long time ago, and I'm a big believer of living in the moment." I can see the sadness resting over him like a grey cloud full of every bad memory.