Stumbled In Love [Complete]

2.

***Trigger Warning: Disability, Bullying.***

I was born exactly four minutes prior to my twin brother Sol, and since the moment we first had our chubby bottoms slapped by the delivering doctor it was universally known that he had been blessed with the worse sense of smell there exists while my misfortune lay in the complete lack of sight. Fluttering my lids open that day in the hospital was possibly the most useless thing I have ever done. Well, that along with listening to Sol when we were 5, to squint really, really hard cause that always made him see better.

Yeah, no amount of squinting in my entire life has worked until now. It was official. I was blind as a bat. Wait, are bats even blind? They aren't, are they? Now who the fuck came up with this ridiculous analogy. See what I mean about the declining intellect of the human race.

Anyway, to get back on topic, I am rather incoherently trying to acquaint everyone with the knowledge of my complete and utter blindness. And one might assume being conventionally disabled and all that would have lent me at least some sympathy in life, right? Wrong!

Cause let me tell you, we humans are a particularly shitty species. Especially twelve year old boys, desperately trying to search for their first sprout of mustache hair, wanting to badly prove their machoness while bullying poor little helpless blind kids. And I swear my sole memory of school would have ended up being tasting swirlies in the gross boy's toilets, if I didn't come along with my own personal saviour, aka Sol.

To be honest, I had long since stopped even keeping track of all the noses he had broken. In fact by the time we strutted our asses to high school I was famously known as someone with a pet hulk, ready to be unleashed the moment my bottom lip quivered in pain.

What was truly shocking throughout our school life was that even after having never lifted a finger myself, I was the one who people correctly stamped as the grouchiest grouch on the planet. Where as Sol, having had gone through uncountable fractures, was still famous for his gentle and kind persona. In fact the weird combination of brawn and heart made him oddly the most popular guy to the opposite sex. He truly must thank me for just how spectacular his romantic life really was.

I, on the other hand, seemed to have an extremely interesting dating history. And by interesting I obviously meant a non-existent one. I mean, it's not really a walk in the park to stroll up to a chick I have literally never seen before and ask her to go smoochy-smoochy with me in some abandoned parking lot, is it? Hell, even a simple walk in the park wasn't a walk in the park for me at times. In fact I'm pretty sure the last date I have been on was when Sol set me up for a blind one, pun completely intended.

Slipping into the passenger seat as my 'date' picked me up, I distinctly remember feeling like a fistful of dead flowers were stuffed into my mouth as I kept choking on the saccharine sweet smell of her perfume.

And then there were her hands. Why the fuck were they so slimy? I mean salamander slimy. Like she had just gone for a scuba dive in fresh grease slimy. I literally had to hold her hands with both of mine to get a solid grip.

Or maybe I was actually holding on to them so tight cause they seemed to have this wayward habit of sliding up and down my thigh rather uninvitingly. Either she was an overly affectionate woman or I must be one hunky looking dude making her panties wet in all kinds of manners. It wasn't until after our rather mind numbingly boring dinner when instead of driving me home she decided to take us to the famous make out spot of our town, crawling her way out of her seat into my lap did I experience my very first kiss. Which was immediately followed by words I honestly never thought I would ever hear.

"Oh God! Kiss me. Kiss me harder. Ahh...blind guys turn me on so damn much."

Wait, what?