Stumbled In Love [Complete]

29.

I slowly shut the door behind me, my tired body instantly finding support against it, as I buried my face in my hands. The weight of the exhausting encounter I just had still beating down on me as I felt my legs give way. Sliding down I found myself sitting smack on the cold floor. Somehow in a position rather similar to the several times I have shared meals with Kong. And yet there was nothing remotely pleasant about this particular moment.

What unforgivable sin had I committed in my past birth that one day, the one freaking day I have been waiting for my entire life had to be this immeasurably ruined. And as if running into my mother wasn't already the literal definition of my nightmare it had to go and be a thousand times worse with Kong actually having witnessed my embarrassment. I don't even know how I am supposed to explain to him what just happened. Seriously, how does one casually slip in the information that your own mother believed all your life that it would have been better for everyone involved if death had claimed me before I was even born and not come off to your date that you were in desperate need to be admitted to the asylum.

You don't.

And maybe it's high time I accept that. Romance was something that was simply not going to be a part of my future. And so bloody what. I bet loads of people go through life all by themselves, perfectly content. And not like this thing with Kongpob was going to lead anywhere anyway. He was going to leave and eventually stop sparing a moment of thought about any of this. And here all I was left with was a last ditch effort to squeeze out the illusions of a normal life I had envisioned having at some point.

Do I sound sufficiently bitter yet? I sure hope so, cause right this moment I hated every damn thing about this blasted existence. I hated my parents to have ever birthed me. I hated Sol for running away the first chance he got. I hated Kong for ever giving me hope for happiness. And above all I hated myself for...for being me.

For the first time in several months once again wondering what was even the point of struggling on every day and night when nothing would ever change. Drowning in my own thoughts about just how unappealing the rest of my life seemed, when the sudden sharp knock on the door made me literally jump out of my skin.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Arthit! Open up. It's me."

Of course it was. Why did I think Kong would actually let me wallow in my misery in peace.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Cmon Arthit. Just let me in. I brought pizza for dinner. With all the toppings you love. Open the door Arthit. Please."

How long do you think I need to ignore him before he decides to leave? Surely a man with decidedly better vision than me would be able to tell quite aptly how much I didn't want to face him right now.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Arthit you know I'm not going to just leave right? You can't just shut out the world every time some asshole shows up in front of you. And you absolutely definitely can't shut me out. Now open up."

What's so wrong in shutting the door to reality every now and then? Seems to have worked perfectly well until now. If you discount the fact that I can count on my little finger the non dysfunctional relationships I have.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

"Fine, then. If this is how you want to play it. I'm just going to have the date I was promised right here and I'm going thoroughly enjoy it."

And before I could even comprehend his words, I felt a soft thud against my front door as he slid down in a manner similar to me. Proceeding right ahead to partake in his so called date. His voice loud and mocking as he pretended to have a one sided conversation with me.